Young Writers Society

He placed his neck key into a the lock on the chain, it vanished leaving a powder that fell to the floor.

Just a typo, take out the first 'the'.

The gold script became a blur as once more her eyes welled with tears of morning and anger.

Mourning is the word.

The Boatman is just like the Grim Reaper and something else. I can't add much to what everyone else has said. Good job though, I'll read the next part now.

Thanks for the crit, I edited my typos. Yes, the Boatman is a Grim Reaper type character apart from his appearance and way of killing.