Young Writers Society

Chapter Two

My heart raced as I rode into town. Robin Hood, I had met The Robin Hood. A smile spread across my face at the thought that he had touched me, helped me. He knew my name, he had called me pretty.

What were the odds? I had gone for my normal ride, and yet, I had met Robin. Robin of the Hood, the famous outlaw. I quickly got off Nightshade, placing him in the stables and unsaddling him. I could hear the door open as soon as I approached it. I gulped hearing my mother scold me about being late.

“Mother! I have to tell you something!” I said quickly, hurrying into the house. “But mother, come inside. It’s for your ears only, if anyone else hears…we may get in trouble.”

My mother sighed. “What did you do now Ivy?”

“I didn’t do anything, well, I did…” I lowered my voice to a whisper. “I met Robin Hood.”

My mother let out a gasp and I could tell her eyes were widening with the simple thought. “Are you out of your mind girl? Where? When? How?” she asked in disbelief.

“When I went riding, I just kind of stumbled across him, more he stumbled across me.” I giggled excitedly, when had I ever been this excited? I didn’t think I ever had been as excited as I was that day. “Mother he is so kind, he wanted to escort me home, but when found out I lived in Nottingham he was going to send Will-”

“Who’s Will?”

“One of his men I suppose, another outlaw friend.” My mother breathed in and out slowly, taking in deep breaths.

“Mother?” I asked. “Are you okay?”

“Ivy, listen to me,” she said in a hushed whisper. “Don’t ever, ever go back into those woods, do you understand me?”

“But why-”

“Ivy, don’t you see? They’re outlaws, yes they are good people, but they have prices on their heads. If you were to be seen with them, who knows what would happen to you, to us?” I could hear the tears behind my mother’s voice and before I knew it I felt a fat juicy plop land my hand.

“Mother, I can’t stay away. I want to be with them, I want to be a hero like them. Please just let me go in the woods again.”

“No!” My mother raised her voice, then she lowered it once more, gripping my hand in her own slender fingers. “Please Ivy, promise me.”

I bit my lip, glancing at the door. I shook my head in reply. “I can’t mother. I can’t stay away. Its what I’ve always dreamed of, and I’ll do whatever it takes to have it. I won’t get married and end up an old maid. I just won’t!” I cried, snatching my hands away from her and running into the small room which held my bed. Tears filled the blanket. I had to have my dream, I knew it was a risk, but I knew how to find Robin now, and I knew I had to find him.

* * * *

When the birds first sang the waking call through the village, I put on my dark, ivy green cloak and went outside, saddling up Nightshade once again. I strapped on a small pack with bread and water, just in case I needed it. Me being blind, it would be hard to find the actual camp of Robin Hood, but perhaps I would stumble across him or one of his men again.

Will they take a girl into their camp? I wondered. Of course they will, some of his men must have their wives and children living with them. I kicked Nightshade gently, and trotted off down the road.

The first calls of morning made a smile form across my lips. I had never ridden through the woods this early in the morning, but I wish I had. In my mind I picture mist lying on the blanket of newly fallen leaves and birds flying from treetop to treetop. I could hear the rustling of animals in the brush and the chatterings of squirrels up high in the trees.

“There, you go to her left, I’ll go to her right,” a sudden whispering made me stop. I sat there for a moment, listening, but the whispering had stopped as soon as I had.

“Hello?” I called quietly. “Robin? Its Ivy, is that you?” I said it casually, as if we had been friends forever instead of mere acquaintances, one who was fascinated with the other, while the other held no interest at all.

“She knows Robin?” The whispers started again, one ringing with an Irish accent.

“I don’t know, should we go find him and ask him ourselves? Or should we bring her to camp?”

“Are you crazy? Robin is out busying himself with thievery, and you want to bring her to the camp? You realize we would have to let her stay forever if we did that. I mean, she can’t leave, it would put us all in danger.”

“I may be blind, but I can still hear you,” I giggled. “I could hear you from a mile away.”

The whispers ceased once more and were replaced with footsteps. I gripped the reigns tightly. I looked every which way, a pair of footsteps were coming from my left, and the other on my right. “I can hear you walking too,” I said, and they stopped. “I just want…” I paused, taking in a deep breath. “I just want to join Robin Hood.”

I heard the snickers before they told me what I had hoped I wouldn’t hear. “You? Join us? A woman?”

“A blind one no less,” the Irish voice said. “We are outlaws ma’am, you cannot join us.”

“I’m sure that women are in your camp,” I said hotly.

“Well yes, but they are our wives and children. No woman would be hung, or outlawed. I can assure you, so why don’t you just head back home to where you came from?”

I bit my lip and felt the tears coming, but I quickly stopped them. “You don’t understand, I don’t have anywhere to go.”

“What are you an orphan?”

I looked down. “No,” I mumbled.

“Then you have a home. So go there, and stay there. What’s your name? Ilie?”

“Its Ivy,” I growled. “Come on Nightshade, let’s leave these thieves alone.”

“Thank you milady, but I will tell Robin you came along. I’m sure he’d be interested, not that he’ll remember you.”

“I met him yesterday,” I replied. “I would think he would remember me.”

