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Fire and Shadow: Chapter 2 part 1



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Sat Nov 19, 2011 5:01 am
Starhunter says...



{Chapter 2- Rima's POV. Rima lives in the kingdom next door to Zanni, where Coron lives. This occurs the same day or soon after Chapter 1}
~ Switch: Rima of Ryalthi ~

The woods were silent as Rima strode through them, her breath rising like steam. Behind her, she heard a sound, a crunch on the frost-covered ground. She whirled around, heart-throbbing, but there was nothing. After examining the surrounding bushes with her eyes to check for any hidden creatures, Rima made an irritated sound, and turned around again. Drawing her faded red cloak closer around her, she continued on, searching through the forest.

Luna knew better than to go into the woods alone, she really did. And Sir Haltas should have known better than to lead her astray and take her there. Didn’t he know that once you gave something to Luna, she held onto it with all her might? The woods were too dangerous- especially for a carefree and headstrong nine-year-old like Luna. It would be just my luck, Rima thought, if some wild gryphon came along and ate her, or some nymph tricked her into a bog or something.

As her older sister, she was supposed to watch her- everyone else at the Citadel was too busy- but it was so difficult when you were responsible for someone who was always running off doing what she wasn’t supposed to, Rima thought, grimacing. It was all she could hope for that she’d find her, safe and sound, before anyone at the Citadel had noticed them missing.

As Rima paused for a breath and to find her bearings, she heard a thud, and then a happy cry. She whirled toward the sound and breathed a sigh of relief into the cold winter air. That girl, Rima thought as she marched toward the sound, is going to be in so much trouble!

“Luna!” she called. “Luna, come here right now!” Rima stopped, hands on hips, with her back to the woods edge, twenty feet away. A tell-tale arrow with a crooked flight was imbedded in the tree in front of her, surrounded by four others. With an exasperated sound, Rima grabbed an arrow and began to pull it out.

“Wait! Don’t do that!” Luna called, and Rima heard her steps thudding in the fallen leaves. Suddenly, she was right next to Rima, pulling her arm away from the arrows. “I watch to check my aim- I can’t do it if you pull it out!”

Rima backed away, pushing at Luna. She inspected her, up and down, carefully. She looked the same as she had this morning- her dark eyes deep set in her tanned Ryalthi face and her wispy dark brown hair falling down over her short cloak, a brighter red than her own. But there was only one way to be sure.

“What’s your name?” she stated, as more of a statement than a question, hands on hips again.

Luna sighed and rolled her eyes. “I’m not a shape-shifter, Rima,” she said in a complaining tone. “I’m Luna.” Then she looked suspiciously back. “Now you say your name- so I know you aren’t a shape-shifter.”

“Rima, the one who will get in big trouble if anyone finds out where you went, again,” Rima responded, then threw up her hands. “Honestly, Luna, you know it isn’t done- not for a young lady, and especially not a princess.”

“Why not?” Luna answered, wrinkling her nose. “What if I marry someone who likes hunting? Illia says that it’s good to have something in common. So I’ll be able to shoot!”

“Don’t talk back to me!” she said reprimandingly.

Luna fingered the shafts embedded in the tree, and then wrapping her fingers around them, began pulling them out. “It’s not talking back if you’re only a year older than me!” she protested.

“Two years.” Rima tapped her foot impatiently. “On my birthday. And anyway, you know going into the forest is against all the rules. Secondly, Father said no archery, that’s what’s wrong with it. As a princess, you must learn to be courtly, and courtly persons don’t go shooting arrows, alone, in a forest where they are forbidden to go, blatantly disobeying all their elders.”

“What’s blatantly disobeying? Father never said I couldn’t go into the forest, you know.”

“You know it’s the rule. And blatantly disobeying is what you did. You know it’s not safe- do you know I could have been attacked by something while trying to find you? Or you could have been attacked- and no one would have known!”

“Don’t be silly, Rima,” Luna answered, removing an arrow from the tree. “It’s safe as long as I stay near the edge- Sir Haltas said so. And besides, it’s daytime. Nothing comes out in the daytime.”

“Nothing except gryphons, giants, and imps, you mean,” Rima said as she began to help pulling the arrows out. “And it’s dark here in the forest, so they might come out anyway.”

