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Young Writers Society


Smoke Follows Beauty- Part Two



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Tue Jul 29, 2008 3:59 am
Bittersweet says...



Alright, here's the second of five parts of the entry for the Some Kind of Character contest.
EDIT: The italics aren't working well. There are parts that were in italics that aren't anymore. Sorry. I hope it doesn't effect the story too much.
_______________________
Word 005: Tulips

Georgiana- 1935

Georgiana Parson was the mother that every child in North Carolina wanted to have for their own. She gave her daughter Tulip just the right amount of attention; never over-protective but not once neglectful. She was the one who cooked dinner for anyone who came by, helped whenever she was needed and was always doing something.
“Tulip, darling?” she called, bent over a neat line of flowers outside, picking weeds. “Can you get my gardening shovel for me?”
“Yes, Mom!” Tulip cried from inside.
Georgiana smiled at all her lovely tulips she tended. She loved them so much she even named her daughter after them. Fondling the ivory-like touch of the petals, she remembered her teenage years.
She had befriended a young man that no one else had before. They became quite close over the years; to the point when both were certain they were more than a friend to the other.
“What’s your favorite flower, Georgiana?” the boy had asked one day while the two were dipping their legs in the river just after the snow had melted.
Georgiana didn’t know. She had never paid much attention to things like that. What could she say?
“Tulips,” she said after a while, throwing a rock and watching the ravenous water devour it in seconds. “I like tulips.”
He gazed at her for a long time. “Tulips.”
A week later he brought her a single tulip and a cheap ring around the stem. “Will you marry me, my tulip?”

Tulip came bounding out from the house, carrying the small shovel. “Here, momma!” she said, handing it to her mother.
Georgiana smiled. “Thanks, dear. Would you like to help me pick weeds?”
Tulip grinned with enthusiasm. “Oh, yes!”
“Oh, yes!” she cried, beaming. They hugged and kissed for a very long time until Georgiana ran off to tell her parents of the news.
When she informed her mother with rushed giddiness, her mother just stared at her. “Peter Ainsworth, Georgiana?” she said incredulously after a long pause. “Georgiana, he’s worthless! He never went to college, he doesn’t have a job! How will the two of you ever manage?”

They moved. Georgiana never saw Peter again.
Georgiana never got over Peter. She still loved him, even though she hadn’t seen him for years and she was in a decent marriage. She wondered if maybe somewhere in the world, he still loved her too.
Georgiana loved tulips.
eviscerate your fragile frame
spill it out in ragged form
a thousand different versions of yourself.
  





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Fri Aug 01, 2008 2:31 pm
KJ says...



First off, I liked how you went back and forth in this piece. Once I was starting to get bored with the MC's reality, I was brought back to her mysterious romance. Nice touch.

But I was, as stated above, a bit bored with the MC's perfect life. It was far too sweet and uneventful, really. The only reason I kept going with this was because of the parts in Italics. I thought those were pretty interesting.

Keep writing.

KJ
  





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Sun Aug 03, 2008 8:37 am
Sam says...



Hey, Bitter!

Okay, so the last line is completely innocent and perfect. I love it! The characters are really interesting when we get to see them from all different angles, and Georgiana has quite a lot of depth to her. The failed romance is really adorable and sad at the same time, and it gives her a certain interest that you couldn't really get without an angsty past. ^_~

- One thing I was confused about: are Tilly and Tulip the same person? This would be really cool if this were the same character as the "fire mother", since they have the same last name, but I really have no idea. I guess Tilly could be a nickname for Tulip, but it's not a strong enough connection for me to associate it immediately.

- I could be completely wrong about this, but wasn't America still in the Depression in '35? If so, it would have been right up before the war, when times were hard, anyway. I want to see a lot more involvement of the history, because both the Depression and World War Two shaped peoples' lives in huge ways. In the first part, the young men would have been hard to come by because a lot of them would have died in the European or Pacific fronts (pretty sure it would have been European, in North Carolina). In the second, the fact that Georgiana would stop to make dinner for anyone who came by, despite not having enough money to feed her own family, would make it a much more impressive and telling detail.

__

I really enjoyed these! Let me know if you have any questions or put a new one up. ^_^
Graffiti is the most passionate form of literature there is.

- Demetri Martin
  








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