Spoiler! :
Chapter 9
I stood in the center of my room and slid on my red heels. I was heading to Hayley’s birthday party, even though she was mean, she invited pretty much everyone at school. Sam was going with me, Georgie was still a little pissed at me… did I know why? Of course not!
My dress was a black mini that looked torn in many places. It was my favorite dress from Hot Topic. I had on a silver and light blue peace sign necklace with my brand new red leather sparkly bracelet. Just a bit of makeup, and perfecto!
I checked my phone for the time, it was exactly five twenty. Ten minutes until Sam came to pick me up. I ran to the bathroom and curled every other strand of my butt long hair. I fixed my eyeliner and looked at myself.
The navy eye shadow looked great against my light blue eyes. My crazy hair looked perfect with the torn dress, a little Demi Lovato. I was a rocker so it was perfect for me.
I walked out of the elegant brown and beige bathroom and headed down the stairs with my navy blue clutch at hand.
My heels made click sounds every time I hit the wooden stairs.
Once I got downstairs I walked into the kitchen. My mom was sitting in the kitchen, sipping some tea from the huge Starbucks cup and sitting on the laptop. I walked up to her and she looked at me. Her jaw dropped down to the floor.
“Jessa, you look amazing, like your personality mixed with elegant dresses. Hm, like that singer that you like, oh, right, Demi Lovato,” she commented.
“Thanks mom, I think I was heading for that look,” I smiled.
“Spin around,” She ordered.
I spun around on my heel and she sighed.
“Beautiful, I didn’t think that you could dress like this and like it.”
“Well guess what mom, I love feeling elegant,” I mocked, but it was true.
I heard the doorbell ring and my eyes widened. My mom got up off the blue cushioned stool and walked up to me.
“I’ll get it for you,” she said.
“No mom, it’s not a date,” even though it felt like it.
“Uh, still,” she walked away to the door and my heart was pumping so fast that I was afraid that it would jump out of my chest.
When she opened the door I hide behind the wall and I heard them talk.
“Oh Sam, what a surprise.” She greeted.
She knew that Sam was here to pick me up.
“You look very elegant tonight, what is this an elegant party, I never heard of one for you kids this age.” She continued the conversation.
She was the cool type of mom. No embarrassment whatsoever. I don’t know why teens were embarest of their parents….these days.
He chuckled, “Thank you Mrs. Fuller, so, where’s Jessa?”
When he said my name tingles ran down my body.
“Oh she’s in the kitchen, Jessa! Sam’s here,” I guess that, that was my cue.
I walked through the arched door way and saw Sam. My stomach flipped and jumped and danced in my little body.
When he saw me his jaw dropped. I walked up to them and smiled from ear to ear. Wow, he’s surprised.
His eyes widened and he was smiling like crazy.
“Okay kids, have a fun time and Jessa, call me when you get there and when you’re coming home,” she said.
“Okay mom, I love you,” I said.
She hugged me, “Have loads of fun,” she whispered in my ear.
Now don’t go thinking that she wants me to have that kind of fun… she means, oh crap she knows. She meant to get Sam… you know what way, the dating way.
“How do you know?” I whispered back.
We pulled away and she replied, “A mom always knows,”
I kept my smile on.
“I love you too sweetie, bye!”
“Bye,”
We left the house and my mom shut the door behind us.
Sam was dressed in a tuxedo, a black tux that brought out his eyes. He was dressed more elegant than I was; I mean I had a kind of torn dress on!
“You look great,” Sam said once we reached his car.
It was cold, but worth the walk to the car. We opened our doors and hopped in. When he started the car the hot air came again. We buckled up and he drove out of the driveway. The grey interior was now getting darker because the sun was sadly fading. But usually means ‘Party Time’. Right…?
“Thanks,” I replied.
He smiled again. What a great smile he has… STOP IT.
I smiled back and looked out the window on my side. The snow was growing, I should’ve brought a fricken’ coat!
