z

Young Writers Society


the Rise



Random avatar


Gender: Male
Points: 890
Reviews: 44
Sun Jan 29, 2006 3:08 pm
Dynasty cow says...



"your wha...dont be stupid youll kill yourself "
"so"
"No, im not letting you , your mum and dad died to give you life and this is how you use it" i meant these words to hurt , and they did , she looked at me through grey eyes , her expresion full of sorrow "you dident have to bring that up"
"sorry" .

Haily was a special girl , she was the only person i know that will, without a seconds hesitation throw herself at a greyback , these creatures are sort of like the police for the empire , they serve the king Karsh . They are Beefed up were wolfs that have no will of there own , they listen to anyone that summons them, and in this case it was the Rich . The empire is made up of the Rich , the normals and us . "Scum" as we are called "do not feel , the most precious of all things . Imotion " those are the words of king Karsh , by saying this he has made it legal to hunt us , thats write , the rich hunt us with rifels , hounds, arrows any thing that can kill, they go on hunting trips for there entertainment , The word of the king is law so if we dont co-oporate we will be punished , we must run and make it an entertaining chase but in the end we let them take our lifes . your thinking , what punishment is worse than death , soul eating is . We are human just like them , but we are poorer , we have no voice .

Haily, me and twenty more adults make up the risistance , we fight the Grey backs with swords and tridents , we try to kill as many of the rich as possible but we hardly impact the surface , like a flea on a dogs ear ,one small shake and were all dead . But our leader , Mace sais theres a new task for us , one that will leave the rich shaken , hes going to tell us tonight what it is . *shall i keep writing this story to make it a novel ?*
  





User avatar
863 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Male
Points: 2090
Reviews: 863
Sun Jan 29, 2006 7:06 pm
Griffinkeeper says...



This is full of spelling and grammatical errors. You should fix these errors before continuing.
Moderator Emeritus (frozen in carbonite.)
  








how can i live laugh love in these conditions
— Orion42