Here There Be Dragons - 1

You sir (ahem, madam) are one talented writer!
I was immediately drawn into the story. I could imagine everything unfolding inside my head, I could see the dragon curled up in the cave, hear the youth below him cursing and the rocks from the cliff face breaking loose. And such humour! What a witty dragon, I must say. I could feel the character development building even in this short section. Truly amazing! I already feel legitimately concerned for both of these characters (the unlikely young hero in particuar) and I can't wait to read more! Truly outstanding! Man, I do believe you deserve all your fourteen likes - er, excuse me: fifteen. *likes*
Absolutely no grammatical nitpicks. Seriously, you're a brilliant writer. Definitely keep up the style, it really hooked me and it flows perfectly.
So, God bless, and for Heaven's sake, never, ever stop writing!!!
- Ignis

Wow, thank you all for your reviews!

I STRONGLY recommend you stop this. I'm sorry, I just can't keep writing a review for every excellent piece of writing you create. You waste too much of my time. Plus you make me jealous. . I think I've made it clear I'm going to read ALL your chapters. Post it all before I get to the end please. Thank you. ( haha , please don't take me seriously. Don't stop this. Ever)

haha , please don't take me seriously. Don't stop this. Ever

Wow, Palip! I was going to say! ;P

RH, if you ever stop this I will never forgive you! I actually might go and cry in a quiet corner somewhere... And what are you doing reading this? You should be writing more! ;P Just kidding, although the next chapter would be nice...?

(:

It was an enjoyable story overall, but it would be nice if you specified exactly what time period it's set in--if this is one of those traditional dragon-tales that are set in the time they actually believed in dragons, or if it is pretty much set in our time--with Ipods and BlackBerry's and such. When the dragon described the pitiful state of humanity, it felt more like he was making jest at our popular contemporary office culture, rather than 13th-17th century time-frame, as people weren't nearly as job-oriented then as they are now.
Secondly, it ended rather abruptly, so I would replace that instead with a cliff-hanger of some kind--like dangling the knight from a cliff, from which only the dragon could possibly save him.
On an unrelated note, the title inevitably reminded me of one of my favorite episodes of the Billy & Mandy cartoon series--"Here Thar Be Dwarves".

I will go off now to read the following chapters.

I love this story! :) You should definitely stick with the narrative style since it's different, fits perfectly, and allows you to add a ton of witty and humorous lines. I feel that your main character is very well developed and has a nice perspective on things. :) I'm quite surprised that I found absolutely no nitpicks, since I pick on just about anything. I enjoyed reading this, and sincerely hope you continue writing it. Thanks for the read! I'm looking forward to the next chapter and those to follow! :)

I've been waiting to read this, and I wasn't disappointed. I mean who wouldn't like a good story about dragons? Dragons rock. I think that this was actually better than I expected it would be, no bluff. Good job on it, good job. I can't pick a favorite part, either, that's how good it is.

Day-um. Okay, you are now my favorite author on here (No offense to you others reading this!) Seriously, I've read a lot of books on the dragon subject (I'm into the supernatural/fantasy crap) and none of them are like this. They always portray the dragon as a weak piece of crap, or a murderous beat who has no mind of his own. It (the chapter) was better than my favorite sitcom, and I really have nothing bad to say about it.

Excellent! XD As other people have already said, the narrative is enjoyable. The dragon's character really comes through in the voice. Always a good thing. I liked how he compared himself to a cat twice, and then pointed it out.

The only thing about this that I didn't like is that we don't get to see how he's going to mess with the knight's head right away.

Well... This is probably the worst review I've ever written, but other people already pointed things out, and I'm not sure what else to say other than, "I liked it."

So... Excellent work. Keep it up. XD

I cried when this stopped. Why did you stop writing???? I am in love with this piece of writing and I must say it's better than my own. You are amazing and talented and don't let anyone tell you different. I could not find really anything I was not satisfied with. There was one offset bracket that I don't feel was needed because the reading didn't flow in my head. Everything else flowed fine.

Besides, it roiled his blood and made him much tastier than when they were frozen in fear (though of course I’d take one of those in a jiffy; can’t have the best all the time, now can we?).

That's is all I have to say.
Oh and you better keep working on this story!!

Hi there Clockie! I know this is kind of old, but I wanted to read/review each chapter, so I'm starting with the beginning. :]

This is fairly well-polished, so I'm actually going to do a few nit-picks.

People are, in my opinion, some of the stupidest creatures in existence. Now, seeing as you’re most likely a human yourself, give me a moment to explain.

Seems a little strange to me that you'd use the word "person" in the first sentence, rather than "human." I'm not sure why you did that. Maybe you wanted to avoid repetitiousness? But I actually think the repetition of "human" would work nicely here. Anyhow, it's up to you of course, but when I read it it sort of screamed "I wanna be human instead!" to me, so I thought I'd point it out. ^_^

You’ll die soon enough anyway, whether in battle or from disease or old age to give it much worry.

This might just be me, but I'm not really sure how to read that underlined part. Are you trying to say not to worry about it? If so, then why didn't you say "so don't give it much worry" or something like that? Again, I might just be being my usual doofus-self, but this sentence confused me.

Of course, there are those rare exceptions. Those foolishly altruistic, idealistic humans who rave about peace between species and coexistence and are always written off as insane before they up and die. One of these pops up every century or so. I’ve met one. It was a long time ago; his bones are rotting in the ground now, I think. But I have the memories.