“You look really great too,” I commented.
“Thanks, I just threw this on,”
“Do all guys say that?” I looked at him and leaned back against the seat that was so familiar to me.
He chuckled, “I guess so,”
I laughed a bit.
I wonder if Georgie’s there. She hasn’t talked to me in like three days now! But we told her that we aren’t dating! Oh well, it’s her loss I guess.
“Is Georgie gonna be there?” He asked as he turned right.
“I don’t know, she hasn’t talked to me, how ‘bout you?” I shot a question right back.
“Yeah, she did…” he hesitated.
I sat up.
“What did she say?”
He cringed and just kept his eyes on the road. This must be bad. A warm icky substance grew at the pit of my stomach as I waited for his continuance.
“…uh…she asked me out,” he admitted.
My jaw dropped. That’s a shocker. She’s the shy type of person. Of course she falls in love too fast, but she’s shy, shy as a mouse. How could she do that?
“Please tell me you said now because you are go-,” and that’s when I stopped myself.
I was gonna say something I would forever regret. I mean we aren’t even… I can’t even say it. It’s just not right, really. Impossible? No, just not right.
“What…?” he asked, simply.
“Uh, nothing. Just that y-you are not i-inter-ested in her,” I stuttered.
“Oh, yeah, I’m not. I told her no,” he said.
I felt relief right away and breathed the air that I ended up holding.
He parked at the side of the street and we were at Hayley’s house. I smiled with even more relief and hopped out of the car right away. But I regretted it right away.
The cold traveled down my body, and I just stood there, frozen like a stick.
Sam came up to me with a coat at hand. He already had one on.
“Here, put this on,” he helped me put it on.
“Thanks,” I felt warmer right away.
He stood in front of me and I felt really gueey inside. I don’t know, gueey, I guess. I can’t explain it.
He took my hand and we headed toward the house. He locked his car. I had Hayley’s present in my clutch and we headed to the door.
I rang the doorbell and Hayley opened the door right away.
“Oh great, you guys are here!” she said oddly, cheerfully.
Whenever I was around her she was grumpy and ugly with wrath. I’m not saying that she’s ugly, just saying that she’s filled with show much wrath that it sometimes shows through her ugliness of words and outfits.
She was dressed in a beautiful long pink dress that had a cycle of bows at the bottom of it. Her red hair was no longer in a straight bob; it was in a curly up do.
“Come in, come in, don’t freeze outside!” she yelped.
We walked in and she took our coats. Some butler took them from her. She’s the only super rich girl that I know.
A huge staircase with marble stairs were in front of us. People were in the room to our left so we headed there. The walls were covered in gold strips of fabric and pink ones as well. A huge chandelier was hanging from the tall decorated ceiling; it was silver and had crystals hanging all over it. A huge banner that had: Happy Birthday Hayley! Was hanging at the end of the huge room.
Sam still held my hand as we looked around this elegant ball room.
“Wow, this place is, wow,” I exhaled, was I holding my breath this whole time?
“Yeah, it’s more elegant than the place my parents had their wedding and that was in Paris!” Sam said.
I chuckled and noticed something I didn’t really enjoy. Georgie was flirting with Harry. Wait, what was Harry doing here? Oh, right, Hayley invited everyone, even her new ‘boo’ Hugh. A lot of H names here.
My heart kind of split in half, but not fully.
Georgie saw us and I pulled my hand away right away. My eyes were darting at them. She fixed up his tux and smiled flirtatiously. What the fuck was she doing?!
I wasn’t even with… forget it.
I looked at Sam; he was texting on his phone.
The next thing that I did was from jealousy, competition, and I held it in for too long. When he saw that I was right next to him he smiled. I had no emotion on my face whatsoever. He slid his phone away and I kissed him. Just like that, I did it.
Not bad, not so good either. No, I wasn’t judging the kiss! I was judging the reason.
