Young Writers Society

In the early hours of the morning, when the sky was lit from the sun even before it had poked its face above the horizon, a rooster crowed it's song to the dawn. One ear perked up, hearing it as a daily alarm. With a groan, the Pegasus rolled over, trying to enjoy the last few moments of warmth under her covers. Something felt odd against her back as she rolled, causing the half-asleep pony to scowl, but not open her eyes yet. She stretched out her legs, yawning loudly and rolling back to her belly, getting her feet under her.
She made her way heavily out of bed, moving with the half-asleep saunter of the morning. Something was clearly off about her, but she couldn't place what with her foggy mind. Her half-open eyes only took in enough about her room to keep her from running into anything. She passed by the mirror with a yawn, passing a sidelong glance at it as she passed.
Suddenly, she stopped, blinking drowsily. Confused, the Pegasus backed up a few steps, glancing at her side-view in the mirror. She stretched her wings, giving them an experimental flap as she stared at them, the fogginess leaving her mind.
"What in tar nation-?"

In another part of Pony-ville, an earth-pony snored ungracefully. She was sprawled among her tangled sheets. Her alarm beeped, causing her snores to catch as she opened her eyes slightly. She made a noise of protest, rolling over to stick her head beneath her pillow, her rump up in the air. After a few minutes she fell back into the warm embrace of sleep… only to be awoken by the sound of ponies outside, going about their daily routines as they passed her home.
She opened her eyes again, peering at her alarm from under her pillow. Her eyes snapped open as she shot up, the pillow still resting on her head.
"I overslept!" She cried, galloping out of bed. She ran back and fourth, trying to quickly prepare for the day. Somewhere in this process the pillow fell off, lying battered on the floor while the pony ran about. After gathering what she needed, the pony threw open her window and leapt out, stretching her front legs out towards the open sky…
And then the pony fell, landing hard in front of a surprised pair of ponies.

A pony with long pink hair opened her eyes daintily, letting out a tiny yawn. She nuzzled the sleeping rabbit by her bedside gently, trying to rouse him from his sleep. He waved her away, curling back up into a ball as she moved on to wake the other manners of critters in her home.
"It's time to wake up, everyone." She called softly. The rabbit she had tried to wake raised it's head to shoot her a look, but then stopped, staring at the pony in shock.
"Come, now, you know it's impolite to stare." The pony said, lowering her head self-consciously. "Is there something on my face?"
The rabbit hopped over to a side table, digging around in a drawer until it found what it was looking for- a handheld mirror. He held it up so the pony could view her reflection.
Her eyes widened as she stared at her reflection. "Oh, my."

A unicorn leaps out of bed at her alarm, giggling. She galloped about, wondering what sort of fun thing to do today. She could possibly pull pranks, or throw a party, or-
She paused in front of her mirror, staring, wide-eyed, at her reflection. For a moment even she was silent.
And then the moment was broken as she fell over, laughing hysterically.

Another Pegasus woke, giving herself a nice stretch before making her way to her bathroom to groom herself for the morning. It would most likely be a slow day, she had very few orders due, so she might spend it gathering materials and such.
She moved automatically to the sink, splashing water on her face to remove the mud masque she had put on during the night. As she rubbed the masque off, she paused, moving her hooves to her bare forehead. They lingered there a moment before she opened her eyes, taking it in. At the same time her eyes caught the wings on her back, and she opened them wide, letting them catch the light from the skylight as she stared at them in awe.

And from the center of Pony-ville, a scream issued from the top floor of a library built into a tree.

In the early hours of the morning, when the sky was lit from the sun even before it had poked its face above the horizon, a rooster crowed it's song to the dawn. One ear perked up, hearing it as a daily alarm. With a groan, the Pegasus rolled over, trying to enjoy the last few moments of warmth under her covers. Something felt odd against her back as she rolled, causing the half-asleep pony to scowl, but not open her eyes yet. She stretched out her legs, yawning loudly and rolling back to her belly, getting her feet under her.
She made her way heavily out of bed, moving with the half-asleep saunter of the morning. Something was clearly off about her, but she couldn't place what with her foggy mind. Her half-open eyes only took in enough about her room to keep her from running into anything. She passed by the mirror with a yawn, passing a sidelong glance at it as she passed.
Suddenly, she stopped, blinking drowsily. Confused, the Pegasus backed up a few steps, glancing at her side-view in the mirror. She stretched her wings, giving them an experimental flap as she stared at them, the fogginess leaving her mind.

