Thanks!
Brittany
Chapter One-
I could feel my heart beat faster. Never had I wanted a moment to freeze exactly where it was, as badly as I did now. His arms curled around me as I moved closer towards him. His head was pressed against mine, and I could hear him breathing in the scent of my hair. I looked up at his face. Two blue eyes looked tenderly back at me, his dark brown hair sweeping across them, but his mind was in deep thought. My heart skipped a beat. It was pathetic how much pain he had caused me, but I still felt safe in his arms. We both didn't say a word, fearing that it would make time start again. Then moment after moment would tick by, slowly bringing a future were he was no longer in my life. My hand clung to his shirt tightly, reassuring myself that he wasn't going to vanish. He was there, and I was afraid to forget how it felt to have him close.
Seconds, minutes ticked by when finally, he broke the silence. "It will be hard for awhile, but we will see each other again. I promise, this won't separate us."
His voice sounded like bells, so reassuring. But the realization was creeping up on me, freezing every inch of my body. Ben was leaving, and I would have to live without him. I wouldn't hear his voice calling me, or see his face in the hallways. I wouldn't be able to press my lips against his, or feel the touch of his hand. It would all be gone, sent and packaged away to Boston. I could feel my head spinning and I felt as if I was going to stumble, but his arms only held me tighter.
"Please Ariel, don't be sad. This isn't goodbye, we'll see each other soon." He whispered, kissing the top of my head. I tried to speak, but I couldn't find my voice. Moments were passing by, seconds turning into minutes, and my time with him was running out. I wanted to tell him that I loved him, that I would miss him when he was gone. But my brain had turned itself off as soon as we entered the airport. Words just seemed so useless, they wouldn't stop the plane from leaving or make Ben's family stay. They just made it harder.
Suddenly, a woman's voice broke into my mind and flooded my ears. 'Flight 596 leaving for Boston is beginning to board. I repeat, Flight 569 is boarding now.' The voice made me shiver. I heard Ben sigh as he started to pull away from me. His expression was heartbreakingly torn as his arms started to unwind and release me. I heard a sob escape my lips, and I surprised myself. Ben froze, took my face in his hands, and kissed me. He pulled away and looked at me.
"Promise me you'll take care of yourself." He said. I didn't trust my voice, I was afraid it would shatter and break, revealing how frail I was. So I nodded instead. His face brightened a little, then he took another step away from me. "I'll call you as soon as I land in Boston." He said, taking more steps. I managed to smile alittle and wave, my eyes never leaving his face. I wanted to remember every single part of it. He waved back and smiled at me before walking away. I counted every step he took before he disappeared into the crowd. Then breathing heavily, I turned to face the exit, and I left my heart in the airport.
Ben's family never seemed to stop moving. I remember one night he receited all the places that he had been to, watching my expression grow increasily amazed. He seemed to like it when he impressed me. I never told him that it scared me whenever he talked about it. There was always a little voice in the back of my head that told me he was going to leave again, but I ignored that voice and pushed it further back into my mind. I hung on the hope that he would tell his father that he was staying behind this time.
The fridgid air hit me like a wall as I stepped outside, taking the breath out of my lungs. I gasped as I hugged myself tighter and searched for a taxi. Car horns and tire screeches rang through the thick air, blocking my ears and making me extremely annoyed. The city was never a place I felt comfortable in, the air always smelt like smoke and burning rubber. Ben hardly ever agreed that I should go to the city because it was too unpredictable. I forced my mind to focus on the streets intently, looking for a hint of yellow among all the gray colours.
Out of the corner of my eye, I found a familar red car pull up beside me. Dread crept up on me like an enemy, freezing my arms by my sides and restraining me from running away. I only watched in horror as he rolled down the window to glare at me. "Get in." My Dad demanded. My legs automatically worked again; they threw themselves clumsily towards the car and into the backseat. My dad sighed heavily, his face was flushed. "I thought I told you that you couldn't go to the airport." He said through clenched teeth. I felt a twinge of annoyance. He said it like I was an object, something to keep under control at all times. Instead, I ignored the anger slowly rising inside me and said nothing. This was not the time to confront him. He sighed again, shifted the car into reverse, and backed out into the street.
It was a very quiet drive home. I felt the silent tension squeeze my insides as my dad fumed in the front seat. He had never liked Ben. Every time I saw him, he would always tell me that I deserved better. Someone smarter, more confident and trustworthy. It hurt me when he talked about him like that, but I glued my lips shut. My dad was a very stubborn man, and easily angered. Well, he wouldn't have to worry about seeing Ben anymore. I felt my heart tug inside my chest. He was probably already 10,000 feet above me, getting farther and farther away- My heart started going into a panic and I was afraid it would explode. I gasped, and breathed deepy, staring intently at the blurring trees outside the window. How was I going to stand this? He had been gone for an hour and I was already anxious. I couldn't imagine the weeks, or months, ahead. I felt like I was falling, drowning, in my own car.
