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Siren (Part Two)



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Tue Jun 05, 2007 2:59 am
KiteRide86 says...



Dean kicked open Laine’s front door around 6 am. They ran into the house holding their handguns at waist level and headed straight for the room they assumed to be her bedroom. They found her standing in the middle of her room holding a shotgun. She raised it and pointed it promptly at them.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing? You scared the crap out of me! You two have got a lot of nerve bursting in here this early in the morning only two weeks after my father’s…murder. Now tell me who you really are before I call the real cops.”

Dean noticed the walls and just looked around, speechless. They were covered in pictures and articles of the unexplained. He walked slowly over to one of the walls, lowering his gun. His eyes stopped on one article in particular. It was about Greek mythological beings called Sirens.

Sam threw his hands down, “Dean, she wasn’t getting attacked by the thing. We are the attacker.”

“Check this stuff out, Sam. Its…”

“…Just like home.” He finished, walking over to the article Dean was reading.

“What a minute, Dean and Sam! Who the hell are you?” Her hands began to shake as she held the gun steady.

Sam looked at her, with relief, “We’re just like you.”

“What do you mean? You don’t know anything about me. Answer my question! Who are you?”

“I am Sam Winchester and this is my brother Dean. We…hunt the paranormal.”

She lowered the gun. “You’re kidding, right?” She almost laughed.

Sam raised his eyebrows while tilting his head to the right. “No, we thought your dad might have been killed by something supernatural, so we came to check it out.”

Dean smiled, stupidly.

She exhaled and all of her burdens fell off of her shoulders. Impulsively, she threw her arms around Sam and squeezed him tightly.
-----------------------
“I’m sorry for the random hug. I’m just so relieved that I don’t have to do this alone.” She set the tea on the coffee table in front of them.

“Oh, don’t worry he needed it.” Dean winked at Sam who punched him.

“So tell us everything you know and maybe we can stop it.” Sam took a sip of the tea.

“Well, uh…I’ve always believed in the paranormal: ghosts, demons, and what not. I guess you have to, being a Christian and all. If you believe in the good, you have to believe in the bad, too.” She leaned back in her chair. “When he died…the first thing I thought was a bear did it. For some reason he climbed up the bank and it attacked, but seven more followed…in exactly the same way. I started looking for anything…any sort of lead I could find. I came across a woman who was killed precisely one month, to the second, before my father was. She was a total slut and one night she took one of her guys to her houseboat where he brutally murdered her.” She looked down for a second and then looked up at Sam, “That ticked her spirit off and she turned her into what I believe to be a modern day Siren. The ancient myth says that the Sirens lived on a barren island, one of the entrances to the underworld, and whenever ships passed they sang, hoping to entice Persephone, their former playmate: I.e. the guy. Their singing was so beautiful that no man could resist it, and the ships sailed towards the call, getting closer to the lips of hell. Each time the Sirens realized that Persephone was not on board, they swooped on the ship and tore its sailors limb from limb, sending their souls, unburied, to the underworld. I just hope that was not my father’s fate. I couldn’t imagine.”

Sam and Dean looked at each other with sorrow, remembering their mother and Jessica’s fate. “We’re so sorry for your lose. We’ll take care of this Siren.” Sam assured her.

“Save it. I’m coming with you.”

“No, you’re not.” Dean said sternly.

“You can’t tell me what I can and can’t do.”

“Trust me, he can.” Sam laughed.

“Yeah, shut up.” Dean looked hard at Sam.

“Look, all we need to do is find the body and burn it. I think the Siren is guarding the body. I’ll just get my shotgun and we can leave. I want this Siren gone.”

“What good’s a shotgun?” Dean asked sarcastically.

“It’s filled with rock salt, in case we run into the spirit before we burn the body.”
---------------------------------------------
Headlights pierced the darkness as the Chevy pulled up to the silent forest. Dean yanked up the smooth trunk lid and propped open the hidden compartment with his shotgun. He took out his homemade EMF.

“Is that a walkman?” Laine asked, puzzled.

“It’s an EMF. I made it myself.” Dean said, defending himself.

“I can see that. Too cheap to buy a real one, I suppose.” She played.

“Well, sweetheart, it’s not like we get paid.” Dean turned to give her an evil look, but all he could do was stare. He hadn’t really looked at her before and now that he had, he almost wished he hadn’t. He cleared his throat and turned it on. The red lights flickered in time with the static sound. “She’s here.” He said, looking around. Putting it back in the trunk he got out the salt, the gasoline, and the lighter.

Sam grabbed the shovel and they started into the forest.

“Wait,” Laine stopped and handed them each a pair of neon orange ear plugs. “You’re going to need them.”

They nodded, taking them from her open hand. After plugging their ears up, they continued.

“Let’s kill this bitch.” Dean tried to whisper.

They walked cautiously through the woods looking for any sign they could find. It started, faint at first, but beautiful and clear. Laine tried to hone her hearing and follow the sound. Then they saw her. She stood there like a hologram, fading in and out of sight, clothed in a long dress colored black like a crow.

Laine stepped in front of Sam and Dean and began shooting at the apparition. The Siren faded out completely, “Start digging!” She shouted at Sam.

