But nothing more happened. He sat on my stomach and fed me the rest of the strawberries, a sweet kiss between each. It seemed to take forever for that bowl to empty. But I loved the attention I was getting from him. It was wonderful. I didn’t feel like his plaything any longer. He made me feel like something precious even though we both liked to make each other feel good inside. To moan, to scream from pleasure, he did it all. And now he was lying in my arms, asleep.
Sure, it was fun to be a little naughty at times, like he always was, but he surprised me when he placed the last strawberry in my mouth, kissed my forehead softly, and said, "I want to sleep with you tonight."
It was unexpected; maybe the strawberries messed with something in his mind. I was sure he would have said something like, "Oh Moony, I've dripped chocolate all over your pants. Time to take them off!" But he didn’t, and the most that did come off was his shirt.
That’s what you call fun.
To see a beautifully half-naked Sirius in your bed, showing off that Quidditch physique, that perfect chest, complete with equally perfect muscled arms grabbing at your hips…the way he arched his back with every lick you took…
I combed through his thick black hair with my fingers but kept those tiny strands in his face. They made him look so elegant, like a painting. His head was on my chest. I could see him smile, and I wondered for a second what he was dreaming about. I slowly took my free hand and slid it down my side to where one of his hands lay limp and tangled his fingers into mine.
Strawberries…chocolate…Sirius was in my arms, and to think the full moon was just two weeks away. I was scared to death; the full moon always did something to me. It filled me with pain and anger, made me imagine I had no reason at all to be here.
Why do you put up with it, Remus? You know you can make it stop.
I would often hear myself think that. I have never told James or Sirius. They would worry about me, this black hole I've dug for myself. But Sirius’ hands would touch my skin, the shock would break my disease, and I could breathe. He washes all my wounds for me, the darkness in my veins that I never could explain.
Are you that strong to carry on?
He can save me.
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Classes were either a blessing or a curse. When Sirius was in my classes, he had a tendency to get so close to me I could actually smell him; maybe it was the werewolf inside. It was a curse. His smell drove over me like a sweet aroma from the most beautiful flower in the greenhouse. The blessing, however, was when I alone in my other classes. Without him to bother me, I had time to concentrate on my work. I actually did my work instead of having an incredibly gorgeous Sirius breathing down my neck or meeting my eyes when I would innocently look over at him…and the notes. Sigh. Those notes written on tiny pieces of parchment torn out of the corner.
Sometimes I wonder how he got to be the way he is. That motorcycle, his dog collar, his barbed wire hoop earring, and the way he talks could make anyone blush and suggest a dark empty room on the third floor.
"Moony!" James shouted, running down the hallway towards me as soon as my foot touched the floor outside of my Charms class. "Is my other best friend ready for some partying tonight?"
"If you say I am," I said, lowering my head with a smile as we walked along the noisy hallway. "Did you ask Lily?"
"You would have been proud," he said, pitching the front of his robes.
"So she said yes."
"Kind of. She said she had mountains of homework to do and had to help Dumbledore with something."
"And?" I asked as we walked down the Great Hall steps and towards the grounds.
"You know me too well." He laughed, hitting me in the shoulder." I said, ‘Evans, it’s the weekend. You’ve got plenty of time!’ Then she gave me that look, you know the one I love, when she tilts her head and her eyes get small and she sticks out her lips?"
"Of course I do." I wished I hadn't asked about Lily at all. "You show me all the time," I said, feeling very unenthusiastic, as I took a seat at our normal spot under the tree.
"Well, she gave me the look, and then she told me maybe after she finished helping Dumbledore, but I wouldn’t take no for an answer! I…"
"Great job, Cap'n Prongs!"
Sirius scared the wolf out of me, as I like to say. He snuck up behind me as James was still going on about Lily, grabbed me around the waist, bit my back, and continued to shout in my ear. Quite frankly, I enjoyed it.
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