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The Black Cobra: Chapter 3



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Tue Jun 19, 2007 6:05 am
BrokenSword says...



Chapter 1
Chapter 2

***

CHAPTER 3

Aisha wiped her wet hands on a dishrag and sighed softly, casting a weary glance at Jaleh beside her. Her hands were sore from cutting Sabah’s fruit all afternoon and her legs were begging for just a few minutes of rest.

“Are you all right, Aisha?” Jaleh asked her softly, her green eyes filling with concern as she brushed a stray wisp of hair out of her eyes. Aisha gave a smile for her friend and nodded. “Yes…I’m afraid I’m just tired,” she answered in a hushed tone, pushing aside a pile of freshly cut apple slices.

Jaleh nodded in agreement. “Her lady Sabah has been quite demanding as of late.” The young woman smoothed her hair with her hand, rolling her eyes and making Aisha giggle. “Requesting food and drink every hour, taking baths three times a day! It’s a wonder the woman hasn’t eaten and washed herself to death!”

Aisha couldn’t help but laugh out loud at this statement and had to cover her lips with her hand to keep from being heard by the other women in the kitchen. When she took a deep breath and gathered herself, she squeezed Jaleh’s hand. “Ah well, my dear. Just be silent and do your work, and all will be well.”

Admittedly, though, Aisha was just as tired of Sabah’s constant demands. Ever since that woman arrived at the palace she had not been off her feet for at least seven hours. Before the princess’s visit she had spent most of her time cleaning the tiled palace floors, preparing meals for the guards or tending to the Shah’s rose gardens. Now she spent almost all of her time in the kitchen.

She turned around and made the mistake of glancing in the small mirror hanging on the wall. Seeing her reflection only made her more miserable. Her black hair, tied back into a loose tail, was frizzed and standing up from her head, and her face was lined with exhaustion. Her brown eyes were slightly red from lack of sleep and she glimpsed saw dark circles beneath them.

Aisha had been working as a servant girl at Nasser Shah’s palace since she was a little girl. Her mother, Pari, had been in the Shah’s harem, and her father had been a palace guard. She had never come to know her father, as her parent’s relationship had been short-lived, but she adored her gentle mother and always greeted her with a hug around her legs. Pari died when Aisha was only eight years old as a result of eating poisoned food intended for the Shah. Many people said that Pari had saved the Shah from assassination, but Aisha felt no pride from her mother’s death.

Now, as a young woman of nineteen, Aisha was still in the Shah’s service and she was slowly coming to understand that she would probably be here until the day she died…after all, a servant was loyal to their master for life. The thought of such a life terrified her.

“Aisha.”

She turned at the sound of a male voice and laid eyes on one of the Shah’s officers. They rarely came into the servant’s kitchen, and they never spoke to her. What could they want with her?

Aisha came forward slowly, setting her dishrag on the table and anxiously adjusting her wild hair with one hand. She could feel the eyes of the other women burning into her back as she came up to the man. “Yes, sir?”

The officer motioned her to approach, his cold eyes gazing down on her. “You’ve been selected to assist my lord’s magician.”

Trying to hide her surprise, Aisha nodded. “May I ask why he needs my assistance?”

“He was wounded while carrying out an execution,” the officer responded in a clipped tone. “He will not be able to perform his duties for some time and has been assigned a servant.”

Aisha swallowed. “Of course, sir…just give me a moment to clean myself up.”

She came back to Jaleh, who had been standing near the two of them in order to try and overhear their conversation. Her eyes were wide and she leaned towards Aisha urgently. “What did he tell you?”

Aisha gave her friend a faint smile. “I’ve been called to assist the Shah’s magician. Apparently he has been injured and needs a servant.”

Jaleh gave a small gasp. “The magician?” She repeated in a hushed tone. “I’ve never seen him…but I’ve heard from the harem that he gives the most astonishing performances. You must tell me about his magic tricks when you return tonight, Aisha.”

Aisha’s smile widened. “I will, Jaleh.” She took her friend’s hand and gave the girl a soft kiss on the cheek before leaving the kitchen with the officer, her heart beginning to thump faster in her breast.