"Ariel?" My dad asked. It brought me back down to earth.
"Yeah?" I said. I looked at his reflection off one of the mirrors. He didn't look as frustrated anymore, but I could tell he was still troubled. "Is he coming back?" he asked. I growled. I knew my dad was counting down the days until Ben finally got on that plane and left. "No, I don't think so." I say with a hint of bitterness in my voice. I glanced at the mirror again, waiting for a broad smile to stretch over his face. According to him, this was the best thing that could have happened for me. But there was no smile. Instead, he looked worried.
The silence was deafening. I could almost hear the gears turning inside my father's head. I spotted a street sign when we reached the next set of lights. Newbury. I groaned. We weren’t even close to home. My dad’s husky voice broke the silence.
"Are..you going to be okay?" He asked, hesitantly.
"I'm sure I'll be fine Dad, don't worry." I lied. We sat like that for awhile as I listened to the roar of the car engine. I closed my eyes and tried to relax by stretching out every muscle I could within the restrictions of my seatbelt. It was like I could feel him getting farther and farther away, each mile was tugging at me relentlessly. His voice echoed in my head, and I saw his face leaning in to kiss me behind my eyelids. His cologne quieted all my thoughts, and made my heart beat unevenly. I wanted to reach out and take his face in my hands, and I almost did, when I remembered I was in a car and not with him. That just made the feeling of drowning crash over me again. I wrapped my arms around my sides. An idea came to me, and I took my cellphone from my pocket and stroked it gently. Please ring. Please call me. I begged.
Finally, the car pulled up to a little house on the side of the road. It's roof was gray and worn, and the windows that rimmed the front glinted in the sunlight. Vines curled and climbed up the sides, looking to eventually swallow the house whole. I always marvelled at the plant’s dedication to remain stuck to my house year after year, living pleasantly through Oakville’s harsh winters. I looked at the outside of the house. The white paint was chipped and cracked along the edges, no doubt the weather’s fault. Growing in the front lawn was a tall and quiet willow tree, it’s tears from the night before refusing to let go of it’s branches. It was beautiful, in a strange, quiet way. It was also my home.
The car noisely huffed as it inched it's way into the driveway. It popped, sighed, and finally stopped. My dad grumbled and got out from the car, opening the door for me. He refused to look at me as we walked into the house, and I knew better to keep my distance as he unlocked the front door. Hoping to avoid any future lectures, I ran up the stairs and into my bedroom as quietly as possible. I shut the door behind me and sat cross legged on my bed, staring at my phone. I couldn't help but wonder if he was missing me too. I smiled. Imagining him agruing with the flight attendants, when they told him to turn off his cellphone, was very easy to do. He would be trying to find a way to call me anyways. I giggled to myself as I dialed. I could hear my dad's heavy footsteps pacing downstairs.
"Hello?" A voice answered. "Hey Natalie!" I said, my spirits lifting.
"Ariel! I was just about to call you. Did you manage to sneek around your old man?" She asked humorously. I sighed. My father's reaction almost made me wish that I didn't. Almost.
"Yes, but I had to call a taxi and sneek out the back door. " I say dramatically.
"So you got away with it?"
"Of course not. My dad caught up with me at the airport." I scowled. "I knew he would call Ben's parents."
"Your dead." She giggles.
I laughed along. It sounded fake coming out of my mouth.
"So what’s going on with you and Ben anyway? I thought he was going to talk to his dad." She says. I could tell from her voice that she chose her words carefully. "Ben’s father is-"I paused to try and think of a word to summarize that man. He was a tower, powerful and forceful. He reminded me alot of my dad, except my father had a soft side. Mr.Turner was a rock.
"-stubborn." I decided. Natalie sighed sympathically. "I'm so sorry. That must be hard, a long distance relationship. This is all so strange." I nodded. A year together didn't seem like a long time now, but already I couldn't imagine my life without him.
Suddenly, I realized that he would be trying to call me right now, but I was holding up the phone with Natalie. I quickly made up an excuse that I had to leave, and I noted the suspicion in Natalie's voice as we hung up. I lay on my back, placing the phone beside me. My heart leapt whenever I heard the slightest noise, thinking at first that it was ringing. Living in an old house didn't help, it creaked and swayed with the slightest breeze. Time had never moved slower. I glanced at my clock, thinking it had been ten minutes when it had only been five. My mind was tricking me, as if it was playing some kind of game. I sighed and waited.