The Irish man laughed. “I think the only woman he would ever remember is the fair Maiden Marian, you have no chance milady.”

“You think I was looking for him as a husband?” I asked, aghast. “I would do no such thing! I just…idolize him, that’s all,” I said quietly. We sat there in silence for a moment, me holding the tears back as best as I could while the men held back their laughter. “Now goodbye,” I finally said and sent Nightshade into a quick gallop, leaving Sherwood Forest behind and entering the now bustling village of Nottingham.

I am really enjoying reading this. If I was any good with editing, I would give a real review, but since I am not, I will give my humble opinion. I love the story idea. I feel like I understand Ivy even though I have no idea how it feels to be blind. I was slightly confused about why Ivy said she had no where to go. Was it only because she wanted them to take her into their camp, or because she had run away and was afraid her mother wouldn't accept her anymore?

Hi, Forestqueen808! This was as good as the first chapter, if a little short!

My critiques:
*You say '[quote“Mother, I can’t stay away. I want to be with them, I want to be a hero like them.][/quote] I think you should make the realization a little more extreme. Ivy just decided she can't stay away. Did it make her excited? A little scared? How does she feel about this?
*You spelling and grammar seem perfect.
*I think you could make the ending a little more deep. Ivy just got rejected. Is she crying? Is she fiercely determined? Did she bury her face in Nightshade's mane? What is she feeling? What's running through her head?
*Wonderful.
*Keep writing.

My heart raced as I rode into town. Robin Hood, I had met The Robin Hood. A smile spread across my face at the thought that he had touched me, helped me. He knew my name, he had called me pretty.

My heart was racing as I rode into town. Robin Hood! I had met Robin Hood! A smile pulled back my lips at the though that he had been near me. Robin Hood knew my name, and had called me pretty.

Does that maybe sound a little better to you?

What were the odds? I had gone for my normal ride, and yet, I had met Robin. Robin of the Hood, the famous outlaw. I quickly got off Nightshade, placing him in the stables and unsaddling him. I could hear the door open as soon as I approached it. I gulped hearing my mother scold me about being late.

What were the odds? I had gone out for my normal ride, and met Robin of the Hood, the famous outlaw. I quickly dismounted Nightshade and led him into the stables where I unsaddled him. I could hear the wooden stable doors open with a creak, and I gulped, bracing myself for my mother’s scolding about being late.

“Mother! I have to tell you something!” I said quickly, hurrying into the house. “But mother, come inside. It’s for your ears only, if anyone else hears…we may get in trouble.”

My mother sighed. “What did you do now Ivy?”

My mother sighed heavily, “What did you do now, Ivy?”

“I didn’t do anything, well, I did…” I lowered my voice to a whisper. “I met Robin Hood.”

My mother let out a gasp and I could tell her eyes were widening with the simple thought. “Are you out of your mind girl? Where? When? How?” she asked in disbelief.

“When I went riding, I just kind of stumbled across him, more he stumbled across me.” I giggled excitedly, when had I ever been this excited? I didn’t think I ever had been as excited as I was that day. “Mother he is so kind, he wanted to escort me home, but when found out I lived in Nottingham he was going to send Will-”

“Who’s Will?”

“One of his men I suppose, another outlaw friend.” My mother breathed in and out slowly, taking in deep breaths.

Maybe instead you could say, ’My mother was breathing in and out loudly.’

“Mother?” I asked. “Are you okay?”

“Ivy, listen to me,” she said in a hushed whisper. “Don’t ever, ever go back into those woods, do you understand me?”

“But why-”

“Ivy, don’t you see? They’re outlaws, yes they are good people, but they have prices on their heads. If you were to be seen with them, who knows what would happen to you, to us?” I could hear the tears behind my mother’s voice and before I knew it I felt a fat juicy plop land my hand.

Do you mean her tear landed on your hand? That was unclear to me. I would leave all of that out and just say you could hear tears behind her voice.

“Mother, I can’t stay away. I want to be with them, I want to be a hero like them. Please just let me go in the woods again.”

“No!” My mother raised her voice, then she lowered it once more, gripping my hand in her own slender fingers. “Please Ivy, promise me.”

I bit my lip, glancing at the door. I shook my head in reply. “I can’t mother. I can’t stay away. Its what I’ve always dreamed of, and I’ll do whatever it takes to have it. I won’t get married and end up an old maid. I just won’t!” I cried, snatching my hands away from her and running into the small room which held my bed. Tears filled the blanket. I had to have my dream, I knew it was a risk, but I knew how to find Robin now, and I knew I had to find him.

I bit my lip, and shook my head in reply.

“I can’t, mother. I can’t stay away. It’s what I’ve always dreamed of, and I’ll do whatever it takes to have it! I won’t get married and end up an old maid, I just won’t!”

I snatched my hands away from hers and ran into the small room which held my bed. I cried into the blanket, sobbing heavily. I knew it was a risk, but I couldn’t pull myself away. I knew how to find Robin, and I was going to go to him.

* * * *

When the birds first sang the waking call through the village, I put on my dark, ivy green cloak and went outside, saddling up Nightshade once again. I strapped on a small pack with bread and water, just in case I needed it. Me being blind, it would be hard to find the actual camp of Robin Hood, but perhaps I would stumble across him or one of his men again.

