Young Writers Society

He was turned away from me, unmoving. I couldn’t tell if he was breathing. “No, no, no, no, no, Eugene!” I pulled his limp form into my arms. Thank god, he was. For how long, I didn’t know. He coughed weakly and his eyes fluttered open. His eyes. Those beautiful amber eyes. They had always been lit with a fire of its own, and slowly but surely, that fire was going out. “ Look at me, look at me. I’m right here, don’t go, stay with me Eugene!” I pulled his hand to my cropped hair, franticly trying to save him. “Flower gleam and glow,” He called out weakly. “Rapunzel.” I kept going. “Let your power shine,” “Hey,” “Make the clock reverse, bring back what once was mine,” “Rapunzel!” He pulled gently on my hair, then let his hand slide down to my shoulder. I looked down. He was deathly pale. The end was fast approaching. “What?” He took a breath. Probably his last. “You were my new dream.” I smiled ruefully. “And you were mine.” He smiled back, and with a weak gasp, he was gone. His hand went limp, and I lowered it to the floor. I sat there for a moment. How did everything go so wrong? One minute I was living my dream, the next, my dream was dead in my arms. “Heal what has been hurt, change the fate’s design,” I knew there was nothing I could do for him, but it made me feel better, just to try. “Save what has been lost, bring back what once was mine,” I pulled his face closer to mine. I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. I choked out the last line. “Bring back what once was mine.” I closed my eyes. I kept praying he would stir. But there was nothing. “This is all my fault. She was right. I never should have done this. I’m…” The tears ran down my cheeks. I kissed his cold lips. Our first kiss. Our last kiss. “I’m so sorry, Eugene.”



One year. One year and a day since I met him. Almost a year since I lost him. And today, it had been a year since I fell in love with him. My parents were having a ball to “celebrate my nineteenth birthday”, but I knew the real reason. To find someone to marry me off to. I knew they just wanted me to be happy. They had been there for me through it all, when they brought his body back, the funeral, the nightmares. They had even gone with me to his grave to thank him for saving me. But they had decided I had had enough time to grieve. You need to move on, they said, he would want you to be happy. You didn’t know him, I shouted back, you only knew Flynn Rider, I knew the real him. That fight had lead to many more fights until I finally decided to give the ball a shot. But none of the men seemed right. At first I couldn’t put my finger on it, but after I turned down a very good looking prince for a dance for the umpteenth time, it clicked. They all reminded me of Eugene. Whether it was their eyes, their hair, their smile, I could always find something to remind me of him, ending any chance of a future relationship. If I was going to be in love again, it would have to be with the complete opposite of Eugene, someone like… I looked over in the corner. Someone like him. He was small, almost as small as me, with pale skin and the most white-blond hair I’d ever seen. He looked shy. The complete opposite, hmmm? I thought and smiled. Perfect. I walked over. “Hello.” He looked up startled. “Your highness.” He bowed. He had pale blue eyes. “I’m Prince Samuel of Andalasia, but you can call me Sam.” “Nice to meet you Sam. You can call me Rapunzel. Would you like to dance?” He said yes and thus began my romance with the Crown Prince of Andalasia. But every kiss, every hug, I felt like I was stabbing Eugene, right in the heart.



I set my crown on top of my head, trying to hold in the tears. I know, a lot of brides cry on their wedding day, but these weren’t happy tears. I felt like I was betraying him, marrying someone else. It just didn’t feel right. But I couldn’t back out now, it would be unfair to Sam. I was starting to finally fall in love with him, but I knew I would never love him like I loved Eugene. I smoothed out the creases in my skirt. “Oh, man. I don’t have an old.” I had everything else, my new, (A necklace that Sam gave me) my borrowed, ( Some white silk slippers from my mom) my blue (Pascal of course) and sixpence in my shoe. But no old. Someone placed a hair clip in my hand. “Will this work?” I turned in over. It was made of silver, intricately carved, with a large butterfly in the center. “Wow, that’s really nice.” “It was my mom's.” “Thank…” I pinned in in my hair, turning around and the words froze on my lips. Eugene was just standing there, leaning against the wall and smiling, like it was perfectly normal to see your dead lover on your wedding day. He was wearing the same clothes he had died in, hair tussled, eyes burning. He had a faint glow surrounding him. “Hi.”



He walked over to me and brushed my hair out of my face. “ I missed you. You look beautiful.” Everything I knew fell apart around me. “Eugene? But… but you…” “Died? Yeah, I did. But I’ve always been here. It’s just that now you can see me.” I couldn’t get a full word out. Pascal crawled under the door, wondering what was taking me so long. His mouth dropped open and he turned a bright shade of red. Eugene chuckled. “I missed you too, frog.” Pascal looked at me like “What the hell is going on?” “I have no idea.” I looked back at Eugene's...whatever he was. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry about what happened in the tower.” “Don’t be. I made my own choices, and I don’t regret them. The only thing I regret is leaving you. It wasn’t fair and I’m so sorry.” I felt tears run down my cheeks. “Oh Eugene.” I pulled him closer and kissed him hard on the lips. A kiss I thought would never happen, but was. He hugged me close to his chest. It was weird being hugged by a dead man. No heartbeat, no slow rise and fall of his chest. But it still felt good to touch him again. He kissed my hair. “Now go and blow their socks off.” I looked up at him. “You’ll stay with me right?” “Of course. I’ll always be here for you. You just may not see me.” I nodded and walked over to the door. I turned to say thank you, but he was gone. But he’ll never really leave me, I thought. I smiled, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

This was a one of a kind piece, for sure. I have never before seen a story like this on young writers. I like it though, that your piece dares to be different, it definitely stands out, in a good way to.
I like how you tied in lyrics to your story. It kind of makes a lead up, gives you a taste of what the story will be about, a lost love.
Rapunzel was a very intriguing topic, I liked it. A fantasy Rapunzel for adults, something teenagers could relate to.
This was a good piece, very thought up, but unique.

Hey!

I really liked this. Tangled is an awesome film, and I think this was a great fanfiction in relation to it.
I would suggest that you split the text between the lyrics into paragraphs, instead of having it as one block.
Here, also, the bits in bold need to have speech marks around them, and they need to be put on a new line. Then, when Rapunzel talks, her speech needs to be on a new line.

But they had decided I had had enough time to grieve. You need to move on, they said, he would want you to be happy. You didn’t know him, I shouted back, you only knew Flynn Rider, I knew the real him.

Otherwise, I loved it!
Holly