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Anything But Normal~Chapter One, Part One

rayhutch5 · 2011-03-10T07:17:02Z

I looked at my small body in the mirror. The blue in the short, strapless dress brought out the blue specks in my dark grey eyes. My long, dark brown hair curled down my back and covered the part of my chest that the dress didn’t. It was exactly right for me. With the way it hugged my hips and fell softly over the upper part my legs, I knew I had to have it. I tugged the dress off and searched for the price tag. One hundred and twenty dollars for this one dress; that's ridiculous! I quickly pulled on my faded jeans and black v-neck, and stepped out of the dressing room. I walked over to the register where I saw a young cashier, looking to be in college. Perfect , I thought; noting his hazel eyes hiding slightly behind his shaggy brown hair. He looked up at me with a grin on his face as he said, “How can I help you?” “How much is this?” I asked, handing him the dress. He scanned the tag and said, “A hundred and twenty.” “Really? Dang it!” I said, trying to sound disappointed. “What?” “That’s a little out of my price range… Do you think you could give me a discount?” “Only employees receive discounts,” he replied quickly. Time to turn on the charm, I thought as I made sure to look up into his eyes. “You’re an employee, aren’t you..? I searched for his name tag but couldn’t find one. “Tom," he finished for me, realizing what I was looking for. “Tom,” I repeated, batting my eyelashes. I reached over and ran my fingers through his hair while I repeated his name again. “Now, are you sure that only employees receive discounts? Because I think it should be 75% off, don’t you?” “No,” he said and my face turned into a frown. “I think it should be free. My treat, gorgeous.” He stared into my eyes intently and I smiled in return. He seemed to melt. “How sweet,” I said although I knew this wasn’t out of the goodness of his heart. No, this was all me. I grabbed the black bag he handed me and turned to head for the door. Just before I stepped outside, I heard yelling from behind. I turned to see a woman yelling at Tom. “You can’t just hand free stuff away to every cute girl you see!” she shouted. “That’s coming out of your paycheck!” Tom was just beginning to come out of the trance that he had been in; shaking his head to free it of the fuzziness. I turned away, feeling sorry for him. That was, until I looked in my bag and saw the silk dress that I had just received without paying a cent. Seth is going to love this! I can’t wait to show him.

rayhutch5

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Fri Jun 10, 2011 5:56 am

rayhutch5 says... · Fri Jun 10, 2011 5:56 am

Thanks so much for the review, Jai! I really appreciate you taking the time to look over my mistakes (which, believe me, I know there are many in this novel)! I'll definitely keep what you have in mind when I do some serious editing on this in my second draft. Loved the review! :) I'm so glad you did it!

Rachael :D

"Everything has beauty, just not everyone sees it." -Jen Meyers

Anything But Normal

Quote

Once you have read a book you care about, some part of it is always with you.
— Louis L'Amour

Anything But Normal~Chapter One, Part One

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