I looked out the window. The sun was setting, as different shades of red and purple danced across the sky. I heard the birds sing, and the squirrels bicker in the trees, careless and loud. It was getting late, and still no call. My breathing became fast and that feeling of loneliness crept up my spine. My first thought had jumped right to the worst case scenerio, the plane had crashed. In a moment of panic, I switched on my TV and hastily turned to the News. After twenty minutes of hearing nothing, I smiled nervously and wondered if I was going crazy.
I distracted myself by trying to clean my room. I picked up a green shirt that was thrown over my doorhandle, straightened out the posters of My Chemical Romance and The Killers, flattened out all the wrinkles in my bed sheets...-and then the phone rang. Like a lion stalking its prey, I leapt and snatched my cellphone from my bed. "Hello?" I answered breathlessly. "Hey Ariel." Ben said. His voice was tired and strained. I smiled. "How was the flight?" I asked. I already knew the answer.
"Horrible. I will never fly on a plane again.” He vowed. “The flight attendants never stopped staring at me." I laughed, for the first time today. He laughed with me. "The weather here sucks. The sky is pretty black, probably because of all the smoke in the air." I could picture his nose crinkling in disgust. Ben was a tree hugger. Many times when he came over, I would always see his eye flicker to my trash can, no doubt tempted to jump in and separate the recyclables from the non-recyclables. My house always seemed cleaner when he left.
"I miss you." I blurted out. I almost kicked myself. Instead of trying at a smoother approach, my words come out awkward and jumbled, as if I was a new born baby trying to speak. There was an agonizingly long pause on the other end of the phone."I miss you too Air, it's not the same without you." He says finally. His voice is unsure and fragile.
"I'll come to visit you soon."
"How about right now?" I say with a new force of desperation in my voice. I hope that he notices it. Instead, he chuckles. "If I could, I would sweetie. I have to go, I'll give you a call tomorrow." My heart drops, disappointed. "Sure." I say quietly. "Bye Air- I love you." Did he just hesitate? "I love you too. Bye Ben." I hung up the phone. After a moment, I forced my mind to go blank so that I could ignore the fact that something was wrong. Something had changed, for the better or worse I couldn't say.
For awhile I lay on my bed, focusing on removing every thought from my mind. Its a strange feeling holding back all of your emotions, like building a wall to hold back a raging river. However, I felt noticeably better when I couldn't feel anything. Putting on a smile, I left my room and went down the stairs. Pieces of conversation floated to my ears, and I recognized my dad's and brother's voices. I looked upwards and saw them squaring off in the living room, glaring at each other.
"You don’t know-"
"Drank too much-"
"-doing with your life." I stopped in the middle of the stairs, watching them. Dad's face went bright red as he took a threatening step towards Greg. I looked at my brother. His face was hard as he stood leaning forward, challenging my Dad to come closer. I rolled my eyes and took another step down the stairs. I was met with two furious stares as both heads whipped in my direction, but they softened quickly. Greg relaxed his posture and sat on the couch. Dad's brow was still furrowed, but I saw him breathe a sigh of relief.
"Hey Air." I smiled back at him, but I gave a curious look to Greg. He shrugged it off and sank deeper into the couch. I sat beside him.
Tension swarmed the room, slowly choking us until I could stand it no longer. I hadn’t forgotten my lecture."Dad, I was thinking about having Natalie over tomorrow, is that okay?" I asked. Dad's mouth curled into a shapely frown again, and I found myself instantly regretting I said anything.
"You missy, are very lucky I'm letting you even come downstairs. After I told you over a million times that I didn't want you going to the airport, you sneak out of my house and call a taxi?" His voice rose with every word he said. I shrank back until Greg and I were at the same level.
"You knew I didn't like him, that I thought there was something strange about him. But I kept my mouth shut whenever you brought him into my house-" He took a deep breath and regained himself. I could hear my heart smashing inside my chest. Greg froze beside me, I could tell he wanted to get involved. I tapped my foot against his and shook my head slightly. Greg looked at me in disbelief for a second or two, but then sighed and stared at his feet. Dad looked tormented. His eyes shifted nervously between us, probably wondering who to deal with first. I wondered what Greg could have done to be on the same boat as I was. That’s when I realized how horrible he looked. His hair, greasy and unkept, swept across his face. His brows seemed to be frozen in place, making temporary creases along his forehead. I noticed he hadn't shaved either, like he did every morning. Where had he been? Greg's eyes twitched curiously to mine, and I looked away quickly, embarrassed. I couldn’t ask him now, not with living, breathing hurricane standing right in front of us.
“Greg! Get upstairs, I need to talk with your sister.”
“Dad, don’t-“
“Upstairs Gregory!” Dad thundered. Greg shrugged, defeated, and left us alone.
