Chronicals of the Orderen-Chapter 1

2 posts
User avatar
last mohican
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 27
Sun Jul 30, 2006 3:30 pm
last mohican says... · Sun Jul 30, 2006 3:30 pm
This post has been temporarily removed.
Last edited by last mohican on Tue Mar 25, 2008 2:18 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Quote




User avatar
Ares
Gender Male
Points 1068
Reviews 164
Mon Jul 31, 2006 8:39 pm
Ares says... · Mon Jul 31, 2006 8:39 pm
The ending's a bit foggy, but apart from that it's a nice beginning. Some elaboration, spacing, and revision would do it some good though.
Quote

2 posts


The magic is only in what books say, how they stitched the patches of the universe together into one garment for us.
— Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451