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Young Writers Society


The Black Cobra: Chapter 1



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Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 61
Tue Jul 17, 2007 7:32 am
BrokenSword says...



Thank you so much Amelia, I love getting detailed crits because when I re-read the chapter so many times I start missing some important things.

I'm starting to notice I describe things unnecessarily, and it's starting to bug me. I'll have to fix that as I keep writing.
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 2
Wed Jan 02, 2008 7:19 am
Sasha Arai says...



I'm curious to see how this works out. Please update soon. You have a good sense of diction and I like that.
"Anyone can where a mask but the importance of everyone around them is to see the person beneath the mask, underneath the skin and into the heart."
  








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