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Young Writers Society


-Melody's Lullaby Chpt. 1 Part 2-



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Tue May 13, 2008 12:41 am
ashleylee says...



Okay, this is the next part. I know, a little longer so let me know if you want me to cut stuff out :D

Otherwise, Have Fun Reading!

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At my locker, I shoved my bag inside before straightening my blue sweater. My dark red hair was wavy down my back, and I immediately had the urge to pull it back into a pony, but I fought that down, and left it as it was. Carly always told me that my hair looked better down, anyway. Wait, I thought, feeling aggravated, Why should I care what Carly thinks?

And, with that, I shoved my hair into a comfortable ponytail. I immediately breathed more comfortably, my neck free of my plaits of hair. So, with my Math Analysis homework in hand and the heavy book it came with, I started for my first class.

The bell rang just as I was sitting in my seat. I looked up to see one of Carly’s blonde friends enter the room. She looked at me with a sneer before placing herself on the opposite side of the room. Soon enough, her other friends joined her, and they all, in turn, looked at me with smirks before whispering, loud enough for me to hear their voices, but quiet enough so that I couldn’t make out what they were saying. I tried to ignore them, taking out my homework just as the teacher entered.

****

The day passed slowly after that, my classes seeming to take longer, and longer as the day went on. Math turned to biology, and I proceeded to place myself beside my partner, Drew Martin. He smiled at me, taking in my form fitting blue sweater and tan cords. “Hey Melody.” He greeted, his smile broadening as he looked into my eyes.

“Hi Drew.” I said, feigning interest. I saw him scoot closer to me and lean over my shoulder.

“Did you get the homework done?” He asked, his smile, which usually made the girls swoon just annoyed me and I nodded. “Can I have it?”

“And why would I do that?” I asked, looking at him with suspicious eyes.

“Come on Melody!” He whined, dull brown eyes pleading.

“Sorry.” I said and stood to turn in my paper.

When I returned, Drew had joined the same slender blonde that had starting the smirking club in math. She looked over at me with a smug smile, but I just beamed back, happy to be rid of him. The girl seemed uncomfortable with my grinning face, and just looked back into Drew’s instead; who was asking her the same question about the homework.

After biology, lunch awaited, and I slouched to my locker where Carly waited, waving at the blonde, whose named I suddenly remembered was Sherry. Then, she greeted me. “How was biology?” My first instinct was to ignore her, after the way she treated me. But, she was my best friend after all. Her only flaw was that she cared too much about what other people thought of her. So, with a sigh, I answered. “Drew was annoying and Sherry, even worse.” I answered insolently, shoving my notebook into my crowded and unorganized locker. “Why do you hang out with them anyway?” I asked as Carly waved at Drew as he passed.

“Because they’re my friends, Mel. Just because you don’t get along with them doesn’t mean-“

“Whatever!” I rolled my eyes. “They’re the ones with the problem with me!”

“Just forget it. Let’s just go to lunch.” Carly said and I smiled in spite of my mood.

Carly…always the diplomat.


At lunch, the cafeteria was already full by the time we arrived, and we quickly skirted into line. Carly immediately plunged into her hour-by-hour preview of the day, and I looked ahead, nodding to let Carly know I was listening without facing her.

Lunch that day was tacos. Carly got milk and a salad while I piled my soft tortillas high with lettuce, tomatoes, and sour cream. “Is that all you’re eating?” I said in disbelief, when I looked at Carly’s pea-sized salad with a dollop of fat-free ranch on top and reading the pink label on her milk that said skim. Carly, immaturely, stuck her tongue out at me. I just shook my head, amused, as Carly led the way to her table; the table filled with her blonde friends, including Sherry with the suave Drew. I closed my eyes, praying for patience, as Drew smiled appreciatively when I sat across from him. Sherry unhappily noticed, quickly bringing his attention back to her by saying. “So Drew, you still having that party?”

He nodded. “Yeah, of course.”

“And I’m still invited, right?” She asked coyly, her eyelashes fluttering. I suddenly felt like gagging.

“Yeah, everybody is.” He said, looking directly at me when he said that, making me look away, embarrassed. Sherry’s eyes narrowed but Carly butted in, sensing the tension and asked. “When is it again?” I turned back to Drew when he replied but something drew my attention away.

Behind him, standing only a few feet away, was a boy who I firstly mistaken as an angel descended from heaven. I felt my chin drop, and quickly closed it, looking away as his eyes searched the lunchroom for a place to sit. I glanced up shyly, and looked at him more closely when I knew for sure that he couldn’t catch me staring.

He had bronze colored hair that was styled casually, sweeping across his forehead as if he had just ran his fingers through it. His skin was a dark tan and he wore a fashionably green polo. His jeans were prematurely worn and faded, sporting a hole in one knee. I gazed at him in wonder at his casual clothing that screamed wealth and success. He looked like a movie star compared to the slightly careless boys around him, dressed in baggy jeans or shorts and fake designer polos.