This kiss wasn’t bad at all. I’m afraid to say this but it was better than Harry’s. Wait, why am I afraid to say it? I ask way too many questions to myself.
But, he doesn’t pull away. He kissed me back.
When we pulled away, we couldn’t stop looking at each other. That’s when I heard someone gasp. I turned around and saw Georgie storming toward us. My stomach got an unpleasant guilty feeling, but I didn’t regret the kiss, which was odd.
“What the fuck Jess?! What the fuck?” she yelled.
Now, why would someone want a party like this? I should stop this.
“Look Georgie, you don’t understand,” she cut me off.
“Oh guess what, I fully do. You saw me flirting with Harry…” she pointed at him, “…and to make me stop, competition of some sort, you kissed Sam! You could’ve flirted, not went to kissing!” she yelled.
I swallowed a frog big time. I couldn’t speak. That was harsh, I didn’t… well partly, I did but just PARTLY! Most of it from really wanting to kiss him, from a huge feeling to him. I liked him, a lot. It was time that I showed it.
My stomach felt like it was going to blow up from nervousness.
“So is that why you kissed me?!” Sam yelled at me as well.
People were staring at us from every corner. Her and there, everywhere. Harry walked up to us though, separate from the crowd. My eyes widened and my throat tightened.
I’m never gonna speak, am I?
I shook my head but I still couldn’t speak. Not even a hum.
“Jessa, is that why you kissed him?” Harry asked.
Oh, so now he’s in the conversation?!
“Well, Jessa…?!” Georgie blasted.
I couldn’t hold it any longer. I ran out of the room, I couldn’t go outside, it was freezing out there. I ran up the stairs and heard my clicks. Tears ran out of my eyes as I ran up. My clutch was no longer in my hand. I reached up stairs and ran into what I guessed was the bathroom.
I opened it and saw that it was a bedroom. Oh well.
It was beige and pink striped; the walls were made of fabric! There was a huge queen sized bed that was covered in a comforter that had hearts all over it. I laid against the door, the lights were off, thank God.
My tears ran down my pale cheeks. I sniffed every five seconds, as I saw only black; my eyes were shut as the tears went away. I dug my head into my hands and opened my eyes. I saw tiny shards of moon light through my fingers. My heart pumped really fats and I felt really guilty.
I had a huge weight on my shoulders now.
“Why…? Why did I do it?” I asked myself through sobs.
“Okay, I liked him, a lot and I had to show it now, today? Because Georgie was flirting with Harry? Competition is the wrong thing especially since you like the guy that you kissed, a lot.” I tried to explain to myself.
“I can’t change anymore now, it happened already. I have to live through it… I… guess.” I sobbed.
I rubbed my eyes but the tears couldn’t stop.
The door behind me was trying to push open. I stood up and wiped my eyes, making sure that they wouldn’t leek. Hayley came barging in and she smiled, widely.
“Oh hi Jessa! You’re the one that caused the furry! Hey, why is Harry mixed in it though?”
Of course she’d ask about Harry. He’s the jock of the school and I’m the mouse.
“Because he used to date me,” I said as slowly as I could.
“Wait, did you cry?” she asked, looking concerned.
“No, my eyes sweated,” I lied and knew the Sam would laugh at that.
Then I saw him, he ran in behind Hayley and he looked shocked. My makeup must be all over my face. From my crying there was no doubt of that.
“Jessa…?” he asked, shocked.
I looked away and pushed past them both. But, Sam grabbed my arm and our eyes met. Some warm thing was at the pit of my stomach. I swallowed hard.
“We gotta talk,” he said, barely. He must have a frog in his throat this time.
I nodded and we walked into Hayley’s room.
“Sorry Hayley, but we really need to work this out,” he explained and shut the grand cream two doors.
I felt my throat close up. Sam led me to the huge bed and we both sat on it. He breathed in deeply and my heart was pounding like heck.
“…Jessa,” he started out, “…did you kiss me just because Georgie was flirting with Harry?” he asked, quietly.
