Young Writers Society

He lay there. He had no idea how long he had laid there. It may have been mere minutes perhaps many centuries. Impossibly long or a fraction of a second. He had no sense of time or sense of anything yet for the matter.
He was the size of a large cat, but thin. His most striking feature would be his eyes if it were not the fact he had wings. His eyes were green, blue and like cat's eyes-going from narrow slits to wide orbs as they adjusted to the light. His wings of coarse were his most amazing feature. Like bat's wings they were-but green. Out of the middle of his head was a gnarled horn. Down his spine were orange spikes. Long kangaroo like ears protruded from his head swiveling. He had a handsome wolf like face not at all reptilian, besides his nose was two slits but more like a horse than a lizard. Odd because he was coved in green scales his mouth had two ivory fangs just showing. Like a dog his legs were under him but unlike a dog he had long talons and hawk like feet.
He weakly raised his head and looked around . He cautiously shifted to a sitting position. Looking around he saw he was on a hill, halfway up it. There were a few scant plants on it. At the bottom of the hill was a rarely used road. Across the road stretched golden fields of grain. A lone tree grew in the distance. At least he saw it- he had no idea what he was actually looking at.

A look at the first paragraph:

He lay there. He had no idea how long he had laid there.

This sounds really choppy, to no positive effect — cut out "He lay there" and start the story with the second sentence.

Also, "he had laid" should be "he had lain.

Nice start, by the by. It's simple but interesting, which is always good.

It may have been mere minutes perhaps many centuries. Impossibly long or a fraction of a second.

There should be a comma after "minutes", and I'd suggest combining these two sentences. It'd only require sticking an em dash after "centuries," and putting "impossible" in lowercase, so:

It may have been mere minutes, perhaps many centuries — impossibly long or a fraction of a second.

Otherwise, those two sentences sound stilted and kind of awkward.

He had no sense of time or sense of anything yet for the matter.

There should be a comma after "anything".

"Yet" is unnecessary — cut it out. So, for that matter, is the second use of "sense". And for emphasis, I'd suggest sticking an em dash in between "time" and "or". Which would give you:

He had no sense of time — or of anything, for that matter.

That's just the first paragraph, but hopefully that gives you an idea of some of the things you can change.

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A few notes about the overall story:

- Format. The story at its current length isn't an eyesore to read, but it's always refreshing to read a properly formatted story. All it needs is double-spacing after each paragraph.

So an ordinary, unformatted passage:

He lay there. He had no idea how long he had laid there. It may have been mere minutes perhaps many centuries. Impossibly long or a fraction of a second. He had no sense of time or sense of anything yet for the matter.
He was the size of a large cat, but thin. His most striking feature would be his eyes if it were not the fact he had wings. His eyes were green, blue and like cat's eyes-going from narrow slits to wide orbs as they adjusted to the light. His wings of coarse were his most amazing feature. Like bat's wings they were-but green. Out of the middle of his head was a gnarled horn. Down his spine were orange spikes. Long kangaroo like ears protruded from his head swiveling. He had a handsome wolf like face not at all reptilian, besides his nose was two slits but more like a horse than a lizard. Odd because he was coved in green scales his mouth had two ivory fangs just showing. Like a dog his legs were under him but unlike a dog he had long talons and hawk like feet.

becomes

He lay there. He had no idea how long he had laid there. It may have been mere minutes perhaps many centuries. Impossibly long or a fraction of a second. He had no sense of time or sense of anything yet for the matter.

He was the size of a large cat, but thin. His most striking feature would be his eyes if it were not the fact he had wings. His eyes were green, blue and like cat's eyes-going from narrow slits to wide orbs as they adjusted to the light. His wings of coarse were his most amazing feature. Like bat's wings they were-but green. Out of the middle of his head was a gnarled horn. Down his spine were orange spikes. Long kangaroo like ears protruded from his head swiveling. He had a handsome wolf like face not at all reptilian, besides his nose was two slits but more like a horse than a lizard. Odd because he was coved in green scales his mouth had two ivory fangs just showing. Like a dog his legs were under him but unlike a dog he had long talons and hawk like feet.

Like I said before, it's not such a big deal since the story is currently pretty short. But the visibility of the story is so much better if you format (and all it requires it hitting "Enter" an extra time!), and it makes the narrative much easier for a reader to process.

- Sentence structure. Take this passage, for example:

He was the size of a large cat, but thin. His most striking feature would be his eyes if it were not the fact he had wings. His eyes were green, blue and like cat's eyes-going from narrow slits to wide orbs as they adjusted to the light. His wings of coarse were his most amazing feature.

The sentence structure is unvaried for four sentences. That may not seem like a big deal, but it really is. Unvaried sentence structure curtails the flow of the story, and it makes the narrative seem clumsy and stilted. In the same way, several short sentences used together makes a story look especially choppy; if that's the effect you were going for (and sometimes it might be), then it's alright. But as it stands now, some of these passages are needlessy choppy. With a little bit of variety, you can liven the story up.

With all that said and done, you've got an interesting beginning, albeit kind of short. Good luck with wherever you take this.

This was pretty good. You did a good job on describing your creature but, that is the thing you only described the creature then, you ended. I know what your thinking: If I end it like this then readers will come back for more but, that is not true all of the time. The reason readers continue reading a story is because it has a likeable character and an interesting plot but if you introduce your character and story like this then I can almost gurantee that most of the readers that read this won't come back for the next chapter. Why? Because they don't know the character yet, they don't know the plot yet and they don't care about what happens to the character. One of the most crucial things to grabbing readers in the YWS is to start off with a bang. Introduce your character and give a hint of the main plot in the first chapter. Because if people don't come to like your characters in the first chapter then why would they keep reading?

Your description was extremely vivid , in one sence this was good but you should let your readers immaginations breath, let them build up some parts in there own mind+you could of put a bit of what he was thinking , i mean now all i see is an odd breed of dragon who i care nothing for, i agree with twilight , youve got to build charector of some level

The idea of a wolf dragon was so coool!, it felt so noble , a tiger sized wolf with wings , i dont think you should of included fangs and a horn, this goes against your description as non reptilian.

but dont get me wrong, if you take a bit more time on structuring( by which i mean try to balance out the description , with what the charecters thinking and the sorroundings and a relative contiousness of the dudes situation, but in this case its okay cause your story has just started.

carry on this story, its really original and it built a picture in my head.