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Lauren2010
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Points 370
Reviews 541
Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:11 pm
Lauren2010 says... · Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:11 pm
Thanks to everyone who reviewed! This is currently being rewritten.
Got YWS?
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Daisy131Spoink
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Sun Jan 31, 2010 6:22 am
Daisy131Spoink says... · Sun Jan 31, 2010 6:22 am
At first I thought that Natura's name was Naruto, HAHAHAHA Ignore that anyway so.....critique time. I really think that this is good, I mean it is short and has a few grammer mistakes but still I really liked it. Nice names to....very different!
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borntobeawriter
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Sun Feb 07, 2010 3:31 pm
borntobeawriter says... · Sun Feb 07, 2010 3:31 pm
Hey Lauren,

Great Chapter! I'm really enjoying this lovely tale so far. As far as 'grammar' mistakes, I only noticed one:

The conversation didn’t help to keep the nightmare at bat.
Um, I think you mean at 'bay'? ;)


That's it for now, it was excellent, I'm going to the next!! :D

Tanya
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3 posts


When your heart gets pierced with arrows, don't rip them out and pierce those around you in retribution for your hurt. You'll only unnecessarily wound others and bleed to death yourself.
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