I tapped my pencil against the desk. I slowly scribbled in answers to my test, only to erase them again. I had studied, but I hadn’t been concentrating. I had been thinking of Jacob.
Don’t ask me why, but I just couldn’t get him off my mind. I wrote more letters and numbers, but suddenly, they were all mushing together. I had never been a great test taker, but that day seemed horribly bad.
I slowly scribbled in my last few answers and turned in the test. I picked up my bag and headed out the door. A light rain was slowly falling on the street, and I had forgotten a hat.
My hair was drenched by the time I took shelter in a café. I sighed and ran my fingers through my blond locks. I stared out the window, not feeling particularly hungry at the moment.
And there he was. Jacob was walking down the street, his dark hair now seemed longer due to the moisture. But I could tell it was him just the same. My heart jumped slightly at the sight of him, only slightly though.
Before I knew it, my feet were on the wet pavement, Jacob in front of me. “Jacob!” I said and he slowly turned, meeting my gaze.
“Hello Katarinna.” He smiled. “What are you doing out in the rain?”
“Well, I just got back from taking an exam,” I said proudly.
“Oh.” Jacob looked down at his feet. “How was it?”
“I don’t think I did all that well. It was hard to study last night and we didn’t have any time to study before the test…” I paused. A dark shadow had come over Jacob’s face. That was when I realized it. I hadn’t been thinking. Jews weren’t allowed to go to school anymore. And here I was, rambling on about the test.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“For what?” Jacob asked.
“I’m sorry that you can’t go to the university.” We stood in silence for a few moments, a penetrating silence broken only by the soft thud of the rain.
“Its fine,” he replied. “It’s not your fault.” Silence stood between us again, at least until he asked me, “Do you want to take a walk?”
I almost said yes, but a poor excuse came from my mouth instead. “Its raining, not very good weather for a walk.”
“But you’re already walking in it.”
“Um…well,” I couldn’t think of an excuse. But I didn’t want to be seen walking with a Jew. I shouldn’t even be talking to him! I thought.
“Oh, I see. You don’t want to be walking with a Jew.” He seemed to have read my mind.
I looked down at my black shoes. I wouldn’t lie, but I couldn’t bear to tell the truth, at least not with words.
“I understand,” he said. “You’re the daughter of a Nazi Solider, a pure Aryan. Goodbye Katarinna.”
“Bye…Jacob.” His name came out as a whisper, but I knew as soon as it fell from my lips, that he hadn’t heard it.
I waited a few moments until Jacob had rounded the corner, and then I continued on my way home.
I climbed the stairs up to my apartment and quickly unlocked the door with my key. I set my bag down on the small table and sat down in one of the chairs. A small sigh escaped my lips as I laid my head on my arms.
I was befriending a Jew, and I was Katarinna Dresner, daughter of Abigail and Nazi Solider Egon Dresner, pure Aryans. I had become the last thing I wanted to be in my father’s eyes: A Jew lover.
They were filth in our perfect world. They polluted it, poisoned it. We were superior to them, we were pure, perfect.
But Jacob didn’t seem like that…he smiled. He was kind, and he had emotions. He felt sorrow, he showed joy in his smile and in his dark eyes. He wasn’t a monster. A monster feels no pain, no love, no joy. How could Jacob Gottlieb be a monster?
^ ^ ^ ^
I didn’t see Jacob again until two weeks after my exam. I was walking home from my parent’s home on a bright, sunny Sunday. But as I passed Jacob’s shut down store, I saw him. But he wasn’t alone. Two girls were on either side of him, and a crowd surrounded him. The people in the crowd were all Jewish, that much I could tell. The two girls on either side of Jacob had his same fair complexion and slightly curly dark hair. They clearly had to be Jacob’s sisters. The only difference was that one of them had…blue eyes.
“We are getting treated like dirt!” Jacob yelled into the crowd. “We are just as much citizens of Germany as those Nazis, are we going to let them treat us like garbage?” A chorus of “no’s” rang through the crowd.
Then one of the girl’s spoke. “We deserve an education!”
The one with blue eyes interrupted. “We deserve to be able to make a living!”
Jacob scanned through the crowd, but I felt heat rush to my face as his eyes rested on me. I turned away and began walking home, only to be shoved aside. “Excuse me miss,” a man said. I glimpsed his uniform before I began continuing on my way. More soldiers were coming down the lane by the minute.
I looked back to where Jacob stood on his soapbox and felt a small gasp rise from my chest as a soldier shoved him to the concrete. Two other soldiers held the two girls who had been with Jacob. They struggled and the crowd slowly scattered, making the beating of the Jew clearly visible to me.
The girls were screaming and kicking their legs, but the soldiers held them tight, and I recognized one of the soldiers. I recognized him as my father. I heard cries of pain come from Jacob’s lips as he was kicked and beaten. Soldiers ripped off his shirt, kicking him hard on his abdomen.
“Jacob!” one of his sister’s cried, the one with blue eyes. She kicked the soldier who was holding her hard in the groin, making him loosen his grip just enough so she could wiggle out of his grasp.
But as soon as she rushed over to her brother, my father grabbed her, still holding firmly onto her sister.
“He’s had enough,” one of the soldiers grunted. “Let them go.”
My father let go of the girls, and then cast a look at their arms wrapped around their brother. Their beaten, bruised, brother. “Let’s go,” my father said. As him and his men started down the street, my father’s eyes trailed over to me.
“Go home Katarinna,” he said firmly. “You shouldn’t be here.”
“But fath-”
“I told you to go home,” he said, slowly continuing on his way.
The soldiers turned the corner and dissapeared from sight. I turned back towards the shut-down store. Jacob’s arms were around his sister’s and they were helping him walk.
“Jacob!” I called, but he didn’t seem to hear me. I called his name louder, and jogged to catch up. “Jacob!” I yelled, urgently.
This time, he stopped. His face slowly turned towards me. A yellow bruise covered his cheek and his left eye, red marks and bruises lined his abdomen. His hair was sweaty and messy, and his eyes didn’t shine like they had before.
“Jacob, wait…” I said softly. But he didn’t wait. He just kept on walking, leaving me standing alone.
Katarrina needs a shorter name
(That's gonna be YWS Jargon Gold in a bit, you just wait.)
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