I shook my head. I couldn’t speak again.
My stomach burned and my body tingled with every move he made.
“Can you talk to me?”
I was in shock, I couldn’t speak whatsoever.
I shook my head again and breathed out.
“Come on, I need you to talk, you can help work this out.” He begged.
I cleared my throat and tried. Nothing.
He waited, impatiently.
“Uh, um…” that’s all that came out.
“Jessa…”
“I didn’t mean... to do that…now, today.” I got out, finally.
His eyes widened and my heart skipped a huge beat.
“Do what…?”
“Kiss you, I wanted to… do that, but not like this. Not now, today…I mean look what happened.” I explained.
He scratched the back of his neck.
“Are you sure that you aren’t lying?” he asked.
“Yes!” I said.
He scooted closer to me and my stomach churned.
“So, you meant to kiss me, just to kiss me? Because there was a mix out there. It was confusing, I saw Georgie flirting with Harry, it was obvious that she was doing that to get you pissed. I knew that it was coming, you were gonna try something with me. But instead you kissed me…? That’s crazy!” he explained in shock.
I craned my neck back and sighed. I shut my eyes then craned it back down. I opened my eyes and started to explain the truth.
It was time that Sam knew.
“I kissed you, yes. But I kissed you because I like you. Not because of Georgie…” I felt like I was gonna throw up, “… of course she made me jealous with Harry, and that’s what got me to kiss you, partly. That kiss was because I like you and because of jealousy. I’m so sorry… I really am. I didn’t mean to do anything.” I explained.
He caught every word.
“Sam… I think I love you.”
He looked at me, eyes staring into mine and as quiet as a silent night. He was just catching on to every word I was saying.
I bet he’s going to think I’m some freak. Both of his best friends fell for him. Well, I did. And I just found out yesterday.
“Jessa, I love you too,” he admitted.
He placed his hand on his heart.
“But, are you sure that you fee-,” I cut him off with a second kiss.
But this time, it wasn’t a forced one. It was a great one. Everything in me tingled. My heart leapt into the lovely air and our lips were touching. He held me up and my hands traveled to his back.
I think this was the weird feeling.
I think this was, no, I know this was the thing I needed for it to go away. To fulfill what I truly wanted in life.
A forbidden love? I think so…
We kept on kissing, kissing in the dark bedroom that was unknown to us.
He pulled away and I smiled. He did the same.
“Now I’m sure that this kiss wasn’t forced,” he laughed.
It’s like he could always read my mind.
“Yeah, it wasn’t, it was perfect,” I said softly.
“That was weird though, the one downstairs. You did it just to get Georgie jealous and to show me that you have feelings for me, it was a mix.”
I chuckled a bit and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. My whole body was hot.
I woke up with my heart besting like crazy. I was in the same outfit like I was in the dream, no wonder, I put this on before I fell asleep.
What was that?
I do not like Sam, under any circumstance! I don’t even love him, in that way. I mean I love him like a brother… not a boyfriend. It felt so vivid, so realistic…
I sat up on my bed, the lights were off. It was getting darker outside so I checked the time on my neon green digital clock. It was six pm.
Today was Olympia’s birthday party, she’s a friend of mine, we go to gym together. Our gym teacher forced us to be partners because he chose the partners.
This is weird. We’ve been friends for years, you know, me and Sam. Ever since we hit elementary school. He was with me since fourth grade! I don’t know what hit us now. We’ve been close, cared about each other, comforted each other, we were there for each other. But now, something has been eating at me. This awkward feeling toward him, again, as always. People always said, “Harry and Jessa will be together,” but I always regretted that. I always knew that that was wrong.
I hopped off my bed and felt the cold floor. I grabbed my red heels and slid them on. Sam was actually supposed to pick me up tonight.
I don’t think I can go… after that vivid dream. No way. But I have too. It was her sixteenth birthday for God’s sakes! No wonder that Sam was picking me up in the dream, no wonder I was wearing the same thing.