This switch strikes me as a little sudden. One second he sounds all sarcastic and cold towards the humans that want peace between races, and the next moment he's reminiscing with apparent nostalgia and love. I'd say either make the transition less extreme or more gradual.

Call it the cat in me, but I always liked to give a young knight the feeling like he could possibly win the fight. Besides, it roiled his blood and made him much tastier than when they were frozen in fear (though of course I’d take one of those in a jiffy; can’t have the best all the time, now can we?).

I thought this switch between "he" and "they" was a little weird. Since the last sentence wouldn't really work as "he," I suggest you change the whole thing to "they" like so: "Call it the cat in me, but I always liked to give young knights the feeling like they could possibly win the fight. Besides, it roiled their blood and made them much tastier than when they were frozen in fear (though of course I’d take one of those in a jiffy; can’t have the best all the time, now can we?)."

The youth, in the meantime, had regained his breath and his feet, and stood warily at the edge of the cave, swaying a little as he tried to get a good look inside. The closed helmet on his head couldn’t have helped much, but he evidently felt like he should be prepared for whatever was inside (as if a bit of metal could protect him from my wrath, should I choose to unleash it!).

This repetition was a little distracting--maybe make the second one be "in the cave"?

I toyed with the idea of simply converging on him with a frightening roar, to get that heart pumping, but I have to admit my appetite had gone a little sour at seeing how bony he’d be—not much meat or substance there.

You have a fantastic vocabulary, and it makes me feel illiterate in comparison sometimes... but is it just me, or are you using "converge" incorrectly? I always thought it meant a few things coming together and joining, like when two or three streams turn into one river--seems like an odd word choice, to me. But I might be wrong.
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Overall, I really liked this! The character is hugely amusing and his narrative is addicting to read, that's for sure. His arrogance and jaded wit remind me a lot of Bartimaeus, which is definitely a good thing. I agree with Jet that he sounds extremely English--though, being American and ignorant, it sounded perfectly genuine to me. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were English yourself. There's not much else to say, but I do like this. A lot. If I picked up a book in the library and this was how it started, I'd definitely get it out/read on. Nice work.

I see that people have been talking about your use of interjections, especially with parenthesis. Well, I actually like it. It adds character and uniqueness to his voice. Like how Bartimaeus was always using footnotes. ^_^ I think it works really well. Having a character's voice extend even to the technicalities of their grammar really helps them come alive. However! I think you need to watch out for repetitive sentence structure. You do a lot of having two fragments or short sentences joined together by a semi-colon. A lot of it. Let me show you a few examples:

But no, no, you couldn’t do that; you have to go and drag my kin and I into your little matters—especially those of love.

Couldn’t make do with any of the females in your own village who are of the same stock and breed as yourself; no, you have to go for the finest of the brood.

It was a long time ago; his bones are rotting in the ground now, I think.

The noises stopped; he was frozen again, most likely praying fervently and gathering his courage.

I yawned; at the rate he was going, he would become my afternoon collation instead of my lunch.

But then, I was always such a sporting chap; wouldn’t be quite fair, and I could wait a little longer.

Those were just the first few, there's more than that. I have to say, it got a bit tiring after a while, so just watch out for it. :]

Other than that, there's not really much that I can point out. I'm sorry this was so nit-picky! Of course, let me know if you have questions or the like.

Onto chapter 2. :}

Mwha!

(You can take that as an evil chuckle or kissing sound.)

This is excellent, lol. Really nice and fun! A rollicking kind of ride. I kind of think you have a parentheses fetish, but I'll let that one slide.

And... I have comments! Because we love comments? I don't know if there is any overlap between other comments, but... well... I am lazy and don't want to go through two pages of comments. So, yep.

Now, all this would be just fine and dandy for you; I wouldn’t be complaining if I’d just be left well enough alone. But no, no, you couldn’t do that; you have to go and drag my kin and I into your little matters—especially those of love.

Oh yes, you humans spend a good deal of time worrying about that. Couldn’t make do with any of the females in your own village who are of the same stock and breed as yourself; no, you have to go for the finest of the brood. And look where it ends you up; she gives you some material token as a pledge, and you sally forth to do “brave deeds.”

Even this would be ridiculous but innocuous—save for the fact that the most popular of your deeds is to kill off my type.

It’s quite sickening, really.

I think there's too much commentary in here, but not enough action. I think it might be fun if you could talk about some of the final speeches of the knights in shining armor before the dragon decided to roast him like a hot dog, lol.

It was back a couple hundred years ago, when I was living in the pleasant countryside of Westerfold…

Ehhhhhhhhhhh. I think the prologue may be better suited as the beginning of Chapter 1. That's just my opinion though! Actually, all of this critique is my opinion, lol. Except for the evil laugh/kiss thing. That's more like a stupid noise... not really an opinion there!

I kept my eyes closed (it’s best to never let on that you know they’re there; then they get all panicked and try something foolhardy. Much easier to pretend you’re unaware of their presence until—whoop!—they’re in your stomach). But I was listening intently, and with an inward sigh realized what it was.

I like the fact that the dragon listened -- but I wished the dragon smelled as well. After all, smell is intrinsically related to taste!

This is fun. I'm definitely going to attack the rest of the chapters!