Soulless [Chapter Four]

Thanks to everyone who posted comments on previous posts! Your comments are greatly appreciated and helped immensely!

I sat up, and the red linen sheets that surrounded me fell to my waist.

It's probably just the nit pick in me speaking, but this sentence bothered me a bit. I'd personally get rid of "that surrounded me". If you do that, it's already implied that she's surrounded by them, and I can't explain why, but the wording you had felt like there was a better way to say it but you chose this way instead... I hope you get what I'm trying to say.

The room was slightly humid, but the window was cracked to invite a breeze in, and red curtains danced as the wind cooled my face.

This sentence goes on a little too long. Make the "and red curtains.... my face" part it's own sentence, getting rid of the comma and the "and". So it will be "Red curtains danced... my face". That'll work nicely.

I exited the room and began down a hallway. There were three other doors, hanging ajar.

I know she went through a door, but you don't say she did. She "exited the room". So when you say "other doors" the "other" feels unnecessary since in the reader's mind, there are no other doors but those three.

There were two black wall sconces attached to the red wine coloured walls

First, it's "colored" not "coloured". Next, change "wall sconces" to just "sconces" since you mention they're on the wall later. It lowers repetition. Also, add in these hyphens "the red-wine-colored walls". I think you may have another like this, but I can't remember... Anyway, as a side note, not many people know what a sconce is. I personally thought you were talking of the sconces of castle times, where they held torches. Then I google imaged it. Now I know it is used in modern-time lighting as well (unless you did mean torches, in which case you should make it more apparent). Now, my point is that since not many people know for sure what it is, you should add some description to it to make it obvious it's a light fixture. This is something you should do with most things anyway. Moving on.

This time it was a royal blue, and had six doors appose to four, only three of which were open.

No comma after "blue". Change "appose" to "opposed"

I entered the first open door and felt myself take in my breath.

In first person the repetition of words like "I" or "my" are always a danger, so as the Author you must limit them wherever possible. Although this particular part isn't that bad of repetition, you should change "my breath" to "a breath". It also feels a little less clumsy for some reason.

The ceiling was carved with an abundant of Celtic knots,

You mean "abundance" not "abundant".

I stood staring at the books, my mind lost in the wonder and awe.

I think you should mention where the books actually are. I know, I know. Shelves, duh. But still, you should mention it.

I whirred around.

Whirred: to make a soft swishing sound; "the motor whirred"
That's an online dictionary excerpt. I think you meant "I whirled around". If she was whirring, she may be weirder than I thought...

And for the first time, I noticed a white bandaging around his shoulder, like gauze.

This is the first time she's seen him since the attack, so of course it's her first time noticing the bandages since they weren't there before. Get rid of "And for the first time,". Everything else you can keep.

“Adam Stonehawk,” I begun again, trying to shake off the feeling of déjà vu by matching his grin

You mean "began" not "begun".

On the far side, the wall was not a wall, but a large window that took up almost the entire wall.

Just for your own use in the future, these windows are called floor-to-ceiling windows.

He stood at them in horror before looking at me ruefully.

He stood at them? You mean stared?

The straight, caramel hair, the black silk cloak, the glittering scythe…
I felt myself swaying on my feet. The concentration was too much effort. Too much exertion.
Adam was by my side again, holding me up. “Good, Ronnie.”
I opened my eyes and looked up at him blearily. “Did I say that out loud?”
He nodded, and I looked away.

Didn't she basically already tell him that, though? In the next draft, I'd go back and have a defining feature on her that could be brought up, like a scar, a tattoo (nothing big and nasty, though. Probably subtle), or something else.

The door was only opened a crack, like in his hast,

What's a "hast"?

Overal, once again, it was great! But there are a few more things I want to go over.
1) When she woke up in this strange house and was wandering through it, you may have mentioned once that her heart was thumping, but you didn't present any of her thoughts. What was she thinking at these times? There wasn't much confusion. She just got up and started wandering. Also, why would the exiting staircase be within one of the children's rooms? It seems like odd placement.

2) Ronnie was a little too taken with this boy. I can understand some feelings, but she was a mess. Tone it down some. When her attraction to him is so obvious, it makes whatever relationship there is down the road less enjoyable. You can give hints in her behavior and can mention her heart thumping and whatnot, but you just took it a little far for me.

Otherwise, I enjoyed this once again. Good job! Can't wait for the next part!