In another part of Pony-ville, an earth-pony snored ungracefully. She was sprawled among her tangled sheets. Her alarm beeped, causing her snores to catch as she opened her eyes slightly. She made a noise of protest, rolling over to stick her head beneath her pillow, her rump up in the air.
After a few minutes she fell back into the warm embrace of sleep… only to be awoken by the sound of ponies outside, going about their daily routines as they passed her home.
She opened her eyes again, peering at her alarm from under her pillow. Her eyes snapped open as she shot up, the pillow still resting on her head.
"Ocean!" She cried, galloping out of bed. She ran back and fourth, frantically preparing for the day ahead. Somewhere in this process the pillow fell off, lying battered on the floor while the pony ran about. After gathering what she needed, the pony threw open her window and leaps out, stretching her front legs out towards the open sky…
And then the pony fell, landing sprawled .

A male with long cobalt hair opened his eyes comely, letting out a huge yawn. He nuzzled the sleeping rabbit by the bedside gently, trying to rouse him from his sleep. He waved him away, curling back up into a ball as he moved on to wake the other manners of critters in his home.
"It's time to wake up, everyone." He called softly. The rabbit he had tried to wake raised it's head to shoot a look, but then stopped, staring at the pony in shock.
"Come, now, you know it's impolite to stare." The pony said, lowering his head self-consciously. "Is there something on my face?"
The rabbit hopped over to a side table, digging around in a drawer until it found what it was looking for- a handheld mirror. He held it up so the pony could view his reflection.
His eyes widened as he stared at his reflection. Agghhhhh!!!!!?

A unicorn reared of bed at her alarm, giggling. She galloped about, wondering what sort of fun thing to do today. She could possibly pull pranks, or throw a party, or-................
She paused in front of her mirror, staring, wide-eyed, at her reflection. For a moment even she was silent.
And then the moment was broken as she fell over, laughing hysterically.

Another Pegasus woke, giving herself a nice stretch before making her way to her bathroom to groom herself for the morning. It would most likely be a slow day, she had very few orders due, so she might spend it gathering materials and such.
She moved automatically to the sink, splashing water on her face to remove the mud masque she had put on during the night. As she rubbed the masque off, she paused, moving her hooves to her bare forehead. They lingered there a moment before she opened her eyes, taking it in. At the same time her eyes caught the wings on her back, and she opened them wide, letting them catch the light from the skylight as she stared at them in awe.

And from the center of Ponyville, a scream issued from the top floor of a library built into a tree. the day had started.

This is probably one of the dumbest, most non-entertaining stories I have written to date. Yet, the fact that I have commented three times on my own work already, means that I take interest in at least a part of it, which is fine with me. However, neither horses nor magical horses with wings, would or should have even so much as taken my writers talent to create a story of Pegasus' and a town called Ponyville. Why is it that my mind is constantly thinking of Robot Unicorn Attack! Why must I, the "Davantageous" be even talking about this. Where has my life gone. Where has my college student instinct gone? and why must the creativity that comes along with it been corrupted.