When the birds first sang the waking call of morning through the village, I put on my dark ivy-green cloak and went to the stables, saddling up Nightshade once again. I carried along with me a small pack with bread and water, just in case I needed it. I imagined it would be hard to find the actual camp of Robin Hood, but I had high hopes that I would stumble across him or one of his men again.

I really thought you should take out the ‘me being blind’ part.

Will they take a girl into their camp? I wondered. Of course they will, some of his men must have their wives and children living with them. I kicked Nightshade gently, and trotted off down the road.

I didn’t think any of this paragraph was really necessary. Personally, I would get rid of it.

The first calls of morning made a smile form across my lips. I had never ridden through the woods this early in the morning, but I wish I had. In my mind I picture mist lying on the blanket of newly fallen leaves and birds flying from treetop to treetop. I could hear the rustling of animals in the brush and the chatterings of squirrels up high in the trees.

Since she’s always been blind, I don’t think she would be able to imagine any of this, especially mist since it has no feel, sound, or even odor.

“There, you go to her left, I’ll go to her right,” a sudden whispering made me stop. I sat there for a moment, listening, but the whispering had stopped as soon as I had.

“Hello?” I called quietly. “Robin? Its Ivy, is that you?” I said it casually, as if we had been friends forever instead of mere acquaintances, one who was fascinated with the other, while the other held no interest at all.

“She knows Robin?” The whispers started again, one ringing with an Irish accent.

“I don’t know, should we go find him and ask him ourselves? Or should we bring her to camp?”

“Are you crazy? Robin is out busying himself with thievery, and you want to bring her to the camp? You realize we would have to let her stay forever if we did that. I mean, she can’t leave, it would put us all in danger.”

“I may be blind, but I can still hear you,” I giggled. “I could hear you from a mile away.”

The whispers ceased once more and were replaced with footsteps. I gripped the reigns tightly. I looked every which way, a pair of footsteps were coming from my left, and the other on my right. “I can hear you walking too,” I said, and they stopped. “I just want…” I paused, taking in a deep breath. “I just want to join Robin Hood.”

I heard the snickers before they told me what I had hoped I wouldn’t hear. “You? Join us? A woman?”

“A blind one no less,” the Irish voice said. “We are outlaws ma’am, you cannot join us.”

“I’m sure that women are in your camp,” I said hotly.

“Well yes, but they are our wives and children. No woman would be hung, or outlawed. I can assure you, so why don’t you just head back home to where you came from?”

I bit my lip and felt the tears coming, but I quickly stopped them. “You don’t understand, I don’t have anywhere to go.”

“What are you an orphan?”

I looked down. “No,” I mumbled.

“Then you have a home. So go there, and stay there. What’s your name? Ilie?”

“Its Ivy,” I growled. “Come on Nightshade, let’s leave these thieves alone.”

“Thank you milady, but I will tell Robin you came along. I’m sure he’d be interested, not that he’ll remember you.”

“I met him yesterday,” I replied. “I would think he would remember me.”

The Irish man laughed. “I think the only woman he would ever remember is the fair Maiden Marian, you have no chance milady.”

“You think I was looking for him as a husband?” I asked, aghast. “I would do no such thing! I just…idolize him, that’s all,” I said quietly. We sat there in silence for a moment, me holding the tears back as best as I could while the men held back their laughter. “Now goodbye,” I finally said and sent Nightshade into a quick gallop, leaving Sherwood Forest behind and entering the now bustling village of Nottingham.



Your second chapter was great, too! The men kind of lacked personality, though. Just typical thief attitude, I guess. And I thought that Ivy would be a little more persistent on getting through, but that’s just me. I still loved it and I can wait to read more!!! Let me know when chapter 3 is up

First off, i want to say i really like the plot of this story. however, I too am writing an historical novel and I have had to do a ton of research. I think you should too. The part where it says:

No woman would be hung, or outlawed

that is not true. during the middle ages many woman were hung or burned at the stake. Also if they commited a crime they most certainly would have been outlawed, especially for thievery. A little research will go a long way trust me. Keep writing the story, it's very interesting. I can't wait to read more.

"When the birds first sang the waking call through the village" I think this is my favourite line so far.

I like Ivy's attitude in refusing to go along with her mother's insistance that she avoid the forest altogether so that she won't get in trouble herself as a result of being around Robin Hood. What doesn't quite make sense to me is how the two theives were coordinating their attack on Ivy in whispers. Surely they've been at it long enough to be able to communicate silently- either with hand signals or simply because they have worked together for long enough that they know how the other person is going to react. I really don't think they would be speaking out loud while trying to sneak up on someone.

I would have liked to have had a little more description at the end as to how Ivy is feeling/reacting to being turned away without even getting to talk to Robin himself. Also, the very last sentence makes it sound like the town is extremely close to the forest which doesn't make sense to me. (Wouldn't Robin and his men be more careful not to come very close to town where they might be caught?) I think if you split that last sentence and put some description of Ivy's reaction in before the point where she comes into town.