He took his shovel and struck it into the earth where it seemed freshly turned up. He quickly found the body and Dean shook the salt on it. From the side he saw it appear again and rip at Laine’s back. She screamed and threw her head back. Quickly ridding herself of the pain, she shot after it again. Dean whipped out his lighter and set fire to the body. It caught fast and spread from the woman’s torso to her legs and hair. The cremation had begun and the killing had ended.

Dean ripped the plugs from his ears and tossed them aside as he ran to Laine who was breathing heavily. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine I just…it hurts a little.” She replied with a smile, looking into his eyes.
---------------
“Thanks for your help back there. We really appreciate it.” Sam said, walking her to her front door.

“It was nice to have some help.” Dean added.

“It was nice to help.” She replied, this time with a forced smile.

“Goodbye.” Sam said, giving her a hug.

“Yeah, bye.” Dean nodded, awkwardly.

“Bye.” She watched them walk away, trying to hold back. She tapped her foot nervously.

They reached their car and she spurted, “Wait!” and ran over to them.

“What is it?” Dean asked, surprised.

“I’m coming with you.” She said, firmly.

“What?” Sam asked, shocked.

“You‘ve shown me what I‘m supposed to do. You‘ve shown me my purpose.” She paused and they were silent. “Besides I have nothing left. I’m a cashier at BP and, now, live alone in the middle of nowhere. Maybe…maybe that’s why you came here…not only to kill the Siren, but to recruit me.” Again she waited in agony.

Sam looked at Dean, “We’ve seen her wall and her shotgun. She thinks like us and she could help.”

“We don’t need any help.” Dean said, sternly.

“This is what I need…please. I can help you. I know I can.”

Dean shrugged, “You still have to sell your house and quit your job and pack your things. We don’t have time to wait for you.”

“Now that my father is dead, I own the house completely. It’s been in the family for decades. As for my job, my boss is a…she won’t care. I’m low maintenance, as you may come to find, and only need…five minutes…tops.” She prayed inwardly.

Dean stared into her eyes and again wished he hadn’t, “You got five minutes then I’m leaving your ass.”

She kissed him gratefully on the cheek and raced back into her house.

Sam smirked at Dean.

“What?”

“She’s pretty.”

Dean glared at Sam.

“I’m just saying,” Sam continued to grin.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Author's note: I intended this to be a series, but haven't got around to writing more. If you like it and want to see more, I may just crank some more out for you! :wink:
Last edited by KiteRide86 on Sat Jun 16, 2007 4:25 pm, edited 2 times in total.
  





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Tue Jun 05, 2007 8:56 am
Rydia says...



Again this is good and I haven't seen the film or book or whatever it's based on but it's interesting. I can see this being a sort of 'buffy the vampire slayer' thing. You should defineately write more. As for mistakes...

Some reason he had to go on the bank and it attacked, but seven more followed This would sound better as For some reason he climbed up the bank and it attacked...

I came across a woman who was killed precisely one month, to the second, before my father did I think you mean died here.

Sam and Dean looked at each other with sorry, remembering their mother and Jessica’s fate. Sorrow instead of sorry.

She stood there like a hologram, fading in an out of sight, clothed in a long dress colored black like a crow. In and out. You missed the 'd' off of and.

Other than that I liked it so keep up the good work.
Writing Gooder

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The light shines brightest in the darkest places.
  





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Fri Jun 08, 2007 3:57 am
kktoday says...



And here's part two! I do think you should try to continue this. It could make a nice series. Just don't make Laine anything like Jo! *cringe* :P

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, cops! You scared the crap out of me! You two have got a lot of nerve bursting in here this early in the morning only two weeks after my father’s…murder. Now tell me who you really are before I call the real cops.”

I'd personally remove the "cops" from the end of the first sentence. I think it'd work better that way.

Dean smiled, stupidly.

This made me giggle. Good timing for a stupid Dean grin. ;)

“Oh, don’t worry he needed it.” Dean winked at Sam who punched him.

Another giggle moment. Perfect type of comment from Dean.

If you believe in the good of it, you have to believe in the bad, too.”

I'd take out "of it" after "good." It flows better that way.

Some reason he climbed up the bank and it attacked, but seven more followed…in exactly the same way.

Is that supposed to be "For some reason...?"

they swooped on the ship and tore its sailor's limb from limb sending their souls unburied to the underworld.

"Sailor's" shouldn't have the apostrophe. And I believe you should have a comma after "limb" and before "sending."

“Is that a walkman?” Laine asked, puzzled.

“It’s an EMF. I made it myself.” Dean said, defending himself.

“I can see that. Too cheap to buy a real one, I suppose.” She played.

“Well, sweetheart, it’s not like we get paid.” Dean turned to give her an evil look, but all he could do was stare. He hadn’t really looked at her before and now that he had, he almost wished he hadn’t. He cleared his throat and turned it on.

Once again, perfect characterization of Dean, down to the clearing of his throat. =)

Dean stared into her eyes and again wished he hadn’t, “You got five minutes and I’m leaving your ass.”

I'd replace the "and" with "then."


Great two parter, ma'am! If you write more, you have to show me. :wink:
If only you could see
How heaven stills when you speak
I know all your days
And I have wrapped you in mystery
(My Love Hasn't Grown Cold; Bethany Dillon)
  








Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
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