A/N: I really want to thank everyone who helped me with the writing of this (tapatia and captain.classy are the only people who are on yws, so I can formally give credit) because this wouldn't be what it is without their help. Um. I'm very interested to hear what people think of this, since it's partially autobiographical and I had some difficulties being objective about it. It's still kind of raw, but I didn't know how to go forward with it. Also there's the issue of the rating. I put it at 18+ for now, for some language and mild drug reference, but this story will earn its higher rating.
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Ruby Young had goals, goals that needed to be met. She’d been patient, and waited, and tapped her foot, and checked her watch for so long now -- since before these were even goals – before she even decided she was really going to do something about it.
Some of these goals – getting into her first choice college, DePaul University (which simultaneously knocked out her goals of fucking off out of Alameda and attending college in Chicago, city of her dreams) and graduating high school – had been met. And that was great. Really just great.
But these other goals were of equal if not weightier importance.
Goal #1: Self-reinvention. It kind of goes unsaid when you decide to move across the country for college, but not everyone is looking for reinvention who’s seeking to go out of state, as proved by various members of Ruby’s graduating class: 1. Elise Goode, who made her decision to go to Arizona State based on the fact that it was a notorious party school and 2. Jeff Moody was on his way to Cornell, and was admittedly smart, but also already came prepackaged with his own monogrammed sweaters, topsiders, and trust fund.
Ruby was going to travel lightly. She was going to take the good with her, and leave the bad – or at least whatever had allowed her to take the four years that made up her teenage years and high school for granted, by being shy. Of all the things.
Goal #2: Eye contact with guys. Cute guys. Attractive guys. Goal #1 was all about Goal #2. Yes, she wanted to make friends too, of course, but now she was really getting into the meat of it. If she was shy how was she supposed to make eye contact with any these cute and attractive and whatever-other-adjective-that-is-synonymous-with-appealing guys? Making eye contact itself was meaningless and possibly creepy if it weren’t for
Goal #3: Speak to said Cute and Attractive Guys. Ruby hadn’t figured out yet how she was going to go about this exactly. In a college setting it should be easier – people didn’t go in knowing each other, and in a city like Chicago, people were meeting each other for the first time all the time. But still. This implied that she was going to have to be the one to start conversation. Something she had very rarely (if at all, but she wanted to not be absolute here) ever done. And then there was her culminating goal, the goal that made all three lesser goals so important:
Goal #4: Boyfriend: She wanted a boyfriend. She’d spent several years throughout pre-pubescence, then actual-pubescence pining for a boyfriend, for someone to come along and sweep her off her feet, for some kind of divine (or Disney, as she often though of it) intervention. And then she stopped upon 1. her later teens and, 2. learning a little about female empowerment and self-respect. And now she was somewhat where she started, only this time she did have self-respect (sort of) and at least knew what female empowerment was (sort of). She at least didn’t expect any silly man to do the job of sweeping her off her feet.
Oh, yes. She was going to have to get her hands dirty.
+++
Ruby was excited to leave -- more excited than she’d been for any single event in her life. But there was also a lot she was leaving behind in California, besides a little shyness.
The night before Ruby left she went to Viva Mexico with Greer, Paige, and Roanne. It seemed so normal, Ruby thought on her walk over. This could have been any night that summer. She’d made this walk down Central Avenue how many hundreds of times before? How many hundreds of times had they sat huddled at a booth at Viva Mexico, munching on chips, and laughing and discussing? It was easier that this was a routine maybe, but it was also this fact that made it easy for Ruby to be in denial – that was except for a twinge in her stomach every time she thought about what was to occur the following morning.
Paige was already sitting in a booth when Ruby arrived. She looked up from the book she was reading, when Ruby approached the table. “Hey,” she said.
“Hey,” Ruby said, with a big, nervous, eyebrow-raising smile. “Have you ordered?”
“No, I was gonna wait for you guys to get here.”
“Should we wait for Greer and Roanne?”
“If you want,” said Paige.
Ruby took a seat and tried to think of something normal to say. Paige seemed to be waiting for Ruby to do the same. “So. How was work?”
“Boring. I was there basically all day today by myself.”
“Ooh. Sounds… fun.”
“Not really,” said Paige. She took off her glasses, placed them on top of her closed book, and folded her arms on the table. “What did you do today?”
“Uh, nothing really. I finished packing mostly. There’s still some stuff I have to pack in the morning, but yeah. I drew a little.”
“Are you nervous about tomorrow?” Paige asked, smiling a little.
“I’m not nervous about tomorrow. I just feel kind of weird about it all – like it’s not happening. It’s almost like I’m going to come back on that plane with my parents and Hugh.”
“Imagine how weird it’s going to be for Hugh.”
“Yeah, I know. But we hardly see each other that much anyway, so it’s probably not going to be that weird.”
“But you’re his sister. He’s used to seeing you at least sometimes. Are you guys going to talk when you’re away?”
