z

Young Writers Society


Harry Potter- What happened after death, chapter 5



Random avatar


Gender: Female
Points: 5107
Reviews: 100
Thu Jun 10, 2010 12:02 pm
NaRachel says...



“Why do they come here?” asked Mrs Figg.
“They’ve been here before?” asked Harry.
“Oh yes, a whole range of different reporters each has a little look around and then apparates away. I don’t know how you can stand to hide so much.”
“Actually that’s the first reporter I’ve met,” said Harry. “Since..”
“Ah well no wonder they’re after you. Would you like a biscuit?” she asked.
From memory Harry didn’t particularly like her biscuits but he said yes thankyou to be polite and in hope to lessen the awkwardness.
Harry was proven wrong. The biscuits were delicious and reminded him of the warm halls of Hogwarts in the winter, for some unexplainable reason.
“They’re delicious,” he said.
“Yes well better than the last time you had them I be. Dumbledore had me deliberately put salt instead of sugar in my cookies when you came round. Just so you would hate coming here so Mrs and Mr Dursley would let you come. Now tell me why you’re looking for them again?”
“I didn’t tell you I was looking for them,” said Harry perplexed.
“Forgive me but I am a seer.”
Harry mentally groaned at the thought of knowing another seer. At least if Mrs. Figg were to say you are in grave danger he might not believe her. The thought of feeling safe still hadn’t sunken in for Harry. Remembering to answer the question he said:
“Oh um, I don’t really know to be honest. But wait. Aren’t you a Squibb?”
“Yes.”
“So how are you a Seer?”
“Squibb’s and in fact Muggle’s can possess Seer qualities.”
“Really,” said Harry, smiling. It seemed he’d only just started learning the culture of wizards, witches and Squibs.
“I better go,” he said.
“Please stay for dinner,” she said. “I knew you were coming so I cooked for two.”
“Okay,” said Harry, his relationship with Mrs. Figg showed such a difference to when he had stayed at her house forced by the Dursley’s.
They ate dinner ad although the conversation didn’t flow like a water fall, it managed to trickle just enough to prevent awkward silences. It also proved enough to distract Harry from his main problem- where he would go next. It was already dark outside and he really had no where. He didn’t have a home, it had always been Hogwarts.
“So the Dursley’s definitely aren’t coming back?” asked Harry.
“Only time will tell,” she said. “Although the neighbours seemed to have settled in pretty well, them and their fluffy little excuse for a dog.”
“Well I should probably go then,” said Harry.
“But where are you going?”
Harry paused too long and the chance was gone to make up a place. He kicked himself, how easy it would have been to have made some place up that she wouldn’t even know of. He could of just gone somewhere random at least he would have been able to think privately. Then again lying wasn’t exactly his forte.
“Your welcome to stay here.”
“No, its ok I’ll-“
“No really, trust me I would like it. Imagine what I could tell my friends at lunch.”
Harry finally agreed and for a moment thought of what Hermione would be doing. He then thought of the Weasley’s and wished he had gone with them.
"You grow, you grow like tornado
You grow from the inside
Destroy everything through
Destroy from the inside
Erupt like volcano
You flow from the inside
You kill everything through
You kill from the inside"
  





User avatar
267 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 314
Reviews: 267
Sat Jun 12, 2010 4:47 pm
Nike says...



this is great but you need more description-it feels as if the characters are standing and talking in nothing. Some words are spelled wrong or you missed some. The truth is- I love Harry Potter but I only watch the movies not read the books so it's difficult for me to really review this. Either way i loved it!!!
Nike :)
“There is no need to call me Sir, Professor.”
  





User avatar
158 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 15421
Reviews: 158
Fri Jun 18, 2010 4:28 pm
midnightread says...



Hi lunahlove
Thanks for the pm.
I love this sentence
They ate dinner ad although the conversation didn’t flow like a water fall, it managed to trickle just enough to prevent awkward silences

it is gives a really clear impression of what is happening.
I didn't see any mistakes, so well done.
Can you pm me again when you post more?
midnightread :elephant:
The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.
A wise man does not need advice and a fool won't take it.


Growing old is mandatory,
Growing up is optional.


Rugby is a thugs game played by gentle men,
Football is a gentleman's game played by thugs.
  








Maybe we're all just complex human beings with skewed perceptions of each other.
— Ventomology