Letters [2]

Thank you so much for your help!!! It means the world to me

Letters [2]

Cody, you ungrateful twerp!

You were drunk! You were effing, freakin' drunk! I just heard!!! You. Are. Such. An. Idiot.

Why didn't you think?! The school gave us about a million classes about why we shouldn't drink and drive and you just go on and screw all that up! God, Cody, there's a head on your effing shoulders for a reason!!!

You're not here right now, so you can't see, but everyone's a mess. How could you do that to your Mom and Dad and little Amber, and hell, yeah, family's important, but honestly, how could you do that to me?

I just thought you were in a car wreck or something!

Okay, I get it, so you and Mark drank a little, fine, but then why the hell did you drive?! I am so not talking to you, ever, ever, ever again! I hate you!!!

P.S. The last part is not true, okay? I'm just really, really pissed.

---

Dear Cody,

Though you hardly deserve the dear part anymore, I calmed down a little. We all make mistakes, right? Besides, as bad as I'm feeling about it, I know you must be suffering even worse. I mean, it's you, so your conscience is probably killing you at the moment. So I'm not saying you were right. I'm saying you made a mistake. And I forgive you, at least, okay? So cheer up.

Good night, Cody.

---

Dear Cody,

We were excused from school today. Mel came over to my place today while the parental units were at work and we blasted the speakers as loud as they would go and played a lot of music in your honor. We danced and screamed the lyrics along with everything, even the sad bits, though those just made me want to cry. All the neighbors were at work so no one complained – it was so fun!!! Afterwards we sat down and ate your favorite caramel ice-cream. If I grow fat it's officially your dumb fault.

I strolled around the grave yard a little today, and you know, the place is kind of lively. There are a lot of flowers and the grass is green and it's really pretty. A lot of people left flowers next to your grave, but I guess you already saw that from heaven, or maybe you were too busy jumping along with us and singing.

Codes, we never really talked about what would happen if one of us died. So please don't go on and have an angel-girlfriend. It would seriously tick me off.

I didn't put flowers yet because I'm looking for that flower you liked. You said it's your favorite, so I'm on the look out. I just spent the day doing nothing. Tomorrow's a school day. Ugh. I bet they don't have school in heaven. Well, maybe Sunday school.

Love ya, Codes.

Hi, there! Here to review.

First, I'm not actually sure if there's a first part to this, so I'm just going to review it as it is.

I really liked your beginning. You started well, because I'm immediately intrigued. The story seems basic at this point: Girl's boyfriend dies, girl writes letters to aforementioned boyfriend. Already it has an interesting premise.

Your narrator's voice is fresh and funny; her character is strong and it shines through the prose. This is great. Also, the story is already unfolding with the procession of letters.

One recommendation I have is to rate the story; it helps everyone know what they're going to be reading, and thus filter if necessary.

Keep writing!

--Glim

Hey I'm going to review your work!

Nice opening, very interestin vocabulary 'twep'. I guess this is a teenager speaking?

Cody, you ungrateful twerp!

I think instead of head it should be eyes?

The school gave us about a million classes about why we shouldn't drink and drive and you just go on and screw all that up! God, Cody, there's a head on your effing shoulders for a reason!!!

I think it should be pissed off, because pissed could be another word for drunk, and that wouldn't work with where you are goin with this piece!

P.S. The last part is not true, okay? I'm just really, really pissed.

It is honour not honor!

We were excused from school today. Mel came over to my place today while the parental units were at work and we blasted the speakers as loud as they would go and played a lot of music in your honor.

It's neighbours not neighbors. Also, it was fun, but you wanted to cry?

All the neighbors were at work so no one complained – it was so fun!!

Overall I think this is an interesting concept, and you have done well, you need to sort out your spellings and gramatical errors, but other than that nice idea

Hey ofi! It's moi!
Thanks for sending me the pm, I will gladly review this piece for you.

What I liked
Okay, there were a few things that I actually liked about this. First of all, I seriously think the whole idea of this, writing letters to your angel boyfriend kinda thing, is seriously awesome. I also like the realism in this format, speaking of which, I don't think I liked it as much in the first one but for some reason it sticks out here and it's like I'm really reading her letter and I can sense her voice through the words

What I think you need to improve
Hmmm. . .
There's still a bit of confusion with her character. I know she's angry, pissed, but loves him nonetheless but I don't get to see much of her pain. When someone you cherish and love passes away, I think it's normal for someone to cry and I wish you put some more of that pain in her letters rather than frustration. Although, I still enjoyed her emotions, I liked her anger, frustration, her forgiveness in the middle part was sweet too.

Well, that's basically all I wanted to mention. Keep writing!

~Pink