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Sun Oct 23, 2011 6:09 pm
charlianne says...



this is only the first chapter of my story, so i hope you enjoy it. please comment so i know what you think, if you like i'll upload chapter two, so please comment with your honest opinion.

My heart was pounding so heard that I thought it was going to jump out of my chest. The shadow I had seen before at the front of the alley had gone. Just gone into the darkness that covered the alley. Well at I hoped it had.
As my heart started to calm down I began walking again. I could the light at the end of the alley way so I knew I was almost there, almost out of the place that made me fell so on edge, so scared, yet I didn’t make me feel any better. Instead it made me feel worse. A lot worse. I could hear footsteps coming from behind me, the same footsteps I thought I was imagining before.
I had to turn around, to see who it was, but as I turned around the shadow that outlined a person was standing right there behind me. Just staring straight at me, and I fell, right into his arms.
His steady strong arms. I laid there for a second, just staring up into eyes, dazzling emerald green eyes. And then as I steadied myself, he was gone.
“Autumn, come on or we’ll be late.” Said Georgia and Ella, my best friends, standing by the school gates waiting for me to get to school.
Most people at school thought that they were twins being as they had the same personalities, were both the same height at around 5ft 3 inches. They both had the same mid-length straight chestnut brown hair, and brown eyes. They both have boyfriends who play on the football team, both of them good looking guys.
It was just me; I was the odd one out. I didn’t have the same personality as them, I didn’t have a boyfriend, and we looked absolutely nothing a-like.
For I was what most people would call a girlie girl; yet I’d rather spend more time achieving the best possible exam results than go out with boys. I was at least about 5 inches taller than both of them, I had blue eyes, and the main difference was that I was blonde.
But anyway, there they were standing by the gates with their boyfriends, Sam and Chris, waiting for me to join them.
It was like I was their leader. Like I was the one that had to make all the decisions on what to do, and they just followed me.
It was the first day of the new term; the teachers say that we should use this term to improve our standard of work. As if half the students actually do that, I thought to myself. Most of them just act the same way the whole year round not giving any shit about their education. But most of the people just try to improve and end up failing. Only smart asses like me got outstanding exam results the whole year round.
But as pure usual at the start of every term, every pupil have to sit in form for an hour listening to the form teacher’s talk about the upcoming exams and all the other shit happening in the school. And this term, it was our form that was getting a new student.
Our teacher Mrs Harley, had briefly explained to use at the end of the last term that we were getting a new student, but she happened to miss out whether their male or female, or if they’re stunningly beautiful or darn right ugly. That was what everybody wanted to know.
“Autumn, come on,” Ella said. “or we’re going to be late.”
“It’s only form, it’s not that big a deal.” I replied.
“Yeh, but we’re getting a new guy remember, and I’ll bet he’ll be just perfect for you.” Georgia said smiling as we made our way across the school grounds.
“Georgia, let me tell you something, again. A, I’m not interested in finding a boyfriend, and B, Mrs Harley never said if the student was a guy.” I said not really paying any attention in what they had to say next, so instead I made my way into the class room and into my usual space.
I didn’t sit next to anyone in form, Georgia sat next to her boyfriend Sam, in front of me, and Ella sat next to Chris, her boyfriend, besides Georgia, so there was always an empty space besides me.
Just as I took my seat, Mrs Harley walked straight through the door talking about ‘our new arrival’.
“Now everybody, I’d like to welcome our new student, Hades Sullivant”. She said as he entered the class room.
I saw him as he entered the room and my eyes just seem locked on him. My mind was telling me that I’d already seen him before, but I just couldn’t remember when.
I couldn’t understand why other girls weren’t staring. I mean he truly was the most beautiful guy I had ever seen, and the other girls had just turned away. I was the only one staring, and I know it’s rude to just stare at someone but there’s something about him that makes me forget about everything I was doing, everything around me. It was as if we were the only ones in the room. Just us; no one else.
I didn’t hear what he said, I was just stuck staring straight at him. The guy I’d already met earlier on this morning in the alley. Those steady strong arms, and them dazzling emerald green eyes which anyone could get lost in was standing right next to me.
“Autumn,” Georgia hissed snapping me out of my daydream.
“What. Oh err, I’m sorry what did you say again?” I said trying not to look at him directly.
“I said, do you mind if I sit here?” Hades said, pointing at the empty seat beside me.
“No, not at all.” I replied fumbling to get the words out right.
As he sat down and got everything out which we needed for the lesson, I couldn’t help but watch, no matter how much I tried to stare in another direction, my eyes just locked in on him and his stunning beauty.
His short dark hair that just shaped his face perfectly, his tall body – if I had to guess I’d say he’s about 3-4 inches taller than me, and of cause the part you can’t forget, those emerald eyes.
“I’m Hades.” He said offering me his hand.
“Autumn.” I said shaking his hand in return.
We spent the rest of first period talking quietly amongst ourselves. We barely listened to what Mrs Harley was saying, or anyone else for that matter. We just talked about things relevant to nothing. I was aware of everybody staring at us but at this moment in time, none of that mattered. All that mattered was that we were here.
It wasn’t until the bell went that snapped straight back into reality.
As I left the classroom with Ella and Georgia, I stopped when I reached the door and turned around to see where Hades was going for his first lesson.
“You guys go ahead, I’ll meet you there”, I said to the others. I watched them leave the corridor before I approached Hades. There was just something telling me that my friends didn’t approve of him. Well not just my friends but the whole class didn’t seem to like him.
“I don’t suppose you could show me where my first class is do you, its maths?” He said coming up behind me.
“Er sure, I’ll show you, and if you want you could sit next to me, being as I don’t have anybody sitting beside me.” I said, with a poor attempt of flirting-but hopefully he didn’t notice too much, but even if he did, who cares right?
We walked in silence on the way to maths, only listening to the sound of breathing, and the sound of my heels hitting the floor whilst we walked. It wasn’t a long work, but it was long enough for me to get uncomfortable walking beside a total fitty in complete silence. And what made it worse was the fact that I’m more than certain, I’ve seen him somewhere before the alley this morning.
Surprisingly, maths wasn’t as dull as usual. But then again, I hadn’t had anyone to sit next to last term, whereas this term I had Hades.
He was definitely something. He was all I could think about so far today, and it was only break. What am I going to do the rest of the day if all I can think about is him? Never before have I had this problem, but then again before today, I’ve never really been that interested to the male species. I’d always been caught up in my studies, too busy for anything else except studying and spending time with my mates.
So I suppose that he was just an exception to my usual rules I put out during school: rule one don’t get a boyfriend, rule two spend time studying, and rule three spend time with mates. So maybe he was an exception to the rules I’ve laid out during my high school years, but either way I wanted to know one thing, why was it that I was the only one interested in him, and why did he seem so familiar?
  





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Mon Oct 24, 2011 1:00 am
gokubrother says...



Hmm... Well, first of all: welcome to YWS!! Second: the story. I found it to be nice actually. At the beginning I got confused a little as to the strange figure and the alleyway was just a dream. Try to get your ideas a little clearer as to what your character was feeling. I couldn't really interpret that very well. Another thing I noticed was a few grammatical errors here and there, but nothing too serious. We're only human right? I enjoyed it an I would truly like if you wrote the second chapter. Have fun!

-Chris
‎"If you can't build a fire in your house, you can't expect to set the world ablaze."
-Serj Tankian
  








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