I just finished reading the entire thing (chapter 1-6). I do like the story, so keep at it. In my opinion, your first chapter is very gripping and drew me in. Probably your best chapter as well. I wanted to know more about the mysterious girl. I think everyone has pretty much caught everything I wanted to point out on this chapter and the others.
I look forward to reading more of this story! Hopefully in the near future.
Now I think I am off to write my own Vamp. story... haven't tried one yet and this seems like the perfect time to it is a nice 23 outside lol.
If there is one thing in the world I CAN'T stand it is the Redwings.
An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backwards. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that life's going to launch you into something great, so just focus and keep aiming. — Unknown