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Achilles- Prologue



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Thu Jan 05, 2012 8:33 pm
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AlfonsoFernandez says...



It is true that your life flashes by when you are about to die. As the arrow flies, whistling towards my heel, I know it is the end. I see myself when I was an infant, just a few days old, sitting down in the center of a circle of the assembled gods. There was my mother, Thetis, standing proudly looking down at me. Then he who seemed the most powerful of all of them kneeled on one knee next to me and spoke.

“Achilles,” His voice was kind, but it seemed wild, untamed, like a thousand thunders all rumbling at once, “A war is to come when you grow older. The Greeks will invade the Trojans, and they will need a leader, a hero. We, the gods, have decided to make you the hero. But for that you must have a power that no other human has. You will be invulnerable to anything. But for that, you must go in the river Styx. You must be strong so that your soul doesn’t get pulled to the realm of the dead. You are too young to go to Hades, and too important. If anything happens, I am deeply sorry.”

Even though I was really small, I still remember it perfectly. I would never forget how Zeus, the king of gods himself, had called me a hero. Even if I hadn’t done anything. Yet. I remember my mother giving me a sad smile, holding me by the heel, lifting me up, and sinking me into the river.

I did not understand why was I doing this. Why were there people on the bottom of the river; people who seemed to have been there for eons. I could breath under the water, but I felt like part of me was slipping away into that dark pit of death. Then I felt the pain; pain that I would never forget. But I also felt as though I was healing. I felt like my skin was being covered with metal. I was stronger, invincible even. But there was my heel. I looked up to see it above the surface, suspended by my mother’s tight grip. I felt as if I was in full battle armor, and my heel naked. My heel being the only human part left of me. I still remember it perfectly.

My mother pulled me up, my body dripping death liquid. Poison. The gods looked aghast. I was the only living human being who had ever survived the river Styx. The chances were minimal, but worth risking in times like those.

“Well,” said Zeus, “You shall start getting stronger, but your training will begin in a few years. Until then, farewell.”

And then lightning struck him, and he was gone. Then, one by one, the gods disappeared. At the end, there was only Thetis left, and she embraced me in her arms, her human warmth making me feel human again. But I would never be. And things would only get worse until the end. I closed my eyes, thinking about the future, and sunk into complete blackness.
"True glory consists in doing what deserves to be written; in writing what deserves to be read."
- Pliny the Elder

[insert inspiring quote]
  





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Gender: Male
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Thu Jan 05, 2012 9:48 pm
Stori says...



Then he who seemed the most powerful of all of them kneeled on one knee next to me and spoke.


The past tense of 'kneel' is actually 'knelt'.

His voice was kind, but it seemed wild, untamed, like a thousand thunders all rumbling at once, “A


Since you aren't starting a new sentence, it's not necessary to capitalize "A" and "His".

I could breath under the water


That's "breathe".
  








As a writer, I'm more interested in what people tell themselves happened rather than what actually happened.
— Kazuo Ishiguro