Khalilzad in 1995 (Chapter five)

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Deleted. Feel free to PM me if you're a former reader wondering why/where it is now. If the mods would rather delete this entirely, feel free. The reviews are sort of nice to look back on now and then as pick me ups though.
Last edited by Pattycakes on Mon Jun 15, 2009 4:00 am, edited 1 time in total.




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Pattycakes!

Oh, goodness, this was another chapter that I thoroughly enjoyed--especially the discussion of African charities and the outline of over-used debate cases. XD It's so true! You never cease to make me crack up at least once every chapter. In my opinion, that's an epic win.

The one thing that I can suggest you look at for this chapter and the previous/future sections, is a space to add in a Tao Character. What's a Tao Character, you might ask? It's kind of like a breath of fresh air in any snarky story--it's the one normal character to balance things out. They're quiet, and often under-appreciated, but they do wonders for making things funnier.

How? Humor is all about contrasts. It's about the one sane person experience a completely bonkers world. But when your main character partakes in that world whole-heartedly, you need a character who can balance that out. It's an opportunity for "outsider jokes", but in a world like high-school-debate, there are more noob jokes than can fit in one book. ^_~ I don't think you shall have a problem. It just takes a little bit to cast a suitable character and stick him/her in, in order to create that necessary contrast.

But ooer! Despite my slowness, I love this story. On to the next chapter!
Graffiti is the most passionate form of literature there is.

- Demetri Martin



Every time I’ve gotten feedback that was hard to take it was usually hard to take because there was truth in it and I didn’t like that (or didn’t want to receive it). That’s not to say all harsh feedback is good or that we should be harsh for harshness’ sake, but learning to absorb truth without letting it break your inner core/break you is a lifelong skill that keeps your mind elastic and open to learning.
— soundofmind