But why did it take place in Hayley’s house? And why was she so freakin’ nice?!
I walked down my un lit room and opened my red bedroom door. The loft was lit with candles; I guess that the power went out. No biggy, it’s just the power.
I grabbed the stair rail and walked down the wooden steps. I felt déjà vu right when I heard the familiar click that my heels made.
My makeup was on, I remember putting it on.
I reached the bottom floor and took a deep breath. I walked into the living room and spotted my brother Frankie playing on the PS2.
“Oh man, just forty milliseconds!” he complained.
He was playing Grand Turismo Five again. His favorite game.
“Hey sis, you look great! Where’re you headed to?” he asked, eyes still glued to the TV screen.
“Um, to Olympia’s birthday bash,” I walked up to him and sat on the leather couch.
He was driving a Lotus on some German track. It was said to be the hardest track in the world, people died just trying to drive on it.
“Oh, cool, cool.” He said.
I sighed and looked around the room. Nothing has changed, same old family pictures in those black frames hung on the wall. The rug, from Native Americans still lay on the hard wood floor. Was I expecting something to change? No, not really.
“So, did you beat this track before…?” I asked him.
“Yeah, tons of times!” he said, ecstatic.
I stood up and walked through the arch way into the kitchen. My mom wasn’t there.
“Hey, where’s mom?” I asked Frankie.
“At the neighbor’s, oh and Sam stopped by. I told him you fell asleep so he drove off…” he said.
I turned around on my heel with my pals sweating. I stormed toward him and I stared into his green eyes. He pressed pause and saw my anger.
“Girl, whoa, chill out!” he said.
“No, I won’t ‘chill out’. Why didn’t you wake me up?!” I asked, with a louder tone.
“I thought that you were tired that’s all, is that so bad?”
No, not really. I didn’t wanna go anyway. But it was for Olympia.
“Yes!” I protested.
“No, not really,” I added.
He smiled and stood up from the couch. He towered over me by a foot. Yeah, I was a shorty.
“I’ll drop you off then, I bet he’ll be surprised.” He proposed.
I smiled back and calmed down. At least he would drive me there. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed the yellow plastic bag that was on the counter top. That was Olympia’s present. My clutch was right next to it; my mom must have gotten me ready then.
I walked out and noticed that my brother was already in his navy blue coat. I grabbed my green puffy one and slid it on my skinny arms.
When he opened the air, a huge blast of cold air hit our faces. There was no snow anywhere though. We walked through the cold and saw the night fall. It was a pitch black sky. We hopped into my brother’s BMW Beamer. It was his favorite car.
He started the car and the warm air came pouring in. I smiled as he started to head to her house.
“What did you get her?” he asked eyes on the dark road.
You could barely see anything out there! So, he turned on his fog lights.
“Uh, let’s see…” I took a peek into the bag and saw a red and black striped scarf, “I got her a scarf,”
I remember getting that last week! Olympia was pouring over it, begging for exactly this one, when she wasn’t looking I bought it, and saved it for today, her special day.
“Oh, that’s nice…hold on,” his cell phone rang some David Guetta song.
“Hello…?” he answered.
I looked out the window and saw that we were getting closer to her house.
“No! Why would I… hold on, what?!...uhuh…no,no,no…” He spoke to the phone.
What is he talking about? Is someone blaming him for something? This won’t be so good if someone’s doing that. Why would someone blame my brother for something? He’s not that bad.
Many mansions passed by us as we drove through the forest. Just like Hayley, she was a rich girl, but not a snob. Her dad was a major film producer, he made movies with Antonio Banderas, Sylvester Stallone, Tom Cruise, oh and Nicole Kidman. Not a lot of people knew him though; he was a very private film producer.
“I gotta go Scott, bye.” He hung up abruptly.
“Fuck,” he hissed to himself.
God that must’ve been bad, really bad.
