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The Watcher (05)



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Wed May 23, 2007 12:05 am
Night Mistress says...



After his rest, Peter changed into a blue knit long sleeve top under a leather vest with brown rawhide pants. He bucked his sword around his waist and walked out of his tent. He walked to the cliffs. He took in Narnia’s beautiful landscape them he saw a castle glistening in the sun.

“That’s castle Cair Pavael and the four thrones, one where you’ll sit as high king, Peter.” Aslant said as he came up behind him. Peter looked down.

“You doubt the prophecy?” Elvina asked as she came and took a seat on a rock next to Aslan.

“No just it, Aslan, Elvina. I’m not who people think I’m.” Peter said as he looked down.

“Peter Pensive, formally of Fichley.” Aslan said, “beaver also mention that you plan on turning him into a hat.” He added with amusement. Peter and Elvina clucked.

“Peter, we all control by a greater fate even mine, but we must accept it. I too want my family safe.” Aslan said. The wind blew. Elvina stood up suddenly, as it she heard something. Then a deep, rich noise pierces the air.

“Susan.” Peter screamed and raced off in that direction.


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Lucy and Susan were in a tree, tying to get away from the jaws of Magrium. Peter came charging in, drawing his sword at the same time.

“Get back!” Peter yelled. He pointed his sword at the wolf.

“Peter.” Lucy screamed from the tree.

“Come on.” Magrium said as he started to circle Peter. “We both know that you haven’t got it in ya.”

“Peter!” Susan yelled. Peter looked up into the tree. “Watch out for the other one.” She said. He brought his attention back to the wolves.

“You’re wasting your time,” Magrium said as he continues circling Peter. The other wolf made his way around to Peter’s back. A roar erupted behind him. Aslan trapped the wolf to the ground with his paw.

“Back. This is Peter’s battle.” Aslan said to others.

“You may think you’re a king but you are going to die like a dog!” Magrium yelled as he attacked Peter. Peter’s sword ran through his chest and landed on top of Peter.

“No.” Lucy said as she jumped from the tree. Susan followed her. Peter pushed off the wolf’s corpse. He hugged his sisters.

“Elvina, come here.” Aslan said. Elvina rode Balan up to him. Aslan let go of the wolf that was trap under his paw. “Follow him and get the other one son of Adam back.” He said.

“As you wish, milord.” She said, “come on, Balan.” Then she follows the wolf.

Peter watches her rode after the wolf. Aslan looked at him. “She’ll be fine.” He said as if he read Peter’s mind.


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Elvina and Balan follow the wolf to the dark forest. “Slow down Balan, but not too much.” She whispered into his ear.

“Alright.” He whispered as he slow down his speed. They made their way the trees, then came upon the camp. They saw the wolf still running though the camp, and then they saw Edmund.

“There he is.” She said as she got off. Balan grabbed her by the back of her shirt with his teeth. “How are you going to get him?” he asked, eyeing her wearily.

“How I always do. Stay here.” She said as she sneaks into the camp. She hid behind trees, taking small steps until she got to Edmund’s trees where he was tied up.

Great, I have to deal the dwarf she thought as she saw the witch’s dwarf teasing Edmund. She drew a sai from her belt, sneak up behind him and hit him with the butt of the sai. She cut Edmund’s bind and removed the gag. She told him to be quiet, then sneak back to Balan.

“The prisoner is escaping!” one of the ogres yelled.

“Run!” Elvina yelled as she pulls Edmund to Balan. She got on Balan and held out her hand. Edmund look up at her. “Come on!” she said. He grabs her hand and she swung him up on Balan, behind her.

“Come on, Balan.” She said. “Let’s get out of here.” Balan rode away from the dark forest. They rode to camp, to find Aslan waiting for them. The sun had set, making it dark outside.

“Welcome back Edmund, son of Adam,” Aslan said to the boy. He turns to Elvina. “Thank you, Elvina.”
"I love you," she whispered in his ear, before taking his mouth with her own.

~Elizzabeth Grey of Addicting Posion
  





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Wed Jun 06, 2007 1:07 pm
Twit says...



Good. Just a few typos here and there, and some sentances could be worded a bit better, but otherwise, fine!
"TV makes sense. It has logic, structure, rules, and likeable leading men. In life, we have this."


#TNT
  





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Thu Mar 12, 2009 12:27 am
Sare Agama says...



Once again, you are mixing the view points. You are also putting the wrong... how shall I say... word? For example:

Night Mistress wrote: Aslan let go of the wolf that was trap under his paw

It should be trapped. Oh, and you added a 't' to the end of Aslan in the first sentence.

Here, too.

Night Mistress wrote: “Alright.” He whispered as he slow down his speed.


Night Mistress wrote: Great, I have to deal the dwarf
What do you mean? I have to deal the dwarf...

I'll let you pick out the rest of the errors. If you don't find them, I'll point them out.
Your monthly Bible quote: "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are decietful." Proverbs 27:6
  








Journeys end in lovers' meeting.
— William Shakespeare