Young Writers Society

It seems to be that I can't find a proper opening for my novel series: Dust. Please help me choose one out of this list. :)


Death is nothing without pain. So far, that hasn't been a problem. Even if there is no pain to the victim slowly being wrapped by the dark blankets of death, it affects others. I see their clear salty tears sliding down their reddened cheeks in emotional pain. I don't find a point of crying over a death, when it'll just happen to yourself. Either by crimson lacerations across your body, or the last beat of your old heart. You won't be able to cry any more. And that pain will be passed on to another, and the process will repeat. There has already been too much suffering going on in the rest of the world. So why not let it take a break from latching on to any others. And just watch the blankets fall over the body, and take a small smile.






The memories kept blinding me from the world.
I walked down the dark street, fat droplets of rain falling onto my shoulder. The thought ran clear through my mind. It's not suppose to rain tonight. I saw a dark figure just down the concrete. I stopped and shoved my hands into my pockets. The dark silhouette stood still. It looks like some type of horse. And that was a problem. There wasn't any farm or stable for miles from this town. And no pasture to even keep one. So, I took one step closer.
I could see the real world again. And my clammy hands tightly wrapped around a purple flower. The moonlight shined upon my back, with hundreds of other stars helping light up the darkness. I never want that memory to come back anymore. I wish that the most horrible memories are never remembered. But I was wrong.

(And then there will be another paragrapgh of her dark memory and so on)




I stepped out into the courtyard, taking a glance at the rows of flowers around the edge of the iron fence. I had my hands neatly wrapped around a small neon-colored bird. I chirped and I opened my hands. I held it closer to the blue-sky, white puffy clouds rolling across the world. Soon, the bird took off with help from a gust of wind.
"Looks like you finally let that bird go." Valndra said. I turned around to look into her purple eyes, strands of black hair falling over her forehead. I slightly frowned when I saw what she wore. The black dress fell down to her ankles, the lace sleeves tightly clung to her arms. She always wore black, the color I hate the most. It reminded of some dark things, and the color of death.



So yah, those are three of some openings for the first chapter. Just want your opinion of which one will be the best, and why. :) Thank you.

Hi there!
Personally I liked the last opener the best and I'll do my best to explain why.
First off, it's the only one you've listed here with dialogue- not that dialogue is necessary, but sometimes I find it really helps to capture the reader's interest.
Also, you've introduced two characters, which (in my mind) seems vital for a first chapter. Descriptions on feelings, like in the first two openers, are nice, but I almost think either of those would make a decent prologue. A little giveaway on the main character's emotions.
Lastly, you've chosen a specific setting in the last opener: the courtyard. (Note: I realize there is a setting in the second opener, but it feels a little vague to me.) This immediately places an image of where you're characters are in the reader's head, which is also important for an opener.
All in all, I enjoyed reading each of your options, but I still think that the last opener is most suitable for the beginning of your first chapter.
I'm looking forward to reading more of you story, so best of luck, and happy writing
-Briggsy