“What happened?” I asked, looking at his worried face.
He shook his head, “Nothin’,”
I rolled my eyes, “Really…? You can tell me anything you know anything.”
He breathed in deeply and came to a halt. The car stopped rumbling as Frankie laid his head back against the head rest.
“Harry, he called me.” He sighed.
My jaw dropped.
Why did that ass…hat call him?! Does he really think that he could get to me that way?!
“What…?” I asked.
“I know, same reaction here,”
I picked at my purses beads as he went on.
“…he wanted me to get you to go somewhere, to meet him. He thought that I was that stupid to make you do that. I was supposed to keep it secret, get you there somehow…what an idiot, right?” he laughed.
My stomach churned at those words. I heated up and opened the door.
“Just tell him to leave me alone, I’m going.” I hopped out and I heard him whisper a short bye.
I shut my eyes and breathed in deeply standing still in front of my now shut door. He drove off and I walked to the black gate. There was a speaker with a button so I pressed it. It rang to the house.
“Hello…?” Olympia asked.
There was a camera right in front of me, so I waved and smiled.
“Oh hey Jessa! Come in, come in,” she said, hyper of course.
She was the sugar high girl. Really.
I walked to the now moving gate and squished my way onto the long red brick sidewalk. It led to the huge rock covered mansion.
I walked past the maple trees that were placed five feet away from each other, which made the sidewalk ten feet long. I reached the front door and Olympia opened it with a huge, white teethed smile.
“Hey,” she let me through and shut the door behind me.
I stepped in and saw a completely different setting than at Hayley’s. But I still felt an awkward feeling crawl all over me. It looked very comfy, and homey. The front room had two coat hangers filled with many of different colors. I hung mine up and walked to the party, which was on my left from the sound of music and sight of many kids.
Once I stepped in, I noticed that it was a tennis court covered by a huge see through tent. Party tables were on the sides of the room covered in snacks and drinks. People were dancing to Ke$ha and talking to each other. A huge banner was hanging above the tables with ‘Happy Birthday Olympia!’ written on it.
“Hey Jessa!” someone called after me.
I whirled around and saw Sam. His smile made my heart beat faster. At least I knew why…
“Hey Sam,” I smiled.
“I’m sorry that I didn’t wait for you, your brother said that you were really tired.” He tried to explain.
“It’s okay,” I said.
I grew a shy smile and he laughed. Then, I saw Georgie run from the dancing crowd, breathing deeply, but smiling like crazy. I put the present on the present table and walked back up to them.
“Jessa!” she screamed from excitement.
I guess that that dream was wrong. She wasn’t mad at me anymore…
Her hair was curled and she was wearing a puffy, yellow sleeveless dress. Her heels were black and clicked against the dance floor that was placed over the tennis grounds.
“Georgie!” I ran up to her and hugged her tightly.
She jumped from joy when I let go.
“Why are you so jai ho?” I asked.
She grabbed onto Sam’s arm and they both smiled this time. I had a really bad feeling about this.
“Sam asked me to this dance!” she yelped.
My heart fell as my jaw did. He was supposed to take me, and even though I was sleeping that doesn’t mean that he goes out asking others and giving them freakin’ fake hope!
I grabbed onto Sam’s other arm and pulled him away from Georgie.
“We need to talk,” I hissed.
Georgie let go and looked completely confused. I pulled him to the other end of the court and pushed some people away so we could talk privately.
“What were you thinking?!” I whispered angrily.
He smirked and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Well…?”
“What are you talking about?” he asked, calmly.
“You took Georgie to this party, you were supposed to take me, but that doesn’t matter.” I pointed at myself, “Why did you give her fake hope? We talked about this already!” I explained in a whispered hurry.
He chuckled a little and put his hands on my shoulders, which caused me to shiver for a second.
“Listen, Jessa, I know that you are jealous…”
“What?!” I yelled this time.
People swiveled to us but I ignored them.