I took a piece of my brown hair and started to twirl it around my finger, a nervous habit. I wondered what the worst he could do would be. Ground me for life, possibly. Ben and Natalie would have to hang out at my house for awhile, but I could live with that. I just hated seeing him so angry at me. He crossed his arms nervously and looked at the wall. “I’m not letting you see Ben anymore Ariel.” I shook my head in disbelief. “What?” I asked.
“You stay away from him, he’s no good for you.” He says, his voice harsh and rough.
“Excuse me?” I say, my voice nearing hysteria.
“You heard me. I’m sorry, but I can’t let him do this to you. He just left you alone, with just a week’s notice!” He yelled, his face growing hot. “Dad, his parents told him two weeks before! He was afraid of hurting me!” I screamed at him. Tears stung my eyes and I forced them back. He was not winning this one, that’s for sure.
“He is going to come for me! His family said he could fly back to see me whenever he wanted, and that’s his decision, not yours. You can’t be in control of everyone!”
Dad’s face grew darker. “We’ll see about that.” He muttered. “But until then, I don’t want you phoning him. Forget about him, there are so many other boys who are much better for you.”
I hate him. I can’t hold back the tears anymore, and they come streaming down my cheeks. My vision clears again, and my dad is watching me. His eyes are sad, but his face is like stone. He won’t change his mind. I want to tell him how much I hate him, but I don’t trust my voice to keep from breaking. I scream in frustration and run up the stairs, anxious to be alone. I slam the door shut and the house is silent for a moment. My stomach is knotted, and my mind is repeating Dad’s words over and over again. Forget about him, there are so many other boys who are much better for you.
I staggered over to my window and looked outside. The clouds were broken apart, and the sun poured out from between them, creating a thin veil of light floating from the sky. It looked so beautiful, a ray of colour against the bleak gray. I opened my window and climbed out onto my roof. The breeze welcomed me, cooling my face and drying my tears. The musky smell of rain and pine trees filled my lungs, and I suddenly felt clean and fresh. I let my mind wander, as I counted aimlessly the trees that lined my street. I came up with twenty before my eyesight restrained me from telling one tree from the next, and I rushed to find something else to fill my thoughts with.
That’s when I heard a bang behind me. I turned my head to see Greg halfway through my window, tumbling his way out to join me. Ah, the perfect distraction. I heard him curse several times under his breath, and I smirked. I guessed he was aiming for a more silent approach.
“God dammit Air, how can you fit through this?” He says, frowning.
“It’s a normally sized window Greg, it’s not made for giants to fit through.” I say plainly. He groans in response, gives his last leg a pull through, and sinks down beside me. “Next time, I’ll just use a ladder.” He mumbles to himself. I can’t help but smiling at him. “So, what are you doing on my roof?” I ask him. Greg pulls his knees to his chest and locks them in place with his arms. “I just came up to see if you were okay; I knew he was going to do that.” He sighed. “To let you know, I did try to talk him out of it.” We gave each other knowing glances. Reasoning with Dad was like trying to convince a shark to walk on land.
“Thanks Greg, but don’t worry. Dad can’t stop Ben from coming to see me. He told me he’s flying down sometime next week.” I said, relief flooding through me. Yes, Dad couldn’t control everything. We would still be able to see each other, even if I had to sneak out every night. Greg just nods; and I feel a twinge of annoyance at his lack of enthusiasm. There is a moment of silence between us, but thankfully Greg breaks it. “Ariel?” He asks.
“Yeah?”
“Be careful with Ben. He’s not as perfect as he seems.”
Suddenly I liked the silence better. My eyes narrow, and I start to recount the trees in my head.
“I’m serious.” He says.
“Oh, I’m sure you are.” I sneer back.
The wind blew my hair from my face and thrashed it around wildly around me. The sky was angry now; dark clouds ran on the horizon. They threatened to unleash a storm, but all I want is to be wrapped in my warm bed. But I knew Greg wouldn't let me go just yet.
“He’s a player Air, I’ve seen his other girlfriends. He dates them for awhile, but then leaves them like a piece of trash. I have never seen him make a commitment to one girl before.” His voice lowers. “Don’t expect a hero from him.”
I shake his words from my mind, they're poisonous. I know Ben better than he does, they’ve all got him wrong.
“I know.” I say. Don’t hold your breath Greg. Your not changing my mind on him.
“Good.” He said, a triumphant smile spread over his face. “Just be careful with him, that’s all I’m saying. If he does anything-“ He smashes a fist against his outstretch palm. I laugh. It’s funny to watch Greg pretend he’s tough. We say goodnight, and he tries again to squeeze his way through my tiny window. When he’s gone, I feel frozen in my spot. The wind sends chills down my spine, but my shiver has nothing to do with the cold.
Gender:
Points: 300
Reviews: 0