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Sophia's Suitors-Chapter 4 Part 2



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Mon Aug 25, 2008 9:25 pm
Merry_Haven says...



~Choppy but enjoy.~

In the year of 1805, the Theatre Royal was built and ready for production. Fifteen years later, the Theatre still thrives in the business of art.
On a Wednesday evening, August 1820, the Theatre Royal was still beaming in success. The residents of Bath all swarmed in black carriages waiting to see the new play.
“Sophia, are you excited to go to the Theatre Royal?”
“Yes, Helena. I've never seen a play before.”
“Oh, the Theatre is just amazing. And I heard this play was great when it came from London.”
“Girls, we're here.” The coachmen opened the door and Aunt Caroline went out. The girls came out and Sophia was amazed how beautiful it was. I've never see something so beautiful before. It's just magnificent.
While Aunt Caroline handed in their tickets, the Bentleys came by.
“Caroline, it's great to see you again.”
“Lady Bentley, what a surprise.” The conversations of the two went on when James came by with his father from handing in their tickets.
“Miss Ashworth. Miss Selwood.” James and the two nodded as so did his father.
“Captain, I didn't know you liked plays.” Helena said.
“I don't. I came here for my mother.” His voice was a monotone.
“Oh. How nice.” She said half interested.
“Come girls, the play is about to start.”
“Coming mama. Goodbye, Captain.” James smiled goodbye and glanced at Sophia who blushed several shades of red. How can I stop blushing when he's around?
They all departed and went their separate ways. When the got to their box, Sophia noticed that the Bentley's were right across from them. Oh, dear. How can this be?
The conductor raised his arm and the orchestra started. The tall, deep red curtain opened and the play started.
*********************
“What a wonderful play. Don't you think so, Sophia?”
“It was quite amusing, Helena.” Sophia couldn't concentrate on Helena because all she thought about was James.
All through the play he stared at me! And I couldn't help but stare back. What was going on with me?
“Yes, I would like to talk to a Miss Selwood.” Reality hit Sophia when she heard someone say her name out loud.
“That is her over there, by the Ashworths.” Sophia looked around and saw a man coming towards her. It was no other than Lord Richard Covington.
“Miss Selwood?” His voice was low, deep manly voice that scared her a little bit.
“Yes, that's me.” Everyone around them stared, listening to their conversation.
“I'm Lord Richard Covington. Marquess of Ellsworth and I came here to find you.”
“For what, my lord?”
“To marry you.”
**********************
The bedroom was dark but had a orange glow coming from the crackling fireplace. Helena and Sophia were in bed thinking of the day.
“Sophia?”
“Yes, Helena?”
“Was Lord Covington one of your suitors?”
“Yes, and so was Lord McCord.”
“Oh. I see.”
“Um, Helena. I need to tell you something.”
“What?” Helena turned to her side to face her cousin.
“I think I'm falling for James.” Helena's hazel eyes lit up at her statement.
“Why?”
“I don't know.” I can't tell her that he almost kissed me.
“We'll talk tomorrow morning, Sophia. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Helena.” Helena switched back to the other side and slowly went to sleep. Today, was very confusing for me. Today, at Lyme and at the Theatre Royal. Yet I somehow think that James is my suitor. Only time will tell.
  





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Mon Aug 25, 2008 9:41 pm
Night Mistress says...



ohhh...

so that richard guy was one of her suitors.

and what's with helena? at the beginning at the story, she seems to be falling in love with james, but now founds him dis-interesting. ummm....this is becoming stranger by the minute.

and what are all the suitors going to do? they all can't marry her. i have a feeling that two of them are only after her money, that's why they introduce themselves as her suitors.

but only time will tell.
"I love you," she whispered in his ear, before taking his mouth with her own.

~Elizzabeth Grey of Addicting Posion
  





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Tue Aug 26, 2008 12:47 am
Merry_Haven says...



Night Mistress-
I am so sorry if this is being confusing for you. I'll try not to rush it and yes, it'll become more clearer as it progresses. Thank You for the review.
-Merry
  





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Sat Aug 30, 2008 11:38 pm
jasmine12 says...



