Nightly Sonata-Prologue (edited)

Prologue:

My name is Ryan. Over the last decade, I have gotten myself in the middle of a bloody war between blood-thirsty creatures of the night. Both sides were out to get me. I knew there had to be a way to save my own kind from the death and pain the monsters had it in for them, but first I had to survive long enough to find out how...

I readied my crossbow, unable to fully concentrate or grasp the fight before me. Guilt nagged at my conscience for letting it come this far. I could not help fearing for the hooded figure at my side, so young and foolish. His eyes glowed a dim purple light, his lips were curled up in a snarl, I could feel the tenseness in his body, ready to strike. The near future seemed destined to destroy one of us, carved in stone, set no matter how much we tried to steer it off-course.

My distraction could, in part, be blamed on our surroundings. Though it was night, the large field was elegantly lit by the colorfull luminescent plants covering the ground beneath us. They streched for as far as I could see, disturbed in the distance by large shadows. A brilliantly lit sky above us only added to the fields' mysticity.

My insides lurched as shadows charged at us with extraordinary speed, faintly visible from the glow of the full moon above us. Familiar roars and growls seemed to shake the ground beneath me with their loudness and power as the blood-thirsty demons approached us, and I felt hopeless. We couldn’t win.

Yet one of us had to live. I cursed as I pressed the trigger and saw a shining black arrow slice through the air into the closest shadow, scattering the others as an unbelievably loud screech echoed through the night air.

My companion and I readied ourselves for the oncoming inferno, awaiting the pain and death charging to meet us.

Hey Gabe, welcome to YWS I'm Peanut.
I thought this was very good for one of your first jobs. It was very short though. I thought they were in a battle but couldn't really tell. If they were than what did it look like, that's the only thing that bothered me because all I knew was that he was fighting demons. I think if you made it just a little longer it would help, but for now it's fine. Hope I helped, I'm not really sure if any of that made sense, but good luck. PM me if you have any questions.
~peanut~

You're missing out on a lot of details, it seems. For instance, the narrator: boy or girl? Young or old? Which of the two must live?
The writing style was pretty good, and I liked the description of the narrator's guilt. A couple of places stuck, like "The near future seemed destined to destroy one of us". Instead of that, I would recommend using the word "set" instead of "destined". It would aid the flow of the sentance, and clear up a bit of uncertainty.
Aside from those things I mentioned (detailing and sentance flow), you did pretty well. Just don't stereotype demons as shadows. Some of them actually look pretty human.

This was pretty good even though it was only a few paragraphs.
Though I would have to say that to be a prologue it needs to be longer.
Make sure a prologue is really the way to go for your story. Sometimes prologues aren't really needed and can either be made into chapter 1 or the information revealed in the prologue could be spread throughout the rest of the story. Make sense a little?
Otherwise, I think that those few paragraphs are just fine. More description would make it better but thats up to you.

Welcome again!

hey im new at this whole shtick too so maybe i can provide a helping hand.

kay here's the nit picky specific problems

I readied my crossbow, unable to fully concentrate or grasp the fight before me

eliminate fully. it is an adverb and adverbs are serious bad juju. if you just he couldn't comprehend/ grasp
that is enough for the reader to get the idea.

Guilt nudged at my conscience for letting it come this far.

guilt nudged? i don't think that that is the right word. perhaps you mean nagged?

I could feel the tenseness in his body, ready to strike

make this its own sentence. and is tenseness the right word. doesn't sound quite right to me

faintly visible from the glow of the full moon above us

it seems hard to remove faintly but try something like "visible only by the light of the moon above."

Familiar roars and growls seemed to shake the ground beneath me with their loudness

again, loudness had that same sound to it that tenseness did.it doesn't quite feel right if you know what i mean

I cursed loudly as I pressed the trigger and saw a shining black arrow slice through the air into the closest shadow

is the loudly part necessary? remove if it isn't. seriously avoid adverbs.

scattering the others as an unbelievably loud scream of pain echoed through the night air.

ADVERBS IS NO-NOS. if you really want to emphasize that point call it a screech or something.

Okay now the general stuff.

first off you need to define your character a little more. who is he/she? why is he/she there? what is he/she?

second it should be a little longer. well maybe not but it needs a little more depth.

7/10

Hey everyone and I am really thankfull for all your comments.
I'd never would have noticed the whole adverb thing, so thanks for pointing that out.
I had this picture in my head, and I think I didn't do a good job of describing it...
I'll be more descriptive in the first chapter, and it won't short like the prologue, I
ll actually get own and write.