Young Writers Society

[pre] Eighteen years had passed from that day. Sophitia as Cynthia had named her grew up into a strong child. Full of will and hope with the help of her mother’s love. Cynthia treated her as her own. She raised the feral and taught her how to read and write. Taught her not to resent her owner’s for they were too naïve to know their wrongs. Magda kept Sophitia locked in the attic along with the dust encrusted crates. The forgotten treasures were her only friends. They told stories of far away lands. Sophitia read the books, from the attic, every chance she got. Once, Magda caught her reading. She scolded her. Told her she would disgrace the literature. Magda threw the book into the flames. She held Sophitia back as she whimpered for the book. After that she only read them when Magda was asleep. She would stay awake for hours and read by candle light. Her fox eyes adapted to the darkness making her able to be lost in the stories. They took her to a better place, and showed her what living really is.


Little did Magda know, her son was fascinated by Sophitia from the first time he laid eyes on her. Dallas grew attached to her quickly and they became friends. Whenever his mother went to town he would stay behind. He would climb the attic stairs and sit with the feral. Dallas wasn’t afraid of her he was sorry for her. Here he was able to do anything he wished. While Sophitia stayed locked up all her life, he enjoyed the outside world. She had never smelled the roses bloom or heard the birds, He would change that. Dallas would show her the world. He would show her how to live. He had to get her out of here before Magda crushed any hope of a life.


Sophitia awoke to arguing. She got out of bed and crawled to the peak hole she had made many nights before. Below you could see Magda yelling at Cynthia. Cynthia was beginning to show. She was pregnant again. This time by a feral man, an outcast of society. She had sealed her fate. Magda opened the door and shoved her out.
“Get out of my house you ****. You’ll never see Sophitia again. The first chance I get I’m selling her for research!”


“Please mam don’t,” Cynthia pleaded.



Sophitia had heard it all. She lay there shocked at the words. What was research? What would they do to her these people. She had to get out…Had to leave soon before her fate was sealed. [/pre]

Hey!

Alright, so I have a few things to say about this part.

First and foremost, I am enjoying this story so far. It is very early on but I am already appreciating the storyline. In the near future try to develop the character more. Show us who they actually are and not just what kind of person they are. I hope that makes sense to you.

Also, I would try to lean toward smaller paragraphs in the future.

One plot detail, how does Sophitia not know what research is when she has read a lot. I suppose that it could be something that has she has overlooked, but it struck me as odd when I read it.

Good luck with the rest of the story!