Young Writers Society

This is not meant to be realistic, nor is it meant to be taken seriously (I'd be insulted if you did). This is also just one whole scene, but a long one. There's also a lot more direction, so...try to picture it.

(Please)

Okay. Let's do this.
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Scene V: School Parking Lot

B: (seeing something in the back of her truck) What? (steps out and checks the tires) Oh.

(a few yards away, at the same time. EDWARD, EMMETT, and J are talking near his car, as A and R are leaning against his car, staring off into space)

EMMETT: Hey, look, it's your girlfriend! (laughs with J)

EDWARD: Shut up.

EMMETT: Come on, go tell her you want to suck her blood AND her--

EDWARD: (reddening) Shut. Up.

(EMMETT and J laugh uncontrollably. Suddenly, EMMETT snatches EDWARD's keys)

EMMETT: Go on! It's possible.

J: Yeah, love conquers all!

(both laugh some more as EDWARD tries to get his keys back. J and EMMETT play Monkey-in-the-Middle with his keys. TYLER CROWLEY arrives, and begins to swerve)

EMMETT: (not noticing) Catch! (throws, coincidentally, in the direction of B. Keys land right behind her)

EDWARD: (squealing) No!

(yards back)

B: (looking up at the car, seeing EDWARD's horrified face and not realizing it's for his keys) Oh sh---

EDWARD: (speeding over to his keys, suddenly behind B) Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap...(sees them and picks them up, suddenly sees the van coming his way) AHHHHHHHH!

(As B tries to shield herself with her arms, EDWARD finally realizes she's right in front of him and tries to use her as a shield, forgetting his high strength, but his hands slip, causing him to push the van forward)

EDWARD: Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap (looking for his keys, which have fallen again, and lifts the van in his search)

B: (after being knocked down, rubs her head) Ow, what happened? Hey! What are you doing here? (as EDWARD lifts her and finds his keys. While she looks away, he kisses his keys, and notices her)

EDWARD: Oh, hey.

B: (in disbelief) Hi. How did you---?

EDWARD:Wow. He needs to learn how to drive.

B: It's from the ice. It's hard to drive in the ice.

Unknown voice: Hold on! We'll get you right out!

EDWARD: You drove fine.

B: That's because of my--never mind. How did you get here so fast?

EDWARD: (looks blank, since he actually forgot) I..uh...I've been here the whole time.

B: No you weren't. You were playing that---

EDWARD: (getting serious) I've been here the whole time.

(paramedics get them out. EDWARD, who hates stretchers, declines his. C, who was across the street at a diner, walks to them)

C: (sees B) Oh, it's you. What were you, drunk or something?

B: (rubbing her head) No.

C: Oh. Then, why'd they call me here?

Paramedic: Well, she's your daughter. Don't you want to join her?

C: (looks blank) Yeah...you see, I was sort of, in the middle of my breakfast, so...Could I catch up with you? Say...ten minutes?

Paramedic: Sir, your daughter and this gentleman were very lucky to have come out the way they did. She was centimeters from death.

C: Hmmm. Yeah...whatever. I'll catch up with you guys. (gives B a pat on the back)

EDWARD: (recognizing him) Oh, hi! This is yours, right? (gives C his gun back)

C: Hey, thanks! See, Bella? He's cool. (gives him a high-five)

B: (open-mouthed) He stole your gun, aren't you going to do something?

C: (laughing) Do something? Like what? (mock-points his gun at EDWARD, who mock-panics) Freeze! You stole my gun! You might as well have raped my dog! Freeze before I make your stupid ass look like a Dalmation's, you pale son of a bitch! (laughs loudly with EDWARD as he puts his gun away)

EDWARD: oh, sorry about it being empty. My brothers were pissing me off and---

C: (waves it off) Eh. We'll discuss that manure later. Eh. (chuckles as he pats EDWARD's shoulder amiably) Good kid. Tell your parents they're doing a fine job.

EDWARD: (mock salutes) Sure will!

