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Mei (working title) Chapter 3



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Sat Oct 11, 2008 8:31 pm
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happy-go-lucky says...



The Hai family sat in silence at the breakfast table. Mr Hai seemed deep in thought sipping his tea, a constant scowl wrinkling his forehead. Mrs Hai busied herself with the crockery, serving up spoonfuls of rice, jumping slightly everytime the metal spoon clinked against the fine china. Opposite the couple sat Yusheng, smiling secretively at her half-full bowl of rice, her cheeks tinged a healthy yet abnormal pink. Next to her sat Jia who seemed too busy eating to even establish her elder sisters change in character. Then of course there was Mei.

Fact:
Nothing gets past Hai Meifeng.



Her dark brown eyes penetrated her blushing sister inquisitively. She was hiding something. Mei thought twice before nudging Jia - although she loved her sister, it was never wise to disturb her in the morning.

'Girls,' interuppted the shrill voice of their mother. 'Your father and I have something to tell you -' The girls looked up from their breakfasts in interest. Mrs Hai gave a small cough to attract her husbands attention. Mr Hai reluctantly looked up and humoured his wife.

'Tell them, Renshu,' she muttered.

He sighed and gave a subtle roll of his hazel eyes, 'We are to expect some guests.'

'Guests?' chorused the girls, with mixed emotions.

'When?' asked Jia excitedly.

'Soon,' he replied indirectly.

Mrs Hai raised an eyebrow at her husband's lack of interest in the situation. 'Within the week,' she filled in.

'Who is it?' asked Yusheng seriously, snapping out of her dream-like state.

'Never you mind!' her mother replied. 'But I expect you all to be on your best behaviour.'

'Do we know them?' persevered Jia.

'No,' answered Mrs Hai, looking desperately for help from her husband who had already returned to his tea. 'But they are very important visitors so do your best to welcome them!'

'You have nothing to say, Meifeng?' said Mr Hai looking once again up from his tea.

Mei shook her head, but tried to look remotely excited. By the look on her father's face she wasn't very convincing. Mr Hai nodded and returned to his beverage, he understood.

'And what about you, Mr Hai?' said his wife sarcastically. 'Do you have anything to say?' Mr Hai shook his head also as if to brush of his wife's dubiousness. 'Very well then,' she sighed. 'I would like you all to lay out your best clothes so that they are ready and waiting for when our guests arrive - which, may I add, could be anytime from now to friday! I will not have the Hai family's name trodden into the dust, we will be polite and presentable.'

Mei prevented herself from giggling aloud as she thought of how well her mother could command an army. The girls dismissed themselves from the table and headed back to their bedroom. Apparently there was "much to be done".

********

Now hopefully you don't think I "spy" on this family, my friends, but I feel this is very important to include. A letter of desperation, sent that very evening from the Hai residence to the Chang residence on the other side of the village:

My dearest Duyi,

I cannot bear it for much longer. Meeting with you last night was the most joy that I have had in these past three months, but I fear that if we do not act soon it will be too late. We are to expect guests sometime this week and my mother's secrecy is enough to tell me that there will be at least one man of fortune accompanying them if not more. I know full well that before your premotion it would be impossible for us to be together, however with the right amount of persuasion my father may allow it. I ask this of you before these visitors arrive as I do not know what will become of this meeting.

With all my love,

Yusheng


The crisp parchment framed the name signed in black ink neatly, but the smudges and smears showed it to be written rapidly and not left to be dried properly. Hai Yusheng was in need of some assistance.
Last edited by happy-go-lucky on Sun Oct 12, 2008 2:04 pm, edited 2 times in total.
"A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world"
- Oscar Wilde
  





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Sat Oct 11, 2008 9:32 pm
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ashleylee says...



Hey, Happy! Here and ready to review! :D

Her dark brown eyes looked penetrated her blushing sister inquisitively.


Oddly worded. Try instead: Her dark brown eyes penetrated her blushing sister inquisitively.

Mrs Hai raised an eyebrow at her husband's laid back approach to the situation.


I don't think "laid back" is the right word for this. Maybe try "lack of interest" or something like that.

'And what about you, Mr Hai?' said his wife sarcastically.


Do the husband and wife call each other "Mr and Mrs" that seems kind of formal, dont' you think?

'Do you have anything to say?' Mr Hai shook his head also as if to brush of his wife's dubiousness.


Should be "off"

'Very well then,' she sighed. 'I would like you all to lay out your best clothes so that they are ready and waiting for when our guests arrive. I will not have the Hai family's name trodden into the dust, we will be polite and presentable.'


I thought you said that they would be arriving in the next week...so why would they be lying out their clothes?

* * * *

All right, this was another good chapter, Happy! I'm really excited to see who these mysterious guests are and what happens with this handsome stranger Yeshung meets....

PM me when you post more!
"Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to loveā€”and to put his trust in life."
~ Joseph Conrad


"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."
~ Red Auerbach
  








[as a roleplayer is feeling sad about torturing her characters] GrandWild: "You're a writer, dear. Embrace it."
— GrandWild