Young Writers Society

"A band that is rising up the charts with their single "Animal I Have Become" are coming to town for possibly the biggest concert of their North American tour. That's right Three Days Grace are coming-" the MTV VJ was cut off as I shut off the TV.

I sighed. It seems that ever since Three Days Grace has become famous, their faces were everywhere, and I mean everywhere. It's like they want me to miss them. Well, that seems to have worked.

As much as I didn't want to, I missed my highschool buddies. While we were still friends (I cringed as I thought were still friends), we were inseparable, especially Adam and I. Him and I go way back. His parents were best friends with mine when they were little, so naturally so were we. I could always count on Adam to cheer me up when my parents were fighting, which while I was thirteen or fourteen, was at its worst. Once I heard the sound of skin on skin, probably my dad hitting my mom, I'd crawl out my window and across the mini bridge-like structure connecting his room and mine. I'd crawl right into his arms and cry myself to sleep, feeling safe.

When we entered highschool, my feelings for Adam became more than brotherly, if you know what I mean. If you don't, then you are one stupid kid. I started noticing this when he was teaching me how to play guitar...

"Alright, now put your pointer finger on this string," Adam moved my finger to the correct string, but it made my other fingers move off the ones they were on. I giggled as Adam sighed, but he was smiling, "You're so hopeless, Ash.

I was sitting in his lap in his room. Adam's arms were wrapped around me to get to the guitar. Every so often his skin would touch mine ever so slightly and it made my stomach churn. Why am I feeling like this? I thought. I've never felt like this before.

Adam must've noticed my stiffness, "Something wrong, Ash?"

I gave him my best fake-smile I could and replied, "I'm fine. Just thinkin' "

"Thinking about what?"

I was saved from answering by Adam's mom calling us for dinner. I slipped off his lap and followed him downstairs, and I couldn't help but stare at his rear end before looking away and blushing when he turned to look me and smirked. Shit, he caught me! How embarrassing!

All the while I was reminiscing that moment, I cooked myself some Kraft Dinner. I smirked at myself for never learning how to cook anything else. Damn, I wish I paid attention in Home Ec class.

Once I had finished eating, I decided to get ready for bed, since it was getting late and I had the wonderful job of opening tomorrow. I rolled my eyes as I slipped into my favorite night clothes; a baggy, black Ramones shirt, and fleece black pants with white smileys on them.

As I layed down on my bed, my hand almost instinctively reached for my photo album that Neil and Brad had both given to me right before I moved sitting on my beside dresser, as I always did every night. I smiled as I felt the soft material of the handmade cover. I brought it onto my lap and ran my fingers over every single detail of it, from it's title saying "We'll Miss You, Ash!" to the small random cut-out pictures of my favourite things, eyes (I have big fascination with close up pictures of eyes), and music notes, since music is what helps me get through my day. In the center was a picture that I will never forget when it was taken.

In the picture we, Adam, Neil and I, were sitting on the beach. Adam's arms were wrapped around my waist protectively, his chin resting on my shoulder. We were both smiling happily into the camera. We were both oblivious - well, at least I was - to what was going to happen just one month after that. Neil was just sort of sitting there, a little awkwardly, but still smiling. I frowned as I remembered that his girlfriend had broken up with him the day before. Brad was taking the picture. I still remember him insisting to take the picture, no matter how unphotogenic I am. Apparently, Adam and I looked "so cute together it made him want to throw up", as he said it.

No matter how much I deny it, I know it was true. Adam and I were a cute couple. Even the whole school thought so. When we broke up, the whole school was shocked and devastated. Even the teachers. No couple that had ever attended that school had lasted as long as we did. And we lasted a while. Four whole years. Four happy, loving years. Until the end.

I frowned as I remembered what Adam did. I shook my head and tried to forget that as I opened up the album and was bombarded with memories as my eyes moved over every picture, remembering exactly when and where every picture that I was in was taken.

There were a few of when they had band practice, Neil on drums, Adam standing at the microphone, guitar at hand, belting out a song they had just written, and Brad on bass. The other pictures were of random moments of fun and laughter. I laughed out loud as I looked at a picture of me pushing Adam into the pool with all of his clothes on. Haha, he didn't kiss me for the whole day after that.

As I started to close the album, I noticed something scribbled on the inside back cover above a picture that I hadn't noticed before. It was so messy I could hardly read it. I recognized the penmanship as Adam's. I tried to stop myself from reading it, knowing I would regret it somehow. But, of course, I couldn't.

Hey Ash,

I know you hate me right now, but I really needed to tell you. I'm really sorry for what I did. I can't even start to explain how sorry I am. It was all a huge mistake. I know none of this is going to convince you to forgive me, but I just had to let you know and you've been avoiding me, so I couldn't say this in person.

I'm going to miss you so god damn much. You have no idea how much this is hurting me, and it hurts even more knowing it was me that made you want to leave. I hope that someday we'll find eachother and you could maybe forgive me and we could be as happy as we were, but I know that won't happen. At least not the "you forgiving me" part.

Well I've got to go now. Neil and Brad are bugging me to get this done so they could take one last picture and stick it in this thing. Again, I'm so sorry and I love you so fucking much.

We'll all miss you,

Love,
Adam

Underneath, there was a note from Brad and Neil each, saying their 'We'll miss you's and stuff. Underneath that was a picture of Neil, Brad and Adam, standing there, holding up the photo album. Neil and Brad looked like they were trying so hard not to cry. Adam wasn't even trying. He just let those tears fall. He looked like he hadn't slept for a while.

At that point, I full out started bawling. Tears slowly fell down my cheeks onto the page, slightly blurring out some words. I tried to control my sobbing by telling myself that I was over him, but to my disappointment, it didn't work. My mind thought I was, but my heart wouldn't hear it.

Once I had calmed myself down, which seemed like forever, but was only an hour, I turned on my stereo softly. I put it on repeat, so that once it was done playing the CD, which happened to be The Used, it would play again. The house was quiet, save the sound of an occasional sniffle from me, and the CD playing. I finally fell asleep to the sound of Bert singing the words of "Cut Up Angels".