z

Young Writers Society


Prolouge



User avatar
63 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 314
Reviews: 63
Fri Apr 23, 2010 1:00 am
iheartbooks says...



If he had said he loathed her, she could not have been more
frightened. She plucked at his sleeve, speechless.

"Scarlett," he said, "can't we go away and forget that we have
ever said these things?"

"No," she whispered. "I can't. What do you mean? Don't you want
to--to marry me?"

He replied, "I'm going to marry-"


"Lucy!" called my mom in her sing-song voice. She only used that voice when she was very frustrated, she used that voice quite a lot. I couldn't get one minute to myself could I? I read "Gone With the Wind" during every one of my spare minutes and I still haven't finished it. It came out in May and it's already AUGUST! Ever since my father died, and the depression started, my mom has gone super crazy about this whole boarding house thing. As if having to grow up in an old creepy house without a father, a pretty much crazy mom, and don't forget a insanely hyper six-year-old sister, why don't you throw in a whole other package of nuts! And don't get me going on my chores! It was bad enough with just helping my mom with the laundry and cooking all three meals, because my mom doesn't know how to cook, she thinks women cooking all the time is sexist. Well now, with the boarding house, not only do I still do that, but I have to help Mr. Gregors try to find the watch that he sold two years ago, help Mrs. Gregors catch her loose cat Mr. Fluffballs, continually wash Miss Arnolds' paint splattered clothes, keep Mr. Nichols desk organized after he goes to find work, although I think that all he does when he's out is grab a beer and steal a paper, calm a screaming toddler, and keep a pregnant Mrs. Nichols happy!

"Lucy Nicole Bigello!!!" yelled my mom. I really should get going in.

"What?" I asked when I stepped into the kitchen. She turned around looking surprised, she was probably going to call for me again.

"You need to take these brownies down to the new family down the street. They just moved in and they should have a nice welcome," said my mom.

"Of course, the Gerros' old house?" I asked and she nodded.

"Take your sister with you," she said and I groaned.

"Oh, come on mom. Nellie always scares the new neighbors away," I said.

"I heard that, and I don't!" said Nellie as she walked in.

"Oh yeah? What about the Nervines? They moved in to the Gerros' house and you talked so much that they packed up and moved. They were gone after a week!" I said and she scowled at me.

"You know that Mr. Nervines lost his job and they moved to Chicago!" she said and grabbed the brownies from our mom. "I'm going with you!"

I rang the doorbell when we got to the Gerros' old house and waited. After a few seconds a very beautiful lady came to the door. I could tell they were a rich family because she was wearing a blue, silk dress with a fur coat.

"Well, now who are you?" she asked us. Nellie looked to awestruck to answer, so I did.

"Um, we live down the street. I'm Lucy Bigello and this is my sister Nellie," I said, and when I introduced Nellie I elbowed her and she stopped staring at the lady's coat.

"Well, how lovely. Oh where are my manners? Please, please, come in," she said ushering us in.

"Ronald, Henry! There are some nice young ladies here, it looks like they have some goodies for us," she called up the stairs. I heard some footsteps and a dad yell for the kid to slow down. I expected a little kid to be coming down the stairs, but instead it was a boy around my age. He was gorgeous! He had dark brown hair that was cut short, chocolate brown eyes that made my heart melt, and a noble, stately look to his face. I would have assumed that he was a jerk, but how could a jerk look so good?

"Henry, this is Lucy and Nellie," said Henry's mom. "Oh, and this is my husband Robert, but you may call him Mr. Butler, and I'm Elizabeth Butler." I looked around at them all and smiled.

"My pleasure," said Henry as he shook Nellie's hand. Then he took my hand, shook it, kissed the top of it, and said, "My pleasure." I blushed, of course.

"The pleasure is all mine," I said calmly, trying not to give away the obvious fact that my heart was beating 100 beats a second! I gave Mrs. Butler the brownies and Henry invited me for a game of croquet, I gladly accepted. I knew I was to young, I was 13 for goodness sake. Besides, I had so many chores, but I could have a bit of fun, right?

"Lucy!" I heard a familiar sing-song voice call out. Oh great, and just as we were going to play a game with the cute boy!