I saw his eyes sweep the lunchroom again, and we locked gazes. I saw the corner of his mouth turn up slightly, but I looked away too fast to be sure. Then, he was suddenly there, his eyes still looking at me but asking Drew. “Could I sit down?”

I saw Sherry look up in interest, and Carly’s eyes even widened at the sight of him. He seemed to be oblivious to the gawking stares he received, and just smiled friendly at them all. Drew nodded and scooted over and soon, he was sitting in front of me. I suddenly became aware of my mountain of taco sitting before me. When I glanced up, I saw the other girls’ trays filled with little salads or just milk cartons, sitting untouched. I lost my appetite then, and put my fork down, trying not to look across at the boy sitting so close, but it was hard not too. “So, you new?” Said Drew, asking the question everybody was wondering, but too scared to ask.

“Yeah.” The boy said, his voice low and commanding. He had everybody’s attention without even trying. “Moved from Cali just a few days ago.”

“Sweet. Do you do a lot of surfing?” Drew asked, clearing now wanting to know more about him.

“Not a lot but I’ve tried it.”

“Awesome.” Drew said, awed.

The rest of the lunch hour was spent bombarding this kid, whose name I found out was Ethan, everything about California. Throughout it, I didn’t look up once and I was quite proud with myself. But, as I listened to him talk, I slowly lost interest.

Obviously, this boy was just another brainless but good-looking boy. He talked of the place he lived, and the cars he owned, practically bragging as he told us the number he kept in his garage. Nothing intelligent slipped from his lips and I soon found myself bored, his spell-bounding beauty dulling with every word he spoke. I stood abruptly, startling everybody else from the trance he had them in. The boy looked up in surprise and he locked eyes with me again. This time, I was sure that I saw a smile tug at the corner of his mouth. I glanced at Carly with pleading eyes. She nodded, and stood as well, leaving the table with me.

When we were out of earshot, Carly questioned me. “What was that all about?”

“Nothing. What are you talking about?” I said off-handily, playing the
oblivious redhead.

“Okay, just standing up and stomping off is nothing?” She pressed.

“I didn’t stomp. Besides, I couldn’t listen to anymore of the nonsense coming from his mouth.” I explained.

“I wasn’t listening to what was coming from his mouth. I was too busy staring at his face! If you didn’t notice, he’s completely gorgeous!” Carly gushed and I looked at her with surprise. She blushed. “What? It’s the truth.” She mumbled and I snorted.

“Yeah, he’s good looking but, so what?”

“So what?” Carly gasped.

“Just drop it Carly. Let’s get to class.” I replied and Carly giggled.

*Not to be continued...
Last edited by ashleylee on Wed Oct 29, 2008 1:10 am, edited 3 times in total.
"Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love—and to put his trust in life."
~ Joseph Conrad


"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."
~ Red Auerbach
  





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Tue May 13, 2008 12:53 am
TNCowgirl says...



ashleylee wrote:
At my locker, I shoved my bag inside before straightening my blue sweater. My dark red hair was wavy down my back and I immediately had the urge to pull it back into a pony but I fought that down and left it as it was. Carly always told me that my hair looked better down, anyway. Wait, I thought, feeling aggravated, Why should I care what Carly thinks?


Comma before the fan boys.

FOR
AND
NOR

BUT
OR
YET
SO

Also, I put stuff in Italics, thoughts always need to go in italics or some other form.


“And why would I do that?” I wondered, looking at him with suspicious eyes.


I asked, would be better.

When I returned, Drew had joined the same slender blonde that had starting the smirking club in math. She looked over at me with a smug smile but I just beamed back, happy to be rid of him. The girl seemed uncomfortable with my grinning face and just looked back into Drew’s instead; who was asking her the same question about the homework.

Started, not starting. Member, comma before FAN BOYS

After biology, lunch awaited and I slouched to my locker where Carly waited, waving at the blonde, whose named I suddenly remembered was Sherry. Then, she greeted me. “How was biology?” My first instinct was to ignore her, after the way she treated me. But, she was my best friend after all. Her only flaw was that she cared too much about what other people thought of her. So, with a sigh, I answered.

“Drew was annoying and Sherry, even worse.” I answered insolently, shoving my notebook into my crowded and unorganized locker. “Why do you hang out with them anyway?” I asked as Carly waved at Drew as he passed.


name, not named.

I'll get to the rest later.
"And you wonder why we don't like you!" -Trumpkin
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Tue May 13, 2008 1:03 am
ashleylee says...



TNCowgirl:

Thanks for the review. I fixed all of the "FAN BOYS" Stuff and all the others you pointed out.

Hopefully this part is WAY better than the other....hopefully! :wink:

Thanks again for the review!
"Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love—and to put his trust in life."
~ Joseph Conrad


"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."
~ Red Auerbach
  








Defeat has its lessons as well as victory.
— Pat Buchanan