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Keri's Love Chapter Two Part Three



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Fri Apr 11, 2008 1:10 am
TNCowgirl says...



***This is where part three is HERE***


*~*~*~*Thank y'all for putting up with this so far. *~*~*~*

“Let me think, this is my last year here, I have to go back to Benton, Tennessee to my parents farm to help them out after I’m done. And after that who knows where I’m going. What about you?” She asked. The waitress brought their drinks and then left flashing Ryder a flirtatious smile. He just looked at Keri. Keri sipped her drink smiling a little.

“Well, let me think. I have a little sister, and my dad. That’s the only family that I have left. At the moment me and my dad are disagreeing on a few things so I left to visit old friends.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I have a ranch of my own down in Texas where I raise cattle and bred horses.”

“How long are you going to be down here?” She asked looking up at him.

“I’m not sure, I’ll probably go visit some other friends and hope that my dad can see my side of the story.” He sighed, “I doubt he will though.”

“What are you arguing about, if you don’t mind my askin’.” She leaned back and looked at him studying his face. From his strong jaw line, to his eyes. She could stare into them all day and not be bored, they didn’t show much, but they were beautiful. She would do anything to be able to draw them. Faces were the only thing she could draw, but to capture his would be near impossible. It just wouldn’t do him justice. He stopped talking and she realized she hadn’t heard a word of what he had said.

“So, are you looking forward to going back to your parents place?” He asked looking at her with a smile. She chewed her lip, after last night she was ready to leave today. She knew that probably wasn’t going to be such a good idea, but she wanted away from anywhere that those wolves might be. She still couldn’t understand why they had done that. As if to scare her. She shivered and looked at her drink.

“I want to go back. Not for forever, but I want to help them out. I was contemplating going back earlier then planned, I’m not sure.” She didn’t know why she was telling this to him, but she felt comfortable around him. She felt like she could tell him anything and he wouldn’t judge her or tell anyone unless she wanted.

“Why would you go back? You have school to finish here, don’t you?” He asked looking at her intently, like he cared and wanted to help her.

“I’m not sure, I’ve had an interesting encounter that seems to be a sign that I need to go back.” She shrugged; he would think her crazy if she told him what happened. She felt herself shiver again as a image of the red wolf popped into her mind. She would do anything to keep from seeing that wolf again. “Now, new topic. Have you ever heard of wolves around here?”
*~*~*~*

Ryder had known this was coming, sooner or later she had to say something about it. But he had thought she would just leave it at the encounter part. She didn’t know he knew about it and for anyone else it would be a change of subject. “I’ve heard there were some around, but that they never hurt anyone or even approached them.” He replied, a frown flashed across her face before she put her smile back on. She shivered again and he frowned, “Are you cold?”

“No, why would you think so?” She asked looking at him.

“Your shivering, that was the third time.” He said, he pulled his jacket off and stood up. “Here, you can wear this.” He put it over her shoulders then sat back down. He saw her pull it tight around her shoulders when she thought he wasn’t looking.

“Thanks.” She muttered sipping her drink again. He cradled his in his hands keeping his hands warm. He took a sip and nearly burned his tongue. He put the drink down sighing. “So, I know your name is Ryder, that your not getting along to well with your dad at the moment, and that you are with a friend. You have a sister, younger I think, and you usually live on a ranch. Something tells me there is more to you then your letting on.”

“There might be, but your not letting on to everything either.” He leaned forward and smiled, “This is your last year in college, your going back to Benton, Tennessee to help your parents on their farm and you are an only child. You don’t drink, and you’re a wonderful dancer. Your not sure what you are going to do after you help your parents, and you’re a pretty cool girl.” A blush spread across her face and she looked down at her cup. He didn’t think she expected him to have listened to a word she said.

“Alright,” She laughed looking up. “You never told me what you planned on doing with your life. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but what about you? You can’t just wonder around all the time.”

“No, I can’t,” He leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest looking at her. She had a strong, yet feminen jaw line. Her lips were plump and soft looking. She normally kept them closed in a half smile half frown. He looked into her green eyes and sighed, “I think I’m going to try and start a ranch or something of my own. Raise horses, I’m not as big on the cattle as my dad is. I think they are good to eat, but that is about it. They are annoying creatures, half the time you have to chase them to catch them. Horses listen better too and are just better all around. I think I’ve had horse meat once, never again will I eat it. I wasn’t a fan in the least.”

“I wouldn’t try horse if you paid me a million bucks.” She said frowning. “I like them way to much.”

“You work with horses?” He uncrossed his arms and leaned forward again. This girl was getting more and more enticing by the minute. She nodded and a smile lit up her face. She put her drink down and folded her hands on the table.

“I’ve had a horse every sense I could ride. I was riding before I was walking. Dad made a gadget that kept me on the saddle, then they put me on the best pony they had so it wouldn’t throw me.” She ran a hand through her black hair and her smile got bigger. “I have a Rocky Mountain Quarter Horse mix. He is beautiful, I have him stabled at a barn a few miles from here. I got to raise him and everything. One of the bigger barns in my parents areas breed him with one of my dad’s mares and they actually ended up getting twins. Surprisingly both lived and they let us keep one. Dad didn’t have any use for him and said it was too good of a horse to just sell. So I raised and trained him. He is the best horse ever.”

