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Star Wars: "The Purge"; chap. 1: Order 66



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Mon Nov 23, 2009 2:35 am
LordLoredaen says...



Chapter 1

Stronghold of Shu Mai, Felucia
19 BBY

"We're nearing the stronghold, General."
The clones surrounding him gave their blaster rifles one last check as the green-skinned Twi'lek looked out of the Low Altitude Assault Transport's (or LAAT's) forward cockpit window to see the fungi forests of Felucia drawing nearer. Seeing it again after so many years brought back memories from when he was sent with Luminara Unduli to train there. It seemed so long ago, back when he was just a Padawan learner.
Before the Clone Wars.
Ryle Vao nodded to the pilot. "All right, men, prepare to be under fire!"
The clones nodded as they prepared themselves for action. Ryle himself took his lightsaber from his belt. "Remember, we are to rendezvous with Master Secura after we've investigated here."
"Yes Sir," the clones said in unison as the transport declined.
Ryle had been sent to Felucia to help Aayla Secura and Barriss Offee to foil the plot to poison the planet's water supply. Currently all that was known of the plot is that Presidente Shu Mai of the Commerce Guild was behind it, and it had to be stopped. So Ryle had been sent to the personal stronghold of Shu Mai to hunt her down. This would be Ryle Vao's first mission after being given the title Jedi Knight, so he did not intend to mess it up.
"Land here," Ryle called to the pilot.
"Yes sir." There was a small bump as the transport touched ground. The transport doors opened, letting in the muggy Felucian atmosphere.
The clones slowly walked through the dense foliage of fungal growth that made up the surface of Felucia toward Shu Mai's tower stronghold.
"That's strange," clone Commander Col said as he and Ryle stepped off the transport. "I was expecting at least a few droids to be guarding this place."
"As did I," Ryle replied as he looked the tower up and down suspiciously. "Something in the force doesn't feel right. I'm not sensing any living being inside."
"So are you saying that Shu Mai could not be here at all?" Col asked.
"Possibly." Ryle looked around at the surrounding wildlife. "I'm not certain."
When they reached the large gate two clones set to placing detonators around it. Once placed, the clones pressed down on the detonator's remote button and each detonator blew, on after the other, until the door fell forward with a loud THUD. The clones advanced into the tower, crouching and ready for action.
Ryle and Commander Col stayed back. Ryle shook his head and straightened his light brown tunic. "Something isn't right, I can sense it."
"Do you want us to pull back, sir?" Col asked.
There was a moment of silence as Ryle thought the situation over. "No, we shall continue to move forward," he finally said decidedly, and walked into the tower.
The interior was dark and seemed uninhabited, with not a piece of furniture to be seen. They had walked up two levels without seeing a sign of life.
"Now I have a bad feeling," Commander Col said when they reached the staircase to the third floor of the tower, "as if we're walking into a trap."
Just then, there came a hissing sound from behind them as a door at the end of the hall opened. The clones quickly turned as two destroyer droids rolled out of the open door way, unrolled, and began firing. In an instant Ryle had his lightsaber in his hand and ignited it with a snap and a hiss. He walked out in front of his squadron of clones and deflected blaster bolts, some bouncing back and hitting the destroyer's deflector shields, but this did no good.
As he deflected bolt after bolt Ryle looked around the hallway for something to use against the droids, but he could see nothing.
"Col, get some thermal detonators up here!" Ryle called back over his shoulder.
"Right away! Twofer, chuck a thermal!"
The clone nicknamed "Twofer" took a thermal detonator from his belt, armed it, and threw it over Ryle's head at the destroyer droids. It rolled between the two droids, and, through an exertion from Ryle through the force, came to a halt, and then detonated, destroying the droids immediately.
"Good job, Twofer," Ryle said, turning to the clone and switching his lightsaber off.
"Thank you, sir," the clone Twofer replied, nodding.
"That's two-for-one Twofer for you," one of the clones said, to many nods.
"Now," Ryle said, "we should-" but before he could continue his comlink beeped. He pulled it from his belt and turned it on. "Yes, Master Secura?"
"General Vao," Aayla Secura's voice sounded slightly mechanical through the small speaker, "we have uncovered the plot and we need you and your squadron to rendezvous with us at the city of Niango immediately."
"Yes, Master Secura," Ryle said, "But what of my mission here?"
"We have discovered that Shu Mai isn't even on Felucia at the moment," Secura replied, "but with her fleet retreating to Belderone."
"Oh," Ryle did his best to keep the disappointment from his voice. "Then I shall meet you at the rendezvous point."
"I'll see you there," Secura replied, and then the comlink went quiet. Ryle clipped it back onto his belt. "Well, let's get moving."

The transport lifted off not long afterward, rising high over the fungal forests. Ryle held on tight to the support bars as the ship sped forward toward the city of Niango.
"Commander Col," Ryle addressed the red-armoured commander. "When we land, I want you to take your men and join Master Secura's squadron.
"Yes, sir!" The commander replied as he loaded his blaster with full cartridge.
Suddenly, Ryle felt a yanking feeling in his heart. He put a hand to his chest, as he felt it again. He had felt it through the Force; it was as if something that was present had just vanished. Forever.
Commander Col's belt suddenly beeped, and he unhooked a hand-held holoprojector. When he switched it on the image of a cloaked man flickered to life, his image a light holographic blue.
"Yes, Chancellor?" Commander Col asked.
Chancellor Palpatine? Why would the Chancellor hologram Commander Col in person? Ryle Vao thought as the image began to speak. The Chancellor said four words, four words that would haunt Ryle Vao's dreams for many years to come.
"Execute Order Sixty-Six."



This is a FanFic on the Star Wars movies/books, featuring my self-invented character, Ryle Vao. You can find out more about Ryle Vao at my DeviantArt page here:
http://rylevao.deviantart.com/
Last edited by LordLoredaen on Thu Dec 10, 2009 4:23 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Am fear nach gleidh na h-airm san t-sith, cha bhi iad aige 'n am a' chogaidh.

* He that keeps not his arms in time of peace will have none in time of war.


(This pretty much means "If you want peace, be prepared for war")
  





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Mon Nov 23, 2009 6:02 pm
Pretty Crazy says...



This looks like it will be interesting. I kind of always wondered what it would be like for a Jedi during "execute order sixty six"
I'm not a grammar expert but I did see some mistakes here.
As he deflected bolt after bold Ryle looked around the hallway for something to use against the droids

bold should be bolt. :)
"No, we shall continue to move forward," he finally said decidedly

Maybe it should just be plain "he finally decided,"?
So yeah, that's about all I saw.
Overall I liked it. You seem to be pretty accurate with your "Star Wars speak". If I could choose one thing to change in this it would be more action. Star Wars is usually action packed. But there is a balance, you can explain things and make it exciting at the same time. There's nothing wrong with this piece just not anything exceptionally memorable.
Keep up the awesome writing! :D
Looking for someone who won't disappoint you?
Look to Jesus.:)
  





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26 Reviews



Gender: Male
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Reviews: 26
Mon Nov 23, 2009 6:14 pm
LordLoredaen says...



Thanks for all the compliments!! (I'm so embarrassed! Typo!!)
I'll get around to fixing that right now!
As for the action... wait for it.... it's coming. (keep in mind this is just chapter 1)
Am fear nach gleidh na h-airm san t-sith, cha bhi iad aige 'n am a' chogaidh.

* He that keeps not his arms in time of peace will have none in time of war.


(This pretty much means "If you want peace, be prepared for war")
  








Time is not your best friend - unless you use it wisely.
— Marco Pierre White