Chet adjusted his tie and sighed. “How long until we’re live?” he asked, looking around the crowded news room.
“Thirty seconds,” said a kid with a head set and a large collection of acne.
A few moments later, the count down began, and then they were live.
“Hi, I’m Chet Rockford, and today on KOMV news we have an astounding story,” Chet began, mustering up his best new voice. “The police have finally broken their way into the California base of the infamous cult known as the Young Writer’s Society. Janet Finch is there now and has been talking to the police so that we could be the first to bring you this shocking report. Janet.” The cameras switched to Janet Finch.
“Hi Chet, I’m outside of the California base now, where police have been carrying out suspects and taking other members to hospitals. It has been months now that this cult was under surveillance by the US government, and finally they broke ground on the case. It is believed that the head leader of the cult, Nathan Caldwell, has been plotting to take over the government, but for what reason, we aren’t sure yet.”
“Janet, could you tell us a little bit about this cult?”
“Well, Chet, it seems that all of the members have code names. None of them will release their true identities, which is making the investigation difficult at this time. The strangest thing about this cult is how wide spread and developed it is. It is known to have three bases, one here in California, another in the UK, and the main head quarters in Washington, DC. They are also suspected of having a base in Australia, but this is still to be confirmed. As for the development of the cult, it doesn’t act like most. The cult has thousands, if not millions of members, and among these members it seems there are separate groups. There are two very powerful groups, one under the code name SPEW and another called the CCF, though at this time we know little about either.”
“I’ve heard rumors about SPEW’s activity. Is it true that the member of this cult-within-a-cult eats animals?”
“No, not just animals, Chet, cats. More specifically, kittens. In fact, it is believed that SPEW’s base was located here, in California. When police entered underground tunnels connecting to the base, they were horrified to find dead kittens everywhere, perhaps kept around for when they have feasts, and worship their gods.”
“So this is a religious cult?”
“Perhaps, Chet, we are unsure as of now.”
“And what can you tell us about the various leaders?”
“For now, we know that the California base was run by a member named Meshugenah. We don’t know if she has been brought into custody yet, but if they’re going to find her, she’ll be here. Their main leader, Nathan Caldwell, resides in Washington, DC, supposedly so he can be closer to the government that he wishes to take over. The United Kingdom’s base is run by someone mysteriously named Firestarter. Many have wondered if he was the cause of arsons over the years in the UK. There is no evidence of this, but if it is true that each member’s code name corresponds to something about them, he will be investigated further.”
“And what exactly is this cult charged with?”
“As I mentioned, Chet, they have smaller groups within the cult, and the two largest ones have been thought to be in crime for years, even before this cult developed. Not only that, the cult as a whole has been threatening society for a while now. If you can remember back far enough, to the New York City black out, new evidence shows that this black out was caused by one of the members in an attempt to link everyone’s home computers to their main frame network. Obviously the attempt failed, but you can understand how shocked everyone is to learn of this.”
“So is this a terrorist group?”
“Excuse me, Chet, you’re breaking up…”
“Is this cult suspect to terrorism?”
“We’re not sure yet, but it is known that one of the higher up members of the California base, Crysi, had been taking flight lessons. They might have been planning an attack, but we aren’t sure how deep in this member was. Some members are just innocent high school students, but it seems that once you are in, you never get out.”
“Thank you, Janet. We’ll hear more from her later. And now, is there such a thing as too many pets? We’ll talk to one Missourian who owns four hundred dogs, and why she likes them so much.”
Finally, to commercial. Chet wiped his sweaty forehead with a rag. “You’re kidding me, right? They really do eat kittens?” He wasn’t asking anyone specifically, but he couldn’t believe the news. He’d heard so many shocking things, but this… this was unbelievable.
“Thank God we got to them in time.”
To be continued...
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We're a "cult"? *splutters, sniggers and bursts appendix laughing*
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