C: (still chuckling) Eh-heh...I'll see you guys soon. (walks back)

B: (watching her father return to the diner as they put her in the ambulance) That's so unf---

EDWARD: (laughing with the paramedics) Let's roll! Hold on, Bella!
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I make reference to Mr. Stephen T. Colbert on the baby carrots contribution. The man can be quite a character. But no worries. It's as Sleeping V typed: baby carrots is out.

Small (but Significant) Note:

B= Bella
J=Jasper
R=Rosalie
A=Alice
C=Charlie

Normally, I'm a stickler and don't really like people messing with other pwople's work...*shrugs* I don't know why, I just do. I really like Twilight, and I think in this peice you have twisted it around, to show us the funny side of of the Cullen clan, and I like that a lot, becuase in the books you only see serious Edward....well 99.999% of the time. --I like how fuffly this is, and I'll be keeping an eye out for the next peice.



Emily

That was really good! Funny as always comrade, .

I think when Edward was trying to get his keys I got slightly confused. Either becaue I'm sleepy or maybe you got some [what I like to call] mechanial errors. I think it didn't help that you used " C" and "J" to describle people.

[ I thought we learned that lesson after Gossip Girl and The Series of Unfortunate Events]

Because to be honest when you said "C" was coming I thought you meant Edwards father.


So yeah dialogue crisp as Amber can make it, and as usual freaking awesome. Happy New Years!

*moved to fanfiction*

Well I am not really sure how to take this. I can't criticize it because, well, you said it was just a joke in essence, but as far as the humor goes I liked most of it. Minus the 'baby carrots' part, maybe its just me but I didn't find it funny. However I will be looking forward to another funny rendering of a piece of writing. It was very fun.

Baby carrots is out. =P The rest is amusing, better than the first part. The added description I makes it about ten times better. And yes, if you are going to use a single letter to name che chars do ppl and favor and tell us who is who at the beginning. *trying very very hard to remember who J is but can't*

Baby carrots? *confused look* I didn't really get that part...but everything else was funny. Once again, good job!

loved it! but one thing, who is R?

Sleeping Valor wrote:*trying very very hard to remember who J is but can't*

Jasper Hale.

Kelsey Logan wrote:loved it! but one thing, who is R?

Rosalie Hale.

oooooooooohhhhhhhh now i feel stupid...

haha this was really funny! I laughed a lot! Personally I'm not a big fan of Twilight *checks outside to see if an angry mob of teenage girls are standing outside with pitchforks* I dislike Bella..
Okay the part that made me laugh a lot was when C and EDWARD are joking about EDWARD stealing the gun I mean OMG! That was freaking hilarious! I heart you for writing this..your freakin awesome!

I FREAKING LOVE YOU FOR WRITING THIS! haha sorry I just love it so much.. WRITE MORE OR I WILL THREATEN YOU WITH BIG WORDS!

AAhhhhhhhh! A guy posting on this. Every body run for their lives. hehe. Any ways, that was fun. I haven't read Twilight, I have a few friends who have, and they want me to read it. ummm. Ya, those friends I mentioned talk about it all the time, so that is why I checked it out. Had no clue who the letters stood for till the end, but the story was good. I could it a story, because even what was in parentheses made it seem like the "non-dialog" parts of a story. Good Job.



"2, 4, 6, and 8 may be, but what ever do we do with 3." -Random little quote made by me.

HAHAHAHAHA

This was TEN TIMES better than part one, I literally laughed out loud at the concept of him saving Bella as an accident.

B: (after being knocked down, rubs her head) Ow, what happened? Hey! What are you doing here? (as EDWARD lifts her and finds his keys. While she looks away, he kisses his keys, and notices her)

EDWARD: Oh, hey.

Priceless....

Well I didn't get here early enough to read this alleged "baby carrots" bit, but if it made it anything less than what it is now I'm glad, because this is great stuff.

Now just go back and fix up the first part a bit and we'll be in business =D

P.S. Charlie is FANTASTIC