“I’m so not jealous Sam! I’m just worried, scared for Georgie. I don’t want her getting fake hope…” I held in my tears.
This just broke me apart, not only for Georgie’s fake hope problem, but my own. My heart skipped many beats but I still went on living.
Then I heard someone walk fast to us. I turned my head and saw Georgie almost in tears. Her hands were on her hips and her lips were trembling.
“Fake hope…?” she asked weakly.
I looked down at my heels, but still nodded. I felt a huge stone block lift up off my shoulders but felt one hit my head hard. That one was from guilt and jealousy.
“I can’t believe you Jess!” she exclaimed.
I bolted my head up right and my jaw dropped.
“Wait, what?”
“You, of all people. I can’t believe that you of all people would be jealous and ruin my relationship with Sam! You wanted me to have him, you always supported me, and now you’re ruining it? Just because you miss Harry?!” she yelled.
My heart stopped when she said Harry.
This is oddly reminding me off the dream I had. Maybe it was trying to warn me that this could happen to me.
“Georgie, wait… I can explain…” I wanted to tell her the truth but she didn’t budge.
“No, Jessa, not this time! This time you are just simply wrong,” she grabbed Sam and walked away.
Leaving me in complete shock and misery. How could he do that?!
How…?
I felt tears break free from my eye barrier and I looked down as I walked away from this strange crowd. My heart was beating faster and my stomach was flipping. The crowd made a way for me as my favorite band Matchbox Twenty played a song that fit my mood perfectly. Bed of Lies.
I walked through the doors into the house and heard Olympia greet some new guests. I still looked down, crying.
“Hey, Jessa, what’s up…?” she said the last part slowly.
I looked up and saw her worried face.
“Nothing, Happy Birthday...” I grabbed my coat and slid it on, “…I have to go,” I sobbed the last part and ran through the opened door.
I searched through my purse for my phone, but my blurry sight from the tears made it harder. My heels started to slip and I slowed down. I sat on the snowy walkway and found my phone.
“Frankie…?” I sounded like a reck.
“Jessa, are you okay…?”
“Can you just please pick me up?”
My life is ruined, how could someone do that to me? Is this even real life? Was I in that horrible dream again!?
The snow blew harder around me and hit my face.
“Sure, I’ll be there in five,” he hung up.
I slid my phone back into my pocket and whipped my tears. Is this really truly even possible? Even true?
I pinched myself just to make sure. It didn’t hurt; my arm was frozen from popping out of the sleeve. So I tried again, and expected it to be frozen again, but it hurt. No wonder, it was in my sleeve this time, a very warm place for pinching. It hurt really hard so I rubbed the pain away.
I was awake.
This was real.
That was actually good news to me.
I stood up and whipped the snow off of my long coat. The dark sky was brightened by the stars that flashed in the sky, the moon was full.
Did that mean bad luck? I don’t believe in superstitions, but still. Just asking.
I stood in the cold, snowy night. I checked the time on my phone, seven. Yes night, or afternoon? I shivered at every
wind stroke, every snowflake that hit me.
Why would Sam just dump me like that, like garbage? I mean, we weren’t dating or anything but why would he just let me take the blame?! And he thought that I was jealous, what a lie.
I saw some head lights flash through the gate and I started running toward him. The snow was a couple inches high, which caused me not to slip surprisingly. I reached the gate and it opened, without anything to do.
I walked through the gap and hopped into the hot pick up. My tears were fading once I shut the door. Frankie pulled out of the driveway.
“Now Jessa, can you tell me what happened?” he started to head home.
Even though I looked out the window, I didn’t concentrate on the surroundings at all. They were just there, not for me to notice.
“No, not now. At home,” I sighed.
“Alright then,” he said.
The rest of the ride was silent but not deadly. Ha-ha. No, that wasn’t as funny as I thought.
We were sitting in the family room, and the TV was sadly off. My parents were sitting on the three seated and I was on the sofa. My brother had the love seat to himself.