It's not so bad. If anthing its really creative. Don't take this offensively, but "my little pony" 's song was playing in my head as I read it.It definately put a smile on my face.

thanks. I am so glad that it put a smile on your face

In the early hours of the morning, when the sky was lit from the sun even before it had poked its face above the horizon, a rooster crowed it's song to the dawn. One ear perked up, hearing it as a daily alarm. With a groan, the Pegasus rolled over, trying to enjoy the last few moments of warmth under her covers. Something felt odd against her back as she rolled, causing the half-asleep pony to scowl, but not open her eyes yet. She stretched out her legs, yawning loudly and rolling back to her belly, getting her feet under her.
She made her way heavily out of bed, moving with the half-asleep saunter of the morning. Something was clearly off about her, but she couldn't place what with her foggy mind. Her half-open eyes only took in enough about her room to keep her from running into anything. She passed by the mirror with a yawn, passing a sidelong glance at it as she passed.
Suddenly, she stopped, blinking drowsily. Confused, the Pegasus backed up a few steps, glancing at her side-view in the mirror. She stretched her wings, giving them an experimental flap as she stared at them, the fogginess leaving her mind.
"What in tar nation-?"

In another part of Pony-ville, an earth-pony snored ungracefully. She was sprawled among her tangled sheets. Her alarm beeped, causing her snores to catch as she opened her eyes slightly. She made a noise of protest, rolling over to stick her head beneath her pillow, her rump up in the air. After a few minutes she fell back into the warm embrace of sleep… only to be awoken by the sound of ponies outside, going about their daily routines as they passed her home.
She opened her eyes again, peering at her alarm from under her pillow. Her eyes snapped open as she shot up, the pillow still resting on her head.
"I overslept!" She cried, galloping out of bed. She ran back and fourth, trying to quickly prepare for the day. Somewhere in this process the pillow fell off, lying battered on the floor while the pony ran about. After gathering what she needed, the pony threw open her window and leapt out, stretching her front legs out towards the open sky…
And then the pony fell, landing hard in front of a surprised pair of ponies.

A pony with long pink hair opened her eyes daintily, letting out a tiny yawn. She nuzzled the sleeping rabbit by her bedside gently, trying to rouse him from his sleep. He waved her away, curling back up into a ball as she moved on to wake the other manners of critters in her home.
"It's time to wake up, everyone." She called softly. The rabbit she had tried to wake raised it's head to shoot her a look, but then stopped, staring at the pony in shock.
"Come, now, you know it's impolite to stare." The pony said, lowering her head self-consciously. "Is there something on my face?"
The rabbit hopped over to a side table, digging around in a drawer until it found what it was looking for- a handheld mirror. He held it up so the pony could view her reflection.
Her eyes widened as she stared at her reflection. "Oh, my."

A unicorn leaps out of bed at her alarm, giggling. She galloped about, wondering what sort of fun thing to do today. She could possibly pull pranks, or throw a party, or-
She paused in front of her mirror, staring, wide-eyed, at her reflection. For a moment even she was silent.
And then the moment was broken as she fell over, laughing hysterically.

Another Pegasus woke, giving herself a nice stretch before making her way to her bathroom to groom herself for the morning. It would most likely be a slow day, she had very few orders due, so she might spend it gathering materials and such.
She moved automatically to the sink, splashing water on her face to remove the mud mask she had put on sometime during the night. As she rubbed the mask off, she paused, moving her hooves to her bare forehead. They lingered there a moment before she opened her eyes, taking it in. At the same time her eyes caught the wings on her back, and she opened them wide, letting them catch the light from the skylight as she stared at them in awe.

And from the center of Pony-ville, a scream issued from the top floor of a library built into a tree.

In the early hours of the morning, when the sky was lit fromI think by works better here the sun even before it had pokedThis word seems out of place its face above the horizon, a rooster crowed it's song to the dawn. One ear perked up, hearing it as a daily alarmI'm not certain the full stop works here.

She opened her eyes again, peering at her alarm from under her pillow. Her eyes snapped open as she shot up, the pillow still resting on her head. This portion confused me

And from the center of Pony-ville, a scream issued from the top floor of a library built into a tree.So it does have a strong plot

Well, honestly- I donno waht a Pegasus is so... I thought it was one character. Nehu, the idea is still not told here so I can't comment on the plot but I'll say this you describe a lot but that's good though. It's just that the story doesn't seem to attract the reader suddenly, you get me right? ASnd somethings seem out of place, like the ponies doing facials, and alarmclocks but I guess that's the idea. Hope my review helps. Thanks for reviewing my work. Best of luck with the story.