Uhm, Merry, you stopped. This is the last part.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
The public (aka me) wants to know more!
Seriously rooting for James.
I think that you are putting James ahead of the other two. Let them have a chance at Sophia so she has more of a dilemma when it comes to choosing.
Other than that, brilliant! I loved every part and want to know what happens next.
Good luck!
Pm me when you get the next part up! Can't wait!
"Sometimes the worst bad guy makes the best good guy." Nigel--Untouched
  





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Sat Aug 30, 2008 11:42 pm
Merry_Haven says...



jasmine12-
Seriously, why do your reviews always make me crack up? *cracks up laughing*
Don't worry I'll post the next part up when I finish it and when I'm done finishing the other chapters for my other stories.
And I'll definitely pm you. :wink:
So thanks for all your helpful reviews!
-Merry
  





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Sat Aug 30, 2008 11:45 pm
jasmine12 says...



No problem.
I make you laugh? That's weird, all of my friends think I have no sence of humor, well only when I fall and do something stupid.
Back to topic.
I'm glad I could help. Seriously good story here, keep it up.
If you don't I will be forced to tickle your feet with a feather until you do.


See, I'm not all that funny when I try to be.
"Sometimes the worst bad guy makes the best good guy." Nigel--Untouched
  





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Sun Aug 31, 2008 1:05 am
ashleylee says...



Things just keep getting better and better for Sophia, don’t they :lol: But I guess, as she said, only time will tell what will happen next……

“Captain, I didn't know you liked plays.” Helena said.
“Oh. How nice.” She said half interested.


All of these are the same. In dialogue, you have to remember that when you have a tag, you use a comma instead of a period after the sentence. Like this:

”Captain, I didn’t know you liked plays,” Helena said.
”Oh. How nice,” she said half-interested.

You see?

Just keep that in mind for future dialogue :wink:

The bedroom was dark but had a orange glow coming from the crackling fireplace.


Should be an

Now, I have decided to do a quick character/plot overview so just bear with me…

Sophia. She seems to be a very spunky, yet confused girl. I feel her confusion most of the time…but sometimes I feel that it is forced :? I would try to make it more real, with her like screaming out loud, or wanting her father back. That’s another thing, does she not miss her father? Or is her mind too consumed with her suitors to think about much else? Those are just thoughts to consider.

Helena. The sweet cousin who is simply boy crazy. Every man that comes, she just swoons at their feet. I would like to know more about her, however. Like, is she bossy? Shy? Outspoken? Stuff like that.

Lucy. We just met her and she seems like a very lively young girl who is a little outspoken when it comes to certain things, which is fine :wink: I really enjoyed her character. I can’t wait to see what becomes of her as the story goes on.

Simon. Lucy’s brother. He’s…an average Joe? That’s the vibe I got. But Helena sounds sweet on him, so he might not be as average as you made him out to be, hmm? ha just teasing But anyway…I, as with Lucy, anticipate his development as a character.

Isaac. Handsome, rich, the perfect suitor, right? I think wrong. There is something about him…I don’t know what it is but I just don’t trust him. Maybe that’s just me being dumb, but I feel like he’s lying to Sophia about the Suitor thing.

Richard. Just met him. Not much to say on him except that he claims to be one of Sophia’s suitors. I guess we will see, right?

James. Ah…my favorite character! I seriously think I am falling in love. :smt050 He is so perfect in like every way. And he’s not like all the other gentlemen that try to act all perfect. He is who he is and that’s why he’s my favorite. *hem* back to the review *hem* hehe But yeah, I really have no complaints about him so…

Plot: All we know right now is that Sophia has to pick a suitor in less than a week or something like that. My advise would to have more little plots that are apart of the story that makes it more thick. That thickens the soup, if you wish to use a metaphor (a metaphor right?).

Besides all that, I love this story and can’t wait for more! :D :D :D

[[and I hope you get over your writer’s block, Merry. I sympathize, really. I have it too :cry: ]]
"Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love—and to put his trust in life."
~ Joseph Conrad


"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."
~ Red Auerbach
  








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