“I don’t know.” Ruby had thought about this, but had never really been able to imagine sending Hugh a text or giving him a call just to say “Hi.” She’d never even texted him unless she forgot her keys at home, and was locked out of the house, or if she needed to pass along a message for her parents. “I kind of doubt it.”
“Really?” said Paige, scrunching her eyebrows. She glanced over Ruby’s shoulder then, and said “Greer’s here.”
Greer came over to their table, and slumped down beside Paige. “I am starving. Did you guys order?”
“No, we were gonna wait,” said Paige.
“Well, I’m gonna order,” said Greer, twisting her backpack around to her front, and rooted in it for her wallet. “Hope you guys are cool with that, because I am not waiting.”
“I think I’ll order then,” said Paige, making a face that was half guilty, half gleeful.
Greer and Paige turned to stare at Ruby.
“Uh, I’ll…” she turned to look over her shoulder at the door. “I guess I’ll order too then.”
Roanne arrived as they lined up at the counter, looking windswept and out of breath. “Fuckin’ bus was late,” she muttered as she got in line behind Ruby.
“You’re not that late though,” said Ruby. “Greer just got here, and I was only here a little bit before that. You didn’t miss much.”
“Still,” said Roanne.
With everyone having ordered, they reclaimed their seats at the table.
Greer raised her eyebrows. “So,” she said, addressing Ruby, “how are you doing about tomorrow?”
“Fine,” said Ruby. “I’m still in denial.”
“You’re not scared or anything?”
“Well. A little. I mean, tomorrow’s easy though – I’m just taking the plane, and then staying with my aunt and uncle and cousins. But in two days from then, that’s move in day.”
“Wow,” said Paige.
Ruby shrugged. “This is pretty weird though. You guys realize this is like the last time in a while that the four of us are going to sit like this here?” This wasn’t really what Ruby had wanted to say completely; she’d wanted to tell them she knew she’d never have anything like this again. You only got one shot at a friendship like they had. But she didn’t.
“Don’t say that!” Greer said, throwing her hands up to cover her mouth. “You can’t forget us. You have to text and email and whatever with us all the time, okay?”
Ruby frowned. “Yeah, of course.” She was somehow irked at Greer for saying this, though it wasn’t necessarily unreasonable. Greer wasn’t leaving. She would be here with Paige and Roanne, and could hang out, and go to Viva just like always. Ruby was the only one who really ran the risk of being forgotten.
Greer suddenly gasped and clapped her hands over her mouth.
Paige, Roanne, and Ruby turned to look at her.
She peered at them over her hands, and it was clear she was hiding a grin. She dropped her hands, and said, “Sorry. Keep going.”
“No, now you have to say.”
Greer looked around at everyone, and failed at smothering her smile. “Me an Big Hands are gonna hang out on Friday.”
“Oh my God,” said Roanne, grinning herself. “What happened?”
“Well, I saw him coming in, as I was leaving work, and he was just like ‘Hey, we should actually hang out, because I have some free time, and we keep talking about it.’”
“Did you flip out?” said Ruby.
“Oh, yeah, completely, but mostly just in my head.”
“Finally, though, right?” said Paige.
“I know, I didn’t think we were really going to hang out – like it was just something we would talk about.”
“What are you guys gonna do?” said Ruby.
“I guess he got like, a huge amount of weed for really cheap, so yeah.” She grinned at them. Greer was the only one who really partook in these kinds of illicit activities. Roanne, Paige, and Ruby were all tolerant, but had always politely declined her invitations to join her. Despite the fact that maybe they didn’t altogether approve of recreational drug use, they could appreciate that this was nearly a date.
“Sounds romantic,” said Ruby.
“Oh, it is,” Greer said.
“I believe you,” Ruby laughed.
“I couldn’t even think of a more romantic pre-date-hang-out-activity.”
“Neither could I,” said Roanne. “It’s perfect for you.”
“What does that mean?” said Greer, all mock outrage. “Are you calling me a pothead?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
Greer tuck her tongue out at Roanne, and Paige and Ruby laughed.
It was easy from that point to pretend that this was normal, and that tomorrow Ruby was going to wake up at ten, but lie in bed until one, reading and surfing the Internet. It was easy to pretend that tomorrow she might do this dinner all over again. But she wasn’t.
Saying goodbye was strange. Roanne and Paige both had parents that expected them home fairly early, so it was at nine that they departed from Viva. They walked slowly down Central Avenue. It was only dark now; the sky was that bruised color always left in the wake of a sunset. Alameda was quiet, except for a sleepy breeze that stirred the trees lining the streets. There was a hush that the four girls made sure to ignore, as they chattered and laughed the entire walk, until they reached Versailles Avenue, where Greer had to turn.
They paused at the corner and their residual laughter died down.
“Text me tomorrow,” said Greer. Her big blue eyes got even bigger as she said this. Ruby hoped she didn’t start to cry.
“Yeah, I’ll text all of you guys.”
“And email us too.”
“And you have to email and text me,” said Ruby, smiling. Her heart lurched.
“Of course we are,” Greer said, face growing pink – a sure sign she was on the verge of tears. “You seriously aren’t allowed to forget about us when you’re surrounded by all those interesting college people, okay? It’s just not allowed.”
“I won’t,” said Ruby, who was having trouble holding up her smile herself.
Greer stood there for a moment, her eyes glittering in the streetlamps. “I fucking hate this,” she said, chin crumpling.
Ruby’s hands were shaking, her knees felt weak, and her throat felt constricted, but she wasn’t going to cry. She wanted to though. “Me too.”
Greer stepped forward and hugged Ruby. They, as a group, did not hug. Ruby had only ever hugged Paige and Roanne at their graduation, in a burst of adrenaline and relief that the whole thing was over. Now though was as good a time as any to be sentimental.
When they parted Greer said, “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Yeah. Bye.”
They waved and Paige, Roanne, and Ruby began to walk to Ruby’s house, where Paige and Roanne would be getting a ride from Roanne’s dad. Ruby looked over shoulder at Greer taking her iPhone out of her backpack and uncoiling the earphones.
“That was emotional,” said Ruby, in an effort to make light of what had just transpired – but her hands were still clammy, and her voice was all high-pitched.
Roanne laughed.
“It’s supposed to be emotional,” said Paige.
“I guess.” She wanted to add that she couldn’t believe Greer cried, but she didn’t because she could believe it and that would have been a complete lie. But it scared her – suddenly this was very real, and she didn’t feel so normal anymore.
When the three of them got to Ruby’s house on High Street, her parents were in the kitchen. Roanne and Paige fell into the cushy brown suede couch in front of the window, and Ruby the red chair across from them. They just sat in the dark; Ruby claimed to be too lazy to move from where she’d fallen to turn on a light. Truthfully, she just liked the half-light of the streetlights and traffic spilling in from the busy street.
“You should text us as soon as you wake up,” said Roanne.
“I should,” said Ruby, “definitely try to remember that.”
“No, do it,” said Roanne.
“Yeah, just say, ‘Hey guys, I’m going to brush my teeth right now,’” said Paige.
“Why do you need to know about me brushing my teeth?”
“This is going to be the last morning you’re going to brush your teeth in California,” said Paige. “It’s important.”
Ruby laughed. “You know, I am coming back in November, right?”
“Okay, so it’ll be the last time for three months or something,” said Roanne. “I want to know about it though.”
“Me too,” said Paige.
“Okay,” said Ruby, smiling a little. “You guys’ll be the first to know.”
“We better,” said Roanne. “Damn it.”
A car horn honked out front. “That’s my dad,” said Roanne turning to look at the Volvo in the driveway. Roanne and Paige both looked at Ruby, who had sat up straighter in her chair.
“Okay then,” she said, and stood up, to unlock the door. She held the door open.
Paige hugged Ruby as she exited, and said, “I keep feeling like I’m gonna see you tomorrow or something.”
“Me too,” said Ruby. She smiled. “You guys have to text me too.”
“Obviously we,” said Roanne gesturing between herself and Roanne, “are going to be texting you like crazy. You’re the one who forgets they even have a phone.”
“Shut up – you forget you have a phone too sometimes,” said Ruby, and hugged Roanne, as she went out the door after Paige. “Bye.”
The pair of them waved and called a “Bye, Young,” to Ruby from the bottom of the stairs, and Ruby watched them clamber into Roanne’s dad’s car, and drive off.
+++
It was getting a little late at 9:30, but she decided to go for a short run anyway. Her mom told her to be careful when she was crossing streets, since she was plugged into her iPod.
It was a nice night for a run. It was empty and cool. She ran passed her former middle school on Fernside Avenue, and then as she approached the Bay Farm Island foot bridge, she veered to the left, to a cement circle, with a bench facing out into the estuary between Alameda and its neighbor, Bay Farm Island. There was a chain link fence adjacent to it, partitioning off the Aeolian Yacht Club, and then a pathway that wound around beneath the foot and car bridge. From where this bench was situated she could see the glow of the Oakland Coliseum, and the twinkling of hundreds of lights in the Oakland hills. Ruby stretched methodically, then started up the footbridge.
On her right the Bay opened up to the San Francisco skyline. It was gleamed and shimmered phosphorescent orange. A sea breeze swept the stray hairs out of Ruby’s face, the breath from her mouth, and she felt a crushing emotion hit her square in the heart. She stopped at the junction in the middle of the bridge to stare across the water at the city. She swayed her body slowly to the music pumping in her ears. The song reached its crescendo, and it was like she was in a movie, and it was all very real. A lump formed in her throat, her chin twitched, and a couple tears escaped. She wiped them away, and turned back around to head home – she had packing to finish.
A/N: Nothing much happens in this chapter but things pick up in the next one. I'd love to hear feedback!
They sound so cute, their friendship is so sweet. Oh, and I LOVE the two paragraphs at the end, simply amazing description. But the dialogue, as in the conversation they have...I think those were a bit too long and boring. Not all of them, I like the way you used dialogue to bring out their character traits, but, I don't know. Too long. That's just my opinion though.
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