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Supreme Team: Rise of Pyro Flame Chapter 4



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Wed Nov 09, 2011 12:40 pm
stevensmith05 says...



Chapter 4: Sparks Change
The sounds of sirens were now piercing the forest’s air; they were moving ever closer. I had found myself sitting on a hard and rather uncomfortable rock with what Martin had said. What did it mean? I was thinking so hard my head hurt to be honest. The lads were sitting together under the tree but I had isolated myself into a solitary confinement just about. We were all battered and bruised. I was rubbing my chin for now apparent reason just something I do when I’m thinking then I felt something weird in my fingers. They tingled and a flame fired out my finger and went straight into the sky. I froze. I turned to the lads and they all sat staring at me; there was a dramatic silence. Could I really create fire? Could we all? Did we have different powers? I bet these questions dominated every single one of our minds. David said “Are you beginning serious how the fuck did you do that?” I did not know what to say so shrugged my shoulders with the little energy I had. They muttered between themselves yet I did not listen far too concentrated on trying to figure out what had occurred. Aliens came to mind then I thought don’t be stupid you idiot.

Heard the sound of a grueling engine coming from all the way through the trees; it was getting faster. A big black van crumpled down the trees. It skidded to a vicious halt. The back doors flung open. Twenty plus men dressed in back emerged with AK47 in hand. Incredibly intimidating men they were. A man appeared in a white suit out of the Van. A man fro the crowd screamed “on your knees hand behind your back now”. David reacted badly asking why we ha to follow such a demand and I can see where he was coming from had we done anything wrong? He got a bash on the back of the head knocking him clean out for his troubles. This would create a bitter feeling he would show towards the authorities In the future. The man I the white suit stepped forward; he wore dark shaded sunglasses denying us a view of his eyes and had perfect-slicked back Blonde hair. He had a memorable smirk. He said in a very sarcastic UN amusing tone “Good Morning Gentlemen, hope you have enjoyed your stay in our resort; wait a minute its off limits. Who do you think you are coming in my facility you little punks”? We all stared at him blankly; at the time we did not know we caused the dramatic earthquake. He give us an icy stare as none of us answered him; typical arrogant teenagers to be honest. The silence was unbearable; it had become a great stand off Dust swept along the ground as the sun beamed down. I was searching his and body intently to try gets an idea exactly who this guy was. The air was thick with anticipation.

The man in the white suit really did have a threatening gaze. He said in captivating manor “locket up boys”
Dan replied in great anger “why what have we done, where just normal lads camping out give us a fecking break!”
He sniggered again in a confident tone “erm let me think; Shut up you little bastard!” Dan seemed vulnerable and not sure what to say; but it as understandable I could not understand much of what was going on, I felt dead beat, I felt ill, and I wanted to go home. I think we all did to be honest. I looked round to see Martin still under the tree lacking all emotion; they had not spotted him s I decided to break my contact with him immediately. They were about to start loading us up when everything changed.

A guard (one of the guys in black went to grab Scott violently with no remorse; he resisted and shoved him with all his strength to the ground. The man in the white suit only grinned again before announcing to the guards “Shoot Him Gentlemen” They guard now had there guns fixed on Scott, aimed and ready to fire any second. I shouted at the top of my voice “no don’t do it! The first of many bullets exploded from armaments and pierced the surrounding air on course for Scott’s already weak body. The found echoed around the reservoir; I trebled, I thought I was about to lose a close friend; maybe my best. Maybe it would have been better if had killed him. Then was the next in a sequence of bizarre events. The bullet preached. Scott you could say transformed and his skin changed to steal but no normal steal. A steal which saw bullets just bounce off it the. Great expansion meant the majority of his clothes fell off however. Scott seemed incredibly taken back at himself but not compared to the man in the white suit who had his smirk well and truly wiped off his face; which I was happy about. I did not like him but even I could not account for what happened next.

I saw the anger in the eyes of Cory, the eyes of Dan, the eyes of Scott. It was all too much for them. I think they feared what was to come. Scott had remained stealing; he looked magnificent. He was now a god among men. I started feeling the heat flourish round my body I looked at my hands. They were flourished. I closed my eyes and breathed in and then all a sudden the smell of smoke. My hands were eon fire yet I felt no pain. I thought maybe we were all Gods? Had we been gifted with this for a reason? I looked at Dan and he was obviously in pain he turned around and faced the reservoir and clenched his fists tightly. The reservoir changed to Ice in seconds. It was phenomenal. What had happened to us? What was David’s power all these question’s flourished my mind. The guards and the man in the white suit stood in amazement; a blank look dominated their faces I remember one guard in particular going “Holy Lord Jesus!” in a scared way; the tables had turned now we were feared.

The man in the white suit removed his glasses slowly and cautiously reveling his face allowing us to see his deep blue eyes. He no longer really seemed a figure to be feared; I felt powerful but I knew I could not let it triumph over me to do thing’s I know to be unjust. Cory who had remained quiet then said “I think you should let us go before we bring down some serious pain upon you, so move out the way you creepy nerd and let us be on our way”. He was confident; I knew then he must f gained knowledge of his super strength. The repulsive snigger, which I hate, was back upon his face. He enthusiasts me.

He shouted an order to his men “you’re not all made of steal my friend; fire boys”. I did not know what to do; I did not want to hurt anyone, I’m not like that. These men have families, friends and other close people, which they loved. Basically what I am saying is if a gun makes you evil it is like saying a football makes an England Striker Forward, a violin makes a musician, or a suit makes a politician, I hope you get what I mean. I looked around and Lewis was gone; vanished into fin air. The guards all lifted their machines of death. I did not want to kill anyone; I would not have to. I hid my face behind my arm I was hoping I would not witness my final few seconds alas they would not b the sounds of necks snapping echoed through the trees. The sound of brains being slowly crushed was the only things shot in my direction rather then a bullet. I heard screams of unbearable pain a small peak had me witness one of the guards with a large icicle penetrating his stomach; blood splattered out his mouth like a water squirting fountain; it was disgusting. I saw Cory crush one of the guns in his bare hands amazingly then pick up the guard and fling him like he was weightless over the trees and far away however had little effect on him. As if he had only used a small fraction of his power. David stood and watched however he did not look sickened by our friends revolting action, rather he encouraged it. He seemed to be enjoying the onslaught of these guards. Scott in his new magnificent steal form battered one of the guards with a brutal uppercut. His teeth flung out of his mouth and his bright red blood spattered all over the once clean van. I had to do something; I had to do something now and then.

Ste
  





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Wed Nov 09, 2011 3:34 pm
Leahweird says...



I wish I had more to say about the actual story, but that seems to be coming along swimingly.

I wanted to take a moment to adress your sentence structure. You seem to be using a lot of passive voice, and shile there's nothing precisly wrong with that it doesn't seem like a good choice for such an active scene. Things like "in the eyes of Cory" would sound better "In Cory's eyes" just to point out one example. Also, your dialogue is still buried in the main paragraphs, which makes it a lot harder to read.
  








Go in fear of abstractions.
— Ezra Pound