They got me into an intervention…great. I wasn’t a bad child at all!
My brother grinned and my heart skipped a beat from fright. He sometimes scared me with his evil ideas to make me spit stuff up.
“Jessa,” my mom held onto my dad’s arm.
I looked at them for only a single second and looked back at the fire that was in the fireplace.
“What…?” I asked quietly.
She sighed, “I understand, but you gotta tell us what happened. We wanna help sweetie,”
Their pressure was biting at me.
“Well, guess what…” I looked up at all of them, “You can’t.”
My dad’s blond hair was holding up his glasses on his head as he listened to me.
“Why not?” he asked.
“Because, Sam ruined it, not me,” Tears blew out again and I ran out of the room almost slipping on the rug.
I ran up the wooden stairs, holding on to the dang railing. I ran through the now dark loft and slammed my door shut, locking it.
I landed on my bed and let my tears through.
Just like Rob Thomas sang, “Her diamonds were falling down…” mine were now.
***
I woke up in the morning expecting to go to another day of school. My eyes could barely open, its like they were glued together by my used to be there tears. I opened them and saw a note on my bedside table.
Don’t go to school today Jessa, you really had a horrible day yesterday, rest.
Love, Mom.
Wow, she was in a good mood today, not me. No wonder she didn’t wake me up today. It was nine am now so she was at work, today Dad had a day off. I mean it would be fun to ne home alone, but it could be potentially suicidal in my case. I mean I’m sad, I need happiness. Keeping me in sadness could just make me worse, and maybe even suicidal. Just kidding, I wouldn’t go that far.
I hopped out of my bed and stretched my arms up in the air above my head. The beautiful sun shined through the clouds and there was no snow falling. And Christmas was in a week.
My slippers warmed my feet as I slid them on. I walked out of my bedroom, yawning and headed to the bathroom. I did my essentials and headed down the creaky stairs. I could smell eggs and fresh bruin coffee coming from the kitchen. My dad’s original breakfast.
I got into the kitchen and caught him watching some TV as he ate breakfast.
“Hey dad,” I greeted, waving my hand.
He hummed and smiled. His mouth was stuffed with hot sunny side up eggs. I smiled and walked up to the water heater, whatever you call it.
It was empty so I filled it up with water in the sink then put it back to where it belonged and pressed the heating button.
I sat next to my dad and watched the morning news with him. He loved watching the news and listening to it nonstop. I for one hated it unless it involved music or TV/movies. Or something important that landed in my city. He loved politics but never planned to be an actual politician.
He swallowed, “Hey sweetie, how was your sleep?” he asked, sipping some coffee.
“Fine, but my head hurts like heck,”
“That’s from your crying,” he explained.
The water heater stopped boiling and I grabbed a cup with a tea bag and filled it to the very top. I took out some lemon and sugar, ready for the tea.
This was going to be a better breakfast.
“I know dad,” I said.
He smiled as I squeezed the tea bag and threw it away under the sink, which was where the garbage was. I cut a piece of lemon, threw it into the tea and sweetened it with two spoons of sugar.
I mixed it and put the spoon into the sink.
“Breaking news,” some lady said on the TV.
I sat back down and stared at the TV, I was just watching for watching unlike my dad.
“… Our basketball star , Harry Hertz…” That’s when time really went back to slow.
“…got into a car accident on the highway, a hit collision with a semi truck,” I put my cup down before I had time to drop it.
Tears came down my face as we kept on watching. My heart was on high speed and I was numb all over. Did he die?
“…but he’s okay, he is stable in the Resurrection Hospital. The crash wasn’t terrible, he was saved by the paramedics.” She said, but it felt like it took her hours to finish just that sentence.
I hopped off my chair.
My dad’s jaw dropped and he followed right behind me.
“You wanna go see Harry don’t you?”
All I did is have to nod and we ran out of the house and to the car. It was time to see what had been happening to Harry these few weeks.
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