This was origonally my opening chapter, I changed it to my second chapter. To read the first chapter, go here viewtopic.php?t=87764
Sweat poured from my forehead and I quickly wiped it away before it could run over my eyes and cloud my vision. Rubing my wet hand on me pants, I pulled another arrow from behind me head and nocked it to my bow's string. In the blink of an eye I pulled the butt of the arrow back to my sunned cheek, lined up the tip to the target, and released. My arrow whistled toward the dummy, but before the arrowhead could pierce its straw chest, I already had another one latched on to my bowstring. Doing a quick 180, I pulled back and repeated the process for another dummy that had popped up behind me. Again and again, I let fly my arrows, and again and again they hit their targets with insane accuaracy.
"Faster, Ashlin, faster!" Chiron yelled at me. "And watch your stance, keep your shoulders back!"
I was tempted to retort that I was doing the best that I could, but of course "best" wasn't good enough for Chiron. And it didn't matter that the arrows were hitting their targets down to pin-point, Chiron wanted better. Of course I respected him, Chiron had been training heros for centuries, but sometimes I wondered if all of those years had finally gotten to him.
"Do some more for me, Ashlin."
I blew a strand of brown hair out of my eyes and continued to pull more arrows from my quiver. I must have hit twelve more dummies before Chiron finally told me that I had done enough and that I could continue on to the next activity in the obstical course.
Breathing hard, I lowered my aching arms and jogged over to the next asignment. Tell's apple. The great feat that that inquires that a skilled marks man shoot at an apple that is on top of another person's head.
I positioned myself behind the marks-man line and surveyed the targets. They were real, live kids with apples on their heads, and to be honest I found it quite humorous. The Demeter cabin had lost the chariot race on saturday, and, unfortionately for them, the losers end up as target practice for the Apollo cabin. Sucks for them, I thought. Some of the kids looked like they were going to faint on the spot or wet their pants, or both. I let the hint of a smirk appear on my lips. I mean, I felt some pitty, but they had nothing to worry about, we were the sons and daughters of Apollo, we never missed our mark. But enough of these pansies, lets get this done with so that I can move on to the next challenge of the course.
I squared my shoulders and looked my target in the eyes, there was no fear in them. And of course I expected that. My kid, May, was one of my best friends in this camp. She knew me personally and trusted me and my aim. May smiled, waved, and straightened her back against the tree that was behind her. Pulling out an arrow (and making sure it was my lucky one), I placed it on the string and then pulled the string taunt. I took a couple more seconds then usual to make sure I was aiming exactly right, and then loosened my hold on the arrow. I nodded in aprovment when the apple was sliced open with a juicy shlock and the tree's bark exploded in splinters.
Even though I wasn't worried in the first place, I said a quick thank you prayer to my dad before heading over to the next activity.
"Hey, Ashlin!" I stopped and turned, hearing May's voice. She held up a strand of her hair, which was now sticky with apple juice and tree sap, and covered in wood shavings. "Thanks," She called sarcastically.
"Hey, at least it's better then your blood," I yelled back, "Be thankful I hit the apple and not your head."
She stuck out her tounge and then asked. "Swimming after you're done?"
I nodded and then turned and sprinted to my next challenge before Chiron could catch me slacking. As I waited for the person in front of me to finish, I thought about how unlikely it was that I'd actually be able to go swimming today. We weren't done until Chiron said we were done, and judging from his mood today, that might not be until late tonight.
"Kay, I'm done, you can go now," my sister, Chelsea, said to me, picking up her arrows and walking away.
I selected three arrows from my quiver and carefully nocked them on the bowstring between four of my fingers. Out of all of the bow and arrow challenges, this was my least favorite. There were four work shops in this corse: in the first one you worked on shooting while moving, dodging, rolling and fighting, the second challenged your speed, the third was accuracy and the fourth was where you practiced shooting multiple arrows at one time. Obviously, this wasn't your average bow and arrow work out. This was serious stuff that could literally save your life. But even for Camp Half-Blood, this wasn't your average bow and arrow training. Chiron had taken the time to set up a special course for the Apollo cabin and told us that this was what we would be using for bow and arrow practice from now on.
This was my second time going through the obstile's cycle. The first time at work-shop four hadn't gone well. I had hit the targets with the arrows, well, most of the time. And even then, they were far from the center of the target.
So I was a bit relunctant on my second time around. And to make matters worse, I could hear Chiron's galloping hooves behind me. Without saying a word, he walked up behind me and I could feel his eyes on me, waiting to see how I would do. I thought about using the excuse that I had been out all afternoon training and was tired, for when I missed the target completely. But I knew that it wouldn't work anyways. So instead I breathed in deeply concentraited on lining up the arrows so that they would go where I wanted them to. Come on, I told myself, If you don't miss, then you don't have to even worry about making up an excuse. So, tightening my stomach muscles, I pulled back my arm, made one last adjustment to my arrows, and released...just as a loud mouth boy ran up behind me yelling, "Chiron, Chiron!"
I jumped in surprise and the arrows shot off in all different directions like young colts breaking free. I turned and glared at the boy, but he was too busy reporting something to Chiron. Tristen, who happened to be a Satyr protecter-in-training, was telling Chiron that a new kid had arrived and that he was needed at the big house. Chiron sighed, "Yes, thank you, Tristen. But next time try not to yell as if all of Olympus has gone down in flames." He said, ruffling the you Satyrs hair. Then he raised his voice so that everyone could here him, "Alright everyone, it appears that I'm needed, so guess we're done for today." Everyone stopped shooting and listened to Chiron. "You all did a good job, you may have free period for the rest of the day. See you all at supper." Everone cheered and ran back to the Apollo cabin to change into their swimsuits.
But before I left to change, I made a quick stop to check with May first. "So, I'll see you in a bit?" I asked. May nodded. "Is your sister coming?"
"I don't know," May said, looking over at her twin sister where she was having a conversation with Chiron. "It looks as though Chiron has her busy."
"Ok, well, I'll meet you down there." We both headed for our cabins.
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So this is first part of chapter one. And honestly, I'm kinda dissapointed :/ But this is where you guys come and help out! So give me honest feed back!
Oh, and I did have some trouble with some things that you guys might be able to help my out with:
Firstly:
Breathing hard, Jordin lowered her aching arms and jogged over to the next asignment. Tell's apple. The great feat that that inquires that a skilled marks man shoot at an apple that is on top of another person's head.
I really don't like this sentence. It just doen'st flow, and honestly I don't know if it makes much sense. So could you guys help me re-word this?
Second, I don't have a spelling check on my lap-top, and I'm a TERRIBLE speller (I don't think i even spelled terrible right...) So if you see a mis-spelled word, please don't hesitate to correct me.
But besides that, hope you enjoyed it! And I am ready for the critisism, so bring it on!
. I'll be subscribing and waiting (probably impatiently) to find out more about Jordin and May. Along with the rest of Jordin's friends at Camp Half-Blood!
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