-----------------------------------

Sabah carefully adjusted her glossy hair adorned with roses before she even touched the doorknob to the magician’s room, tucking any stray strands behind her ear. She straightened her black silk sari, checking to ensure it wrapped snugly around her slim body, and opened the door.

Her magician lay on his bed with his bandaged leg resting atop his bed sheets. Apparently he had been sleeping, because he blinked his eyes open and lifted his head from his pillows, startled. When he laid eyes on Sabah, he propped his body up on his elbows.

“My lady…what are you doing here?”

Sabah smirked and shut the magician’s door, approaching his bed and folding her thin hands delicately in front of her.

“Nasser Shah was kind enough to invite me to your quarters.”

Erik raised an eyebrow. “But I did not invite—”

Sabah placed a long finger on his lips to silence him, sitting down beside him on his mattress. “I’ve been waiting to see you after your wonderful performance.” She raised her other hand to brush lightly against the magician’s mask. “And I want to be with you.”

Erik pushed away her hands. “My lady, I don’t—”

Ignoring him completely, Sabah tried to slip her hand beneath his mask while the other trailed down to his leg. This was a mistake; Erik roughly shoved her hands away from his body, his eyes on fire and his jaw set.

“I’ve told you not to touch me.”

At first, Sabah was a little frightened by his reaction, but her anger started to simmer. He would submit to her desires, whether he wanted to or not.

“You will do as I ask, magician. I will touch you if I so please, and you cannot say otherwise.”

“My name is Erik, and you will not touch me,” he snapped.

The door opened again, and in stepped a burly palace officer, along with a small girl. This second intrusion did nothing to soothe Erik’s raging temper.

“What the hell are you doing in my room?” he demanded of the officer, who motioned to the girl.

“This is your servant.”

Erik looked the girl over. She was a little thing, and rather disheveled, what with her fuzzed hair and plain, slightly stained work dress. She glanced up at him with large, tired eyes, her hands clasped before her.

“Sayyed, master.”

Her voice was very soft, almost unintelligible, but that wasn’t important. She was his servant for a time, and she would perform his duties.

“Thank you. You may leave now,” Erik told the officer, who left the room immediately, but Sabah remained, her arms crossed. Erik glared at her.

“You may leave, too. Talk with me tomorrow.”

She was still angry, but satisfied enough to exit the room without making another fuss. Erik was left alone with his new servant girl. He turned his head to look at her.

“Come here.”

She obeyed, approaching his head and kneeling down before him.

“What is your name?”

“Aisha,” she replied quietly.

His eyes cooled slightly, his boiling temper now simmering. “My name is Erik.”

“Sayyed Erik,” she said, lifting her eyes to look at him.

Erik smiled. She knew her manners. “Aisha, please bring me that bowl over there on my bureau.”

Aisha stood up and did as she was told, bringing him the bowl full of spiced almonds. He thanked her and began to eat some while she knelt again beside him. He offered her some but she politely declined.

“Where do you sleep?” he asked her.

“In the servant’s quarters, Sayyed Erik.”

“Are you comfortable there?”

“Very comfortable.”

Erik assumed otherwise; servants were rarely treated with kid gloves in the palace. She obviously did not want to focus on herself.

“I will dismiss you at eight o’ clock each night and ask that you be here at eight o’ clock in the morning. I require that you bring me fresh dressings for my wound, water and my meals. I will also have you send messages to Nasser Shah for me and bring me messages from him. If you refuse to perform these simple tasks you will be punished appropriately. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, Sayyed Erik.”

She was well trained, this servant girl; she did not flinch or show emotion at the mention of each task. He could see that she would be quick and quiet, a helpful assistant.

“Good. Now go sit in my chair.”

She gave him a quizzical look.

“You are very tired. Would you not like to rest for a while?”

“Yes, Sayyed, I would like to rest very much,” she replied quickly, obviously pleased that he had given this opportunity for her. She sat down in his chair, pulling up her legs and resting her head against the back of the seat. Her attempts to stay awake ultimately failed, and she soon drifted off under Erik’s watchful eyes. He let her sleep for an hour before calling out to her and dismissing her from his room.