“What did you train him in?” Ryder asked hoping she said something other then dressage or any of the other English events.

“I barrel raced him, I don’t anymore. He isn’t but six, but I had school so he is just a pleasure ride. He’s my only horse and he is a blast. I might train horses after college, that is one of the things that I’ve always wanted to do, but I’ve never had the place to do it. My parents always said that I could do it at their place, but I’m not sure I want to. I mean I was rasied there and I know they just want me close, but I want to see what I can do with myself.” He noticed her eyes really lit up when she talked about the horses, they were beautiful.

Your latched. A voice hissed in his head. He breathed in trying to clear his head of the voice and a shiver ran down his spine. There was a vampire around somewhere. His eyes darted around the room and saw a guy walking towards them. He growled inwardly, if this vampire was going to give them any trouble he was going to have a problem.

“Hey, Keri.” The vampire nearly hissed, but seemed to keep his voice calm. “Whose this?” He demanded crossing his arms and looking at Ryder with a glare. Their eyes met and Ryder’s challenged him to try anything.
"And you wonder why we don't like you!" -Trumpkin
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Fri Apr 11, 2008 7:38 pm
day tripper says...



Ohhhh i like it(:
It's very unique.
I didn't expect them to be into Horses, especially Ryder.
Since he's a wolf and all...
haha

But I love how she talked about them.
And then at the end when her friend walked in that's a vampire. It was great!

You had a few spellin errors, so I suggest you go back and click 'spell check'
before posting, but other than that, it was great!
A little less inhuman.
A little more brutal.
Let the blood be your drug.
  





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Sat Apr 12, 2008 9:45 am
mizz-iceberg says...



Ooohhh, here it is!
Wow.
this just keeps getting better and better =P!

“What are you arguing about, if you don’t mind my askin’.” She leaned back and looked at him studying his face. From his strong jaw line, to his eyes. She could stare into them all day and not be bored, they didn’t show much, but they were beautiful. She would do anything to be able to draw them. Faces were the only thing she could draw, but to capture his would be near impossible. It just wouldn’t do him justice. He stopped talking and she realized she hadn’t heard a word of what he had said.


This is entirely my opinion and you don't have to follow this one. But it just bothered me that she asked such an important question and I found myself leaning in chair, wondering how he's going to answer it, it turn out she didn't even listen. lol. It just for some reason really bothered me because I was sooo curious.
Your shivering, that was the third time.” He said, he pulled his jacket off and stood up.


- You need to put an an apostrophe in there.. You're *

“Thanks.” She muttered sipping her drink again. He cradled his in his hands keeping his hands warm. He took a sip and nearly burned his tongue. He put the drink down sighing. “So, I know your name is Ryder, that your not getting along to well with your dad at the moment, and that you are with a friend. You have a sister, younger I think, and you usually live on a ranch. Something tells me there is more to you then your letting on.”



-Hit enter after 'sighing'. Give some more space before Kerri stars talking again, otherwise it gets confusing...

-forgot the apostrophe again

- Too* not to

- you're *

“There might be, but your not letting on to everything either.” He leaned forward and smiled, “This is your last year in college, your going back to Benton, Tennessee to help your parents on their farm and you are an only child. You don’t drink, and you’re a wonderful dancer. Your not sure what you are going to do after you help your parents, and you’re a pretty cool girl.”


-You're
-You're
-You're

I don’t know what I’m going to do, but what about you? You can’t just wonder around all the time.”


I might actually be wrong but I think you mean 'wander* around' not wonder.

Raise horses, I’m not as big on the cattle as my dad is. I think they are good to eat, but that is about it.


Nothing wrong with this, I just found it funny! :D

He noticed her eyes really lit up when she talked about the horses, they were beautiful.


What are beautiful? Her eyes or horses? Lol. you might want to work that out.

Your latched. A voice hissed in his head.


-You're. Also I think you should put 'You're Latched' in Italics.

Whose this?” He demanded,* crossing his arms and looking at Ryder with a glare. Their eyes met and Ryder’s challenged him to try anything.


-Wrong whose here. It's supposed to be 'Who's'.
- * notice I've put a comma beside demanded. This was an extremely important comma, because otherwise it kind of sounds like the Vampire is demanding crossing arms... which doesn't really make sense.



Great job again!!! I'm waiting patiently for the next part.
Another thing, I also like how you always end you chapters with the reader hooked! That as an extremely good trick!!!

Good luck editing!
I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.
--Ellen DeGeneres
  





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Gender: Female
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Reviews: 110
Sat Apr 12, 2008 5:53 pm
TNCowgirl says...



Thanks a million. It might be a while before I can redo it though. :'(. But you don't understand how much of a help you've all been. :D
"And you wonder why we don't like you!" -Trumpkin
.
.
Vist my world and make it bigger!
Want a Readers crit???
  








“Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?”
— L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables