OK
So here it is!!
Part four (of seven)
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At first, she couldn’t figure out where I was, as I wasn’t on the bed, and surely a vampire would never fall onto the floor? Turning, she was about to look elsewhere, when a fresh wave of agony hit and I screamed, actually screamed, and then she was there, next to me, asking questions that I hadn’t the strength to answer. Gently, she slipped one arm around my shoulders and the other under my legs and lifted me – her fragile appearance was deceptive – onto the bed again, where I promptly curled into a ball again as another wave hit. I screamed again, and I knew I had to tell her, before another wave overcame me.
So I cried out those crucial two words, over and over: “Carlisle! Call… Carlisle…!” I broke off to scream again, and I could sense Alice’s fear. Her hand shook as she picked up my cell, and she had to dial the number twice. Carlisle answered on the second ring, just like always, and I heard him say “Aimee! Good to hear from you!” before Alice told him who it was. Carlisle seemed confused, and asked her why she was using my cell. She explained quickly, and I’m not sure Carlisle believed her until I screamed “Carlisle!” in the background.
Alice hung up after just a few minutes, looking even paler than usual. “He’ll be right over. He’s going to phone Esme and tell her to come home right away, and tell her to collect Edward from Charlie’s, OK?” I managed to nod, and I could see the tears in her eyes as I curled up again and screamed. “Alice… when Esme… gets here – ARGH! – tell her… only her… allowed up… not others… even – ARGH! – Edward… no… promise?” I managed to say, and then slumped back, exhausted. “Promise,” she whispered, her usually musical voice thick with tears. We heard a car outside, and seconds later the front door opened and we heard Carlisle come bounding up the stairs.
The bedroom door slammed open, hitting – and denting – the wall behind it. I stifled a sob.
Carlisle was next to me in an instant, one hand in mine, one stroking my ruffled hair. A wave of agony hit me and I curled up again.
“Daddy… make it go away…” I whispered, and I felt a tear splash onto my hand.
“OK, princess. I’ll try. Daddy’ll try” he reassured. He told me to describe the pain, and so I did. I told him about how my muscles clenched and it felt like I was falling apart, and he nodded sympathetically.
“Esme’s two minutes away,” Alice whispered, and I reminded her silently of the promise we’d made. The effort was too much and once again I slumped against the pillows. Carlisle was examining my stomach, and although he could find nothing wrong externally, it was impossible to know what was happening inside.
Just then, the door slammed open again and there was Esme, her face streaked with tears, her hair loose and plastered to her scalp, her dress ripped up one seam and covered with tiny seed heads. Looking as far down as I could, I saw her blue high heels swinging from her hand, which explained why I hadn’t heard her coming.
Close behind her was Alice, who looked a little peeved, and I guessed the others had been troublesome about staying downstairs. Esme burst into fresh tears when she saw me, and in the blink of an eye she was on the bed, cradling my head in her hands. I could feel her tears dripping into my hair, her hands on my cheeks, and I screamed again, curling into a tight ball. This time, I stayed there, and I could feel Esme’s hands rubbing my back gently. I took her hand, as it made it easier to communicate silently, and asked her to show me her memories of giving birth to her son. She did so reluctantly, but I still experienced the full pain of it.
It seemed like a pin prick compared to what I was feeling. I told Carlisle and Alice to take hold of my hands, my feet, and I showed them Esme’s memories too. Then, as a fresh wave of pain hit and I screamed once more, I showed them that, and felt them recoil in horror. Alice and Esme made small noises of pain, and they all flinched, as though someone had hit them.
It was then, as Esme’s tears flowed more profusely, and Alice began to properly cry, that Bella made her entry.
She told Carlisle that Edward had described what was happening to her, and she told us it was like when Edward left her (here, Esme, Alice and Carlisle winced, and looked a little embarrassed) and she had often wrapped her arms around her chest – as I was – to “hold herself together.” That’s when Carlisle got it. I was heartbroken that Seth had left me. I could hear him thinking: Amazing, how does she know about the accident?
“Accident?” I asked out loud. Carlisle and Esme looked at each other, ashamed.
“Aimee…” Carlisle began, but Esme silenced him with a wave of her hand.
“Aimee…” she continued. “In England, Seth was in the car with his Uncle Kris, and it crashed. Seth was hurt very badly, and he… he…” here she broke off, unable to go on.
“Aimee, what Esme’s trying to say is that Seth might not make it,” Carlisle told me gently. I screamed again, and the pain stopped. Instead, a curious numbness seemed to overcome my body.
“Carlisle… you’ve got to be careful with her. Remember what I did, just so I could “hear” Edward’s voice? Who knows what crazy things she could do?” Bella’s voice interrupted my thoughts. It was the perfect plan. Alice gasped. A vision filled her head.
Wolves. And me, in the midst of them. There was a fire burning, and I could hear crying, although all I could see was the sky. There was no pain. Everything felt dead.
I understood instantly what I should do. “Thank you Alice,” I whispered, and before anyone could stop me, I had jumped off the bed and leapt through the window, and disappeared into the night.
I couldn’t live without Seth, and he obviously didn’t want me, if he had left so silently.
So I ran as fast as I could towards La Push. I had to make it to the reservation, and soon. In my head, I tried to convince myself of what I was going to do, tried to justify it.
The Cullens hated me.
That was my excuse for going to the reservation.
None of them loved me at all. Why should they, when I had caused nothing but pain and hurt to all of them?
For instance, Esme. I had showed up one day, and since then, Edward hadn’t been the same. The kind, sweet Edward she loved had been turned into a monster, who attacked her family and ruined her home.
I had brought home a werewolf, had him sleep in the same room as me, gotten his stink all through the house. Even her grandchild, her cherished grandchild, wasn’t even mine. She was Edward’s, Edward’s and a werewolf’s. It was wrong.
Even Seth didn’t love me. He couldn’t do, or why would he have gone to England, without telling me, and left me alone?
By this time, I was well beyond the treaty line, deep in the heart of the reservation. I could sense the wolves, down by the cliffs, and so that was where I headed. After the Volturi left for what the Cullens fervently hoped was the final time, the younger wolves had returned to their previous, Cullen-hating state, although the elders, Sam, Quil, Embry and a few others, had managed to control their aversion to us.
I knew instantly that Sam Uley was not there. Instead, Brady, one of the younger wolves, who I suspected to be the leader of the so-called “Cullen Hate Club” was there, surrounded by the younger members of the pack.
They all growled as the smelt me. Even in human form, my smell must have been overwhelming, and they shrunk back from me as I walked toward Brady.
“Well, well, well,” he sneered. “A little bloodsucker got itself lost. Whatcha doing here then, leech?”
“I want to make a deal,” I told him, and they laughed.
“We have a deal already, leech, and if I remember rightly it involved you not coming onto our lands.” He told me, in a special, patronizing voice.
“I want to make a new deal. I’ll let you kill me, right there in front of the other…” it was hard to make myself say the word “…bloodsuckers, if you promise not to go after any of them.”
“Well,” Sam looked genuinely surprised, before a cruel leer made its way onto his face. “Why would we do that? You give me two good reasons, leech, and we’ve got a deal.”
Two reasons. How ridiculously easy. “One. I’m on your land. I’m breaking the treaty.” I told him.
He nodded. “OK. One more reason. Then I’ll agree to your demands. All of them.” Even the one about not crossing the line, he added silently.
I ignored him. “Two, I’m dating Seth Clearwater. He lives with me, and we’ve slept together.” I told him.
They growled in unison. “Prove it,” Brady told me.
“I will, but don’t be alarmed.” He nodded, and so I showed him. He jumped a little, but as he got used to it, he growled again.
“Enough.” He snarled. “We have a deal. We’ll kill you tonight, on the treaty line. Any last requests?” He added mockingly.
“Just a couple. One, you wait until all the bloodsuckers are there. Two, you hide in the trees until I give the signal – it’ll probably be silent, and something like “Now, Brady” and then you step out and light the fire.”
A leer took hold of his face again. “Leech, we got ourselves a deal.”
I didn’t try to run, and they didn’t try to guard me. I think something told them I really did want to die, and I wouldn’t try to run. So we went to a small clearing, around fifteen minutes before eight o’clock, and set up a huge bonfire. Brady arranged for the smallest member of the pack to stay human, and it would be his job to light the fire.
I was becoming a little nervous.
As I scouted around, sifting through thoughts, trying to find a “voice” I recognized, I began to have doubts. Was this really the right thing to do? Would it really be for the greater good? Why –
I found a voice I recognized. Rose and Em. About 15 kilometers north. Perfect.
“Brady, hide. I can hear Rose and Emmett, they’re about 15km’s north” I told him.
I don’t learn bloodsuckers names. He told me irritably.
“Fine. Blondie and the one who’s built like a tree” I told him. An eager growl went up in anticipation, and they slunk into the tree cover.
I’m over here! Rose, Em, I’m here! I shouted mentally. I knew they heard me, and I knew Alice had seen them hearing me, and told Edward. They were en route.
My death drew a little closer.
They arrived moments later. Their joy at seeing me was abruptly ended when they saw I was on the “wrong” side of the treaty line. “Aimee? Whatcha doing on that side? Come back over!” Emmett encouraged, but I wasn’t budging. I shook my head.
Next to arrive was Alice and Jasper. I could feel Alice’s pain, and tears were pouring down her cheeks. I know she wanted me to say something, anything, apologize, cry, but I forced myself to remain impassive, cold, although it broke my heart to see her crying. Desperately, she made a run for the line, but Jasper’s arm grabbed her before she could take a step, and he held her where she was, letting her sob onto his chest.
Then came Bella and Edward. Edward didn’t say anything, and I knew he was trying to get into my thoughts. But the mental shield I had put up stayed strong, and when he too left for the line, Emmett’s arm grabbed him in mid-leap. Bella took his hand and stood with him, and I felt him calm slowly. Jasper had let go of Alice, and I could sense hope in her thoughts, although I couldn’t be bothered to see why.
I braced myself for the last couple, the hardest to hurt. I shook myself. They hated me. They wouldn’t be hurt.
So I thought. Carlisle burst through the trees first, and headed straight for the line. Emmett and Jasper, unwilling