“There’s nothing really bad that comes out, I mean,” Luna corrected. “The really, really bad ones. And they won’t hurt me anyway- the ones in my books never hurt princesses.”

“The ones in books aren’t real. Why do you think the woods are forbidden to everyone? Why do you think Father travels with armed guards? Even the Zanni stay inside at night, like us- and they are in league with witches, you know.”

But Luna just shook her head stubbornly. “No, I know they’re true. Nothing’s ever hurt me, see?” She spread her hands wide to display herself, and it was at that moment, the gryphon struck.

It plummeted from somewhere above them, breaking small branches with its broad wings as it fell. Rima whirled, startled at the sound, but she hadn’t fully turned when the gryphon hit her, its hard beak ramming into her and knocking her backwards into the trees. Luna screamed and leapt backward, tripping over her feet in her effort to get away.

The gryphon landed on top of Rima, with one clawed paw pinning down her arm. It was a monstrous thing- its head was that of a black feathered hawk while its body was like that of a wild cat and covered in blackish-gray fur. A pair of huge black and brown wings sprouted from its back, framing it. The creature made a deep sound, like a growl emanated from its chest, as it eyed Rima with one golden eye.

Rima screamed. With her free arm, she punched the creature as hard as she could on the side of its beak. The creature squawked, startled, and drew back. Rima hit it again, this time in the eye tilted toward her. The creature made a sound halfway between a roar and the scream of an eagle as it fell backward, catching itself with a clumsy flap of its wings. Rima hurried to her feet, and Luna ran to her, grabbing at her.

“Rima, Rima,” she gasped, her eyes teary. “What do we-”

“Run!” Rima yelled at her, and grabbing her arm, ran sideways into the forest. The gryphon, Rima noticed too late, was between them and the edge of the forest- and the safety of the Citadel. They ran parallel to the edge, with Rima pulling Luna along beside her. Behind them, the gryphon gave another hideous cry and bounded after them, crunching through the undergrowth. It latched onto a tree with its claws, and then launched itself forward onto another, following them as it leapt from tree to tree. It scraped the bark, leaving massive blazes on each tree from its claws.

Rima looked back at it, and saw it coming. Its eyes glared down at her savagely and then disappeared as it climbed higher into the trees, nimbly as a cat, its wings blending with night black fur of its body. Rima pushed Luna away, pointing her in the opposite direction. “Go that way!” she shouted, “Make for the Citadel!” Luna stood for a moment, her face a mask of fear, and then she took off, running at an angle, into the forest. Rima watched her for a moment, then began to run again as the sound of the gryphon’s claws came from the bare branches above.

She ran, dodging around trees and bushes, making for the edge of the forest. The trees were rapidly thinning, and soon Rima could see the grey winter sky ahead. She burst out of the woods, gasping for breath, and whirled around, trying to catch sight of the black-feathered gryphon among the branches.

There was nothing- no sound and no shape. Rima’s frantically scanned the branches, but there was nothing. Then, suddenly, there was a creaking, and she spun toward the source. Then, as she watched, frozen in place, the gryphon launched itself from the tree into the air, its great black wings like a patch of night on the sky. It dove toward her, claws extended, like an owl about to pounce on a mouse.

Rima didn’t move. It was as if her feet were stuck to the ground as the gryphon flew closer and closer. Then her fear took over her mind, and she stumbled backward onto the plains that stretched between the forest and the Citadel. The gryphon growled again and flew over her head like a grim shadow. Rima cried out and skidded to a stop on the frosty grass, and the gryphon landed before her, blocking her way to the Citadel.

The creature growled and swiveled its head to face Rima, who stood, backing slowly away with both eyes watching it closely. It stepped forward slowly, spreading its wings. Rima shook in fear- she could never outrun those wings.
Suddenly, the gryphon swerved, dodging to the side, and batted at Rima’s leg with a paw. Rima gasped and lost her balance, landing hard on the ground on her back. The gryphon roared again, and moved forward toward her. Its black feathers and fur took up all of Rima’s vision as it towered over her and raised its claw to strike. Rima put her arm in front of her face to try to block the coming blow.

But it didn’t land. The gryphon made a sort of cawing sound and reared backward. Rima crawled backward to get away, but the creature didn’t seem to notice. It reared again, and this time Rima saw a crossbow bolt embedded in its back. The earth beneath her shook as the Citadel’s patrol rode up, crossbows at the ready. The captain leading them loosed a bolt, and the creature, which was screeching horribly at them, convulsed as another bolt struck its wing.