"I'm so sorry," I said. I grabbed Nellie's hand and started to run back to my house.

"What house will I find you in if I want the pleasure of your company?" Henry asked us as we were running.

"It's the yellow one down here, at the corner!" I yelled back. I heard my mom call again, she could be so demanding at times.

When the day was finally done, I put on my nightgown brushed my teeth, washed my face, and hopped in bed. I was so tired I was asleep before Nellie could even turn off the light.

It had to be about 1:30 in the morning when I woke up. It was basically pitch-black. It was very humid that night, so I figured I woke up from the humidity. I got up and silently opened the window. I was just about to go back to bed, but I saw a light downstairs. When we go to sleep all the lights are turned off, I would know because I do it myself, so I figured it might have been Mr. Gregor getting a glass of water. I got up and started to go down, but stopped when I heard voices.

"Of course I understand what's going on in your life. Yes, I do have room. Of course, please, step in," I heard my mom say. There was another lady mumbling and I was sure my mom was having difficulty hearing what she was saying. I walked down a little farther and saw a boy and his mom. The mom had chin length gold curls and was very skinny, like she hadn't eaten in days. The boy with her had shaggy blond hair that barely covered his eyes and went a bit farther than his ears. He was not as skinny as his mom, but he was still at the skinny point. I stepped down one more step and walked out to where they were.

"More boarders?" I asked my mom and she nodded. "Oh man, aren't we pretty much booked right now?" I knew what I said was rude, but really, I have enough going on right now, I don't need any anorexic mother-son groups to deal with too!

"Lucy!" My mom gasped. The boy's mom looked a bit upset at that news, but I didn't really care. My mom would find room, she always did.

"No, we defiantly have room. Take Raymond up to your room, he can sleep in Nellie's bed, Nellie will sleep with you.-Then she looked at Raymond-I hope you don't mind sharing a room with the 2 girls and another family's 2-year old," she said and he shook his head. I waved my hand, signaling him to follow me, and I headed up the stairs into my room. I pointed to the small bed and he nodded. I gently woke up Nellie so I wouldn't startle her and end up waking up the Nichols' little boy, Benjamin.

"What, what is it?" she asked drowsily.

"Come one, sleep with me, I'll explain in the morning," I said and she got out of her bed to sleep with me. The last thought of that night was, "There is another one I have to take care of!"
Last edited by iheartbooks on Sat Apr 24, 2010 2:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"As the hungry are deprived of food, I am deprived of sympathy for those who deprive me of my sanity." ~Anonymous
  





User avatar
84 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 5736
Reviews: 84
Sat Apr 24, 2010 6:32 am
fictionfanatic says...



This is pretty good. It happened kind of fast but other than that it was pretty okay.
Live, Love, Laugh
  





User avatar
135 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 6280
Reviews: 135
Mon Jun 14, 2010 12:37 am
ballerina13 says...



Hello! Your story is intriguing. I enjoyed reading it. I have a few nitpicks though. First off, is the time period the Depression era? It seems so just by you describing the clothes and the lose of jobs but you might want to clarify that a bit more. The whole story was set at a fast pace. I feel that everything just went form one subject to another without much detail or explanation. I feel that description of the characters would help make the story more personal. Show us what the characters look like, how they feel, what about the father? How did he die? Things like that. I am impressed with how it is right now and with a little tuning up, it will be solid. Keep working on it. I love it! Sorry if this review seemed harsh, I am just trying to help.
Got YWS?
"No one can arrive from being talented alone,work transform talent into genius" - Anna Pavlova
  





User avatar
63 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 314
Reviews: 63
Mon Jun 14, 2010 1:18 am
iheartbooks says...



it is the Great Depression era. I have actually restarted writing this on my own, believe me, thhis was just a quick jot down. Some things I like to reveal farther into the book, such as how her father died. It's supposed to be one of those bonding moments with the one guy, in the new version his name is Jeffery so I'm not quite sure what it is in this one. But, yeah, cliche. But, umm, yeah =]
"As the hungry are deprived of food, I am deprived of sympathy for those who deprive me of my sanity." ~Anonymous
  








Half goat, half fish, all goatfish.
— OSP Red