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Young Writers Society


In the glass part 9



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Wed Nov 02, 2011 6:15 pm
Leahweird says...



“You know where she is, don’t you?”

He was surprised to hear Narissa’s voice. She hadn’t been speaking to him for days. “Is your magic not working?”

“I can’t find her, and you know why.”

“She’s under someone else’s protection,” he smirked. “Your powers are useless for this.”

“Then you have to tell me!”

“No. I’m stronger now. I don’t have to answer your questions.”

Narissa snarled at him and stormed out of the room. He still worried though. He wasn’t sure how long his bold statement would remain true. He tried to convince Snow that he should stop coming to see her, but she outright refused.

“I’m going out of my mind stuck here. I couldn’t stand it if I never saw you again.”

“We only have to wait until she stops looking for you.”

“But she might keep searching forever. I can’t stay here my entire life, especially not if you leave me.”

“I would never willingly abandon you. I just want you to stay safe. I couldn’t stand it something happened to you.”

“Do you think you’re the only one? I know I’m your only link to the world, but I care about you too.”

He wanted to tell her that she didn’t understand. While it was true that he might have been bound to anyone who opened the curtain, he adored her because she was the kind of girl who would. She was special because she would bother trying to help him.

But he could never tell her this. It would be too close to admitting how much he loved her. Sometimes he would imagine that she would love him back, but even if she could it didn’t matter. Narissa’s curse would keep them forever separated.

So he stayed silent, refusing to make his beloved miserable by confessing his feelings

He knew that something had changed when the witch appeared before him wearing a long black cloak. She looked younger. Something had happened to make her decide to use her favourite form.

“Do you like my costume?”

“What’s going on?”He asked. Narissa simply smiled at him.

“You shouldn’t have mocked me,” she said, drawing a small hand mirror out of the folds of her garment. “Now I have something to show you.”

She held the glass up for him to see. In it was a vision of Snow White, going about her day, alone and unprotected.

“No,” he breathed. Narissa had finally succeeded in her mission.

“Do you think I’m stupid?” said the witch. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out you’ve been using MY magic to visit your little girlfriend?”

“Please. Narissa, I’ve never asked you for anything, not even to release me. But I’m begging you now, don’t hurt her. I’ll do anything.

The witch shook her head. “I can see you’re finally starting to understand, but it’s too late. I can see that you will love her as long as she’s alive, and I can’t allow that.”

“Don’t!” he cried, but with swirl of her cape, the sorceress was gone.

He raced along the ethereal plane, trying to get to Snow before his mistress. He was too late though. There had obviously been a struggle. Chairs had been knocked into walls and the contents of the kitchen were strewn across the floor. Snow stood frozen in the centre of the room, clearly enthralled by Narissa's

Narissa saw him appear in Snow’s little mirror. Perhaps she had waited for him. She kept her eyes on him as she leaned and laid a kiss on her stepdaughters’ cheek.

He knew what it must have felt like. He remembered the sensation of the breath stopping in his throat and his body gradually refusing to obey him. But Snow White wasn’t being cursed. She was simply being murdered.

In jubilation Narissa began to roam the cottage. She picked up an apple that had settled near her foot, and bit into it with delight as her rival fell to the floor.

Spoiler! :
There's about two chapters to go I think.
Last edited by Leahweird on Sat Nov 26, 2011 7:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
  





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Wed Nov 02, 2011 9:15 pm
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Dragongirl says...



Ohhh, my favorite one so far. I can not critique this, I can only love it. I'm sorry Leah. I love how you've brought this story along. I'm on the edge of my seat. Must. Have. More.
Loved this bit.
“You shouldn’t have mocked me,” she said, drawing a small hand mirror out of the folds of her garment. “Now I have something to show you.”

She held the glass up for him to see. In it was a vision of Snow White, going about her day, alone and unprotected.

“No,” he breathed. Narissa had finally succeeded in her mission.

“Do you think I’m stupid?” said the witch. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out you’ve been using MY magic to visit your little girlfriend?”

“Please. Narissa, I’ve never asked you for anything, not even to release me. But I’m begging you now, don’t hurt her. I’ll do anything.

The witch shook her head. “I can see you’re finally starting to understand, but it’s too late. I can see that you will love her as long as she’s alive, and I can’t allow that.”

“Don’t!” he cried, but with swirl of her cape, the sorceress was gone.

Sorry for the rather usless comment.
~DG
"Every writer I know has trouble writing." - Joseph Heller

~ A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.~
- Bill Cosby
  





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136 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 2952
Reviews: 136
Wed Nov 02, 2011 10:37 pm
Leahweird says...



Knowing what turned out well is just as important as hearing what didn't. Thank you for the ego boost!
  








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