“Fire at will, sirs,” the captain called out over the gryphon’s screeching, and with a single motion, the six patrolmen aimed and fired. The gryphon’s screech cut off, ending in a gargled sound, and it flopped to the ground, one of its wings folding awkwardly beneath it. It shuddered for a moment, then lay still.

Rima and stared at it with round eyes, almost expecting it to get up and attack again. But it remained still, and Rima let out a shuddering breath. She didn’t move until one of the patrolmen grabbed her arm gently and lifted her to her feet. “Are you alright, Princess?” he asked respectfully, taking in her tattered clothes with a glance.

She nodded absently, then suddenly stared him straight in the face. “Luna!” she said, pushing him away. “Luna! Where is she? Is she alright?” She hurried around the gryphon’s great black body, limping a little, to where the other soldiers were standing in a circle.

They looked up from their crossbows and saluted as she approached, but she stared at them questioningly. The captain caught up with her and removed his cloak and wrapped it around her. “Princess, it’s all right. The creature’s dead,” he said reassuringly. “You’re safe now, don’t worry.”

“But where’s Luna?” she asked. “Have you seen her?”

His expression grew graver, and he asked intently, “Princess Luna- she was out here?”

“Yes, I came out here to get her- I came…” her voice cracked as suddenly she began shaking uncontrollably. “I told her to go home!” She began to sob, from shock and fright, and she clung to the captain. He lifted her into his arms and carried her back to the horses.

Rima barely heard as he ordered the patrolmen to search in the forest for signs of Luna. She didn’t notice as the captain placed her gently onto his horse, and she said nothing as they rode quietly back to the Citadel, leaving the gryphon carcass and the other patrolmen behind them.
Why do we fall?
So we can learn to pick ourselves up.


If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it. Anything you want to, do it!
Wanna change the world?
There's nothing to it.
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 2952
Reviews: 136
Sat Nov 19, 2011 7:43 pm
Leahweird says...



This chapter had all sorts of good stuff. I espeicially love the comment about the Zanni. Little details like that are why I love novels with multiple viewpoints.

One thing that does give me pause. The novel synopsis makes it look like Luna is going to become the more significant character, and I got no hint of that from this chapter. In fact, I was more interested in Rima as a character. I'm not sure what this means. It's not like there's anything wrong with that, but I thought you should know.
  





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Sat Nov 19, 2011 9:02 pm
Starhunter says...



Ah! I know, that's always the danger of using someone else's POV to introduce a main character. Rima's important-ish, but I just haven't done anything with her yet... in the original draft of this chapter, Luna was more involved, but I changed it... I'm still thinking of how to add Rima in more, but I'm not sure if it'll be this story!
Thanks for the feedback!
Why do we fall?
So we can learn to pick ourselves up.


If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it. Anything you want to, do it!
Wanna change the world?
There's nothing to it.
  





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136 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 2952
Reviews: 136
Sat Nov 19, 2011 10:09 pm
Leahweird says...



Never a bad thing to have good characters on standby. Things will probably even out as the story progresses.
  





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Tue Nov 22, 2011 5:18 pm
sandayselkie says...



Wow I am sorry. Was Luna and Rima linked with Corons mother? Is there some really twisted link happening here? Sounds good and has all the creepy action that keeps you wanting to know what happens next. I want to know where Luna is and what daddy will say when he finds out. Brilliant stuff
"Live in the present, remember the past and fear not the future, for it doesn't exist and never shall. There is only now."
Saphira

"That's the spirit. One part courage. Three parts fool"
Brom
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 1648
Reviews: 27
Tue Nov 22, 2011 6:38 pm
Starhunter says...



I hope they even out... I keep getting stuck, at which point I go back and work on backstory! Or other parts I skipped before.

Luna and Rima aren't linked with Iulia- they actually live in Ryalthi, the next kingdom over (think city-state kingdoms, like "Kingdom of Naples" kingdoms.)
Why do we fall?
So we can learn to pick ourselves up.


If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it. Anything you want to, do it!
Wanna change the world?
There's nothing to it.
  








Remember, a stranger once told you that the breeze here is something worth writing poems about.
— Shinji Moon