“Good night, Aisha,” he told her.

“Good night, Sayyed Erik.” Her slim hand disappeared from the doorknob and she was gone.

------------------------------

“What is he like?” Jaleh asked Aisha excitedly from under the bed covers, her eyes wide in the dark and her lips spread in a smile. Aisha giggled a little, struggling to keep her eyelids from closing completely.

“He’s quite kind, actually,” she said, toying with her hand. “He offered me almonds, and he let me sleep in his chair.”

“Did he do magic tricks?” Jaleh demanded to know.

Aisha shook her head. “No, not today. He looks very strange, Jaleh. He wears an odd mask, and he had a most frightening necklace of animal’s teeth.”

“Tell him to do magic tomorrow, Aisha,” Jaleh said excitedly, plastering a hand over her lips to muffle her anxious laugh.

“I will try, Jaleh. I don’t know if he’s one for fun and games so soon.”

Her friend soon fell asleep beneath the starchy blankets, but Aisha remained awake for some time, her eyes traveling over the low, sagging ceiling and the water stained walls. Indeed, the servant’s quarters were not exactly luxurious…over two hundred women slept here each night in this small building. The beds were stiff and the bed sheets itchy, but at least they had a place to lay their head. Aisha was safe from the elements, and for that she was thankful.

The magician’s black mask drifted throughout her dreams as she slept.
Last edited by BrokenSword on Tue Jul 17, 2007 8:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
  





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Tue Jul 17, 2007 3:01 am
Leja says...



I feel I must caution you on name choice. I find it easier to mix unusual names you can pronounce with maybe the one odd one that's a little more difficult just to make it stand out. I can pronounce all the names here, but it's more difficult to wrap my mind around them; they don't just click into my head when I need to recall the character. Just something to think about if you're considering introducing additional characters.

:oops: I thought Jaleh was a boy at first. Any clarification you could throw in [like mention of a dress or long hair]? Or I might have just missed something. But going for too long without clarification is unnecessarily confusing.

Sabah placed a long finger on his lips to silence him, sitting down beside him on his mattress. “I’ve been waiting to see you after your wonderful performance.” She raised her other hand to brush lightly against the magician’s mask. “And I want to be with you.”


I was going to say that this is a little presumptuous for Aisha, until I looked again at the name and saw that it was in fact Sabah. Moral of the story: nice characterization shown here. [side note: Sabah still cracks me up XD]

All said, I think that this chapter was very well done, and I look forward to reading more like it.
  





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Tue Jul 17, 2007 7:46 am
BrokenSword says...



AmeliaOliver wrote:I feel I must caution you on name choice. I find it easier to mix unusual names you can pronounce with maybe the one odd one that's a little more difficult just to make it stand out. I can pronounce all the names here, but it's more difficult to wrap my mind around them; they don't just click into my head when I need to recall the character. Justsomething to think about if you're considering introducing additional characters.


I never thought of that. I try to make them simple, but I also try to vary them so you don't get a main character and a co-main character with names that both start with A or something. Interesting piece of info. :D

:oops: I thought Jaleh was a boy at first. Any clarification you could throw in [like mention of a dress or long hair]? Or I might have just missed something. But going for too long without clarification is unnecessarily confusing.


I did put this bit right here early in the chapter:

"“Are you all right, Aisha?” Jaleh asked her softly, her green eyes filling with concern as she brushed a stray wisp of hair out of her eyes. "

But it almost sounds like Aisha's green eyes. I'm so tired I can hardly keep my head on straight tonight :lol:

Sabah placed a long finger on his lips to silence him, sitting down beside him on his mattress. “I’ve been waiting to see you after your wonderful performance.” She raised her other hand to brush lightly against the magician’s mask. “And I want to be with you.”


Thank you again!
  





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Mon Jul 30, 2007 3:15 am
Leja says...



"“Are you all right, Aisha?” Jaleh asked her softly, her green eyes filling with concern as she brushed a stray wisp of hair out of her eyes. "


Oops, sorry for the mix-up :oops:
  








If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
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