Young Writers Society

Is é an t-am le haghaidh gnímh ag teacht....

Ever wondered if there were worlds beyond your world?
If there were places, people beyond earthly knowledge?
If there was more to fiction than what the eye could see?

Lig do anam chanadh i cheiliúradh iathghlas solas...

Do you know there are those who know of these things?
People from your world who travel across seas and lands of different fictional universes?
They could be anywhere you are.
The local ice cream shop, the park, three blocks from your house, anywhere in the world.
The secret is if something strange, something out of the ordinary comes to action.
Now it can’t be normal strange like your dad wearing girly clothing voluntarily or the pet hamster dying for no reason, but something thing completely abnormal.
Like a drink going from icy cold to boiling warm within seconds, seeing a persons hair the color of dark brown and the next minute honey blonde when you turn your back, a fiery hot meat on the newly bought stove go as chilly as snow in just a millisecond.
That’s abnormal.
When it happens, look around for a person.
If they wear a strange trinket, that’s a sign.
If their eyes flash green, just for a few seconds, their definitely one.
A Guardian.

Beidh an scáileanna teitheadh roimh an solas...

Listen closely and remember, for there is a reason for everything and a reason to their existence.
In a time long ago, when kings ruled the hills and valleys of Ireland, when bards sang the stories of ancient heroes and quests, when Faerie and Man existed in harmony.

There were the Faeires, the fairest, wisest and refined race on earth whose magic was feared and desired by all through out the Irish forests and seas.
And there was Man, the race of whom desired and prized power and glory with out thought to consequences.

But even through the Faeries and Men had respect for each other; they had avoided any romantic dealings.
The faeries seen the hunger in men’s eyes, their want and wish for never-ending power in which the magic they processed would give through to their children. Because of that, the Faeries refused any romantic relationship with mankind.

Os seus inimigos terán medo dela, os seus aliados vai ama-la…

Yet a faery woman had decided to defy that tradition. Her name was Niamh; the faery princess of Tir Na Oog had fallen in love with the poet Oisin, the famous travelling bard of Ireland.
Taking him across the west seas and unto the Island of Youth, they lived there for many years as the story has been told.
Yet there was more that story did not tell.

Beidh sí a bheith ar do solas ar an cosán dorcha agus an chúis do bháis…

Niamh bore four children two girls and two boys called Padraic, Einin, Lorcan and Ailís.
They were the Children of Fair, born through faery and human heritage and which would share traits of both the Fair Folk and the humans.
Because of it, her mother had given her children a special gift: the Emerald Light.

The Emerald Light was special, welded into their souls, which could control anything through the use of a Talisman: Padraic was given an amber ring, Einin was given a sliver badge, Lorcan was given a ruby bracelet and Ailís was given a copper necklace.
Yet there was a condition to their powers: the four children were to protect other worlds, travel through universes known but unexplored to man, fictional worlds.

Tá bandia a chuidíonn leis an anam íon agus deamhan a mharaíonn an lifes ar a rathú ar neamhréir….

The faeries heard of Niamh and Oisin’s children; angered by Niamh’s lack of concern and fearful if man heard about it they had banished Niamh’s children back onto mortal worlds.
Hiding themselves as humans undetected, the children drifted between realism and fiction, bearing the Emerald Light unto the children they bore.
And within many years was the Guardianship born, separated into different groups who wore the same talismans as their ancestors: The Padraicians wore amber rings on their fingers, the Einins wore a sliver badge over their chest, Lorcanals bared bracelets of rubies on their wrists and the Ailísians wore the copper necklace on their necks.

I gcás ina mbeidh an caomhnóirí na sean-chanadh uair amháin níos mó i dheireadh na bliana go léir dorchadais ...

The Guardians lasted for centuries, undetected for years into the present age.
But there is a prophecy, one that could change the fabric of realism and fiction, blurring the line between what is considered real and what is not.
A girl, a young girl born three generations ago from the escape of the three shall be born on the death of the fifth month.
A decade and three will die through the cycle of time; the girl will pass through, the Emerald Light unknown in her midst.
Upon the birth of the fourteenth year, the child will slip through the seams of worlds, the Emerald Light coming to glow.
The lantern will be relit, the dark will become bright; the promise shall be kept; the phoenix will be reborn; the Guardians of Old Age will sing once more on the rising on the Children of Fiction and the one who will lead them to light…

Beidh an Solas Brilliant meóin uair amháin níos mó sa scáileanna ...

I like this. Normally when a fanfiction is written it's written with only one fan story. You've got like 7, 8?. It's a really good idea. I also like how you tied every one of them together with that song/prayer/chant/thing. The only thing I have to say is: be careful, I don't know how you'll manage staying true to the characters, and keeping them all true at the same time. You've got everything here, and the mixing of genres will be interesting to read if you can pull it off. Like I said, be careful. One or two of these you can take liberties with because of their stories, but the rest will be difficult. If you aren't true to the characters, you'll just turn off your readers who do appreciate the characters.

The plot develops very quickly. That is good, normally. When you have so much of it, however, it is easy for any reader (my very self included) to properly comprehend and more importantly attach themselves to the characters and events therein. Not only that, but pay attention to the way that sentences are being structured. This isn't just fast-paced, it is rather haphazard in the way events tumble forward. Keep control of your purple prose ("forlorning corner" is a particularly egregious, not to mention incorrectly used example). And the spelling. Not to be a Nazi over it, but it really disrupts the pace of some of your stronger sections when a word slips the momentum.
On the positive side, you aren't abusing punctuation nearly as badly as most people. Your commas are in the right places and you mostly avoid repetition or misplacement of the rest. You describe your characters efficiently. Clear the way it works, stretch some of the paragraphs out into less tightly packed segments and you should be well on your way.