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Young Writers Society


Evil Armada 3



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19 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 890
Reviews: 19
Tue Feb 21, 2006 4:36 pm
Killer-Ewok says...



Some one told me about no chat speak in a story, i dont really agree with that, but there the rules so ill obey them.
But not on the evil armada series, because it would make no sense what so ever, and the only way people are going to rate the story is if they can understand it.
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The strong wind was blowing down the sandy path, Cytre was galloping down the road as fast as she could so she could reach the dark lord Ciyalion. The wind blew her hair far behind her as she struggled to see past the sand storm that interrupted her vision. eventually she saw the dwarven fortress in the background, and within minutes she had reached the front lines of the dark lords army.
"Ciyalion" she yelled out "you owe me a lot of money for this rock"
she took the crystal out from under her cloak and threw it into the hands of the lord.
"This is no rock, child, this will win us the battle" the lord whispered "and anyway the deal is you get the money after the battle"
Cytre groaned and walked off to her tent.

Many hours past, but to Cytre it seemed like months, she was anxious and nervous, she had never been in a full scale war before. But eventually she was summoned to the lords tent, she stood around a lard table with the 6 other generals of the army.

"Cykrul you will take the left flank, and the tower guard will follow you until they are close to the walls, dritinco you will lead the trolls through the center, Cytre you will take the back way in by the woods, my units will cover you" the lord commanded. After Cytre heard what she needed to do she simply walked out of the meeting, for she did not need to stay, nor was it her desire to stay and listen to him, her only desire was for revenge, for that was the only thing that kept her going.

At nightfall the lord army approached the massive Grey gates, with the siege equipment lumbering behind the endless amount of the lords minions, but Cytre and the lords personal assassins left the main army and headed to the west, were they would come across a massive forest. Cytre walked through the thick grass and endless amount of tree's.
if you listened carefully you could smell the fresh blood being spilled and the sound of rocks impacting on the dwarven walls.
But it was not her job to watch or listen, it was her job to find, capture and kill. Cytre's group entered the opening of the forest, were they discovered a group of dwarves were waiting for them, Cytre gripped her sword and ripped it out of her sheath, and she charged at the stout warriors.
She jumped up high and sliced down into a dwarf as she span round and threw another dwarf into the nearby river. she took a quick glimpse of her surroundings and saw that the dwarves and her rouges were fighting deep in the grass. she admired her troops, for even through certain death they stuck with her, but her stare of awe was broken when three dwarves charged at her, she ducked under the axe of the first dwarf, ripped it out of his hands and threw it into another dwarves head, as she span round and sliced into the last of the dwarven heads. Her unit was waiting for her orders, so they moved up through the forest, when they came upon a small door.

Thud, Thud, Thud the small wooden door busted open, and her warriors charged into the back of the dwarven units. Cytre slashed into the dwarven armour and smashed into there skulls, and at that moment the main gates fell to the floor, and a massive flood of orcs charged through. The other dwarven squads charged into the new enemy, leaving the dwarven king open, Cytre charged into the command group, for she saw that the lord and his assassins were behind them, she assumed that the lord would of helped, but she assumed wrong!

Cytre clashed with the mighty axe of the king, waiting for her allies to help her, for she couldn't do this alone, but instead of helping, ciyalion and his unit just watched as Cytres unit got smaller and smaller with every blow of the dwarven axes.

Cytre ducked and tried to slice into the leg of the king, but he blocked with his sheild, she then kicked the dwarven kings sheild sending him tumbling back, as she then tried to slice into the kings neck, but another injury was avoided. she then jumped into the king and released her fury on him, as she sliced and slashed into the king, but he only received a few of The many cuts, she jumped back and yelled out "WHY DID YOU DO IT"
the king stood back and said "Cytre we did nothing, it was him, for he captured your town, and enslaved your people."
"and when your sister rebelled, we simply killed her, and blamed everything on the dwarves, thank you for getting my crystal Cytre, but unfortunately our time together is at an end.

Lord Ciyalion threw the crystal into the air, and started the chant, the crystal then glowed and hovered in the air, ad it sent out waves upon waves of destruction, the Crystal emitted a high sonic frequency that made even the sternest dwarf fall to the floor and made even the tallest tower fall to the ground. By this time most of the evil army was out of harms way, and just like that, the lord turned away, and walked off into the shadows.

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Just one more story to go people! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :roll: :evil:
  





User avatar
614 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 1106
Reviews: 614
Tue Feb 21, 2006 5:59 pm
Swires says...



This is the best installment so far, your writing has improved as you have worked through the saga.

Some one told me about no chat speak in a story, i dont really agree with that, but there the rules so ill obey them.
But not on the evil armada series, because it would make no sense what so ever, and the only way people are going to rate the story is if they can understand it.


The rule is in place because that if members cannot read your story then they wont crit it, also it standardises everything, people who use English as a second language may not understand chat speak therefore it is discrimatry which in the UK, I think US as well, is against the law, also for the blind who have pages read to them, the transcriber program cannot read text speak.

[/quote]
Previously known as "Phorcys"
Witherwings Harry Potter RPG
  





User avatar
614 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 1106
Reviews: 614
Tue Feb 21, 2006 5:59 pm
Swires says...



This is the best installment so far, your writing has improved as you have worked through the saga.

Some one told me about no chat speak in a story, i dont really agree with that, but there the rules so ill obey them.
But not on the evil armada series, because it would make no sense what so ever, and the only way people are going to rate the story is if they can understand it.


The rule is in place because that if members cannot read your story then they wont crit it, also it standardises everything, people who use English as a second language may not understand chat speak therefore it is discrimatry which in the UK, I think US as well, is against the law, also for the blind who have pages read to them, the transcriber program cannot read text speak.

[/quote]
Previously known as "Phorcys"
Witherwings Harry Potter RPG
  





User avatar
19 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 890
Reviews: 19
Tue Feb 21, 2006 6:30 pm
Killer-Ewok says...



oh i didnt realise, so how do i subtistuse the people speaking, beacuse i cant think of any other way to put it.
and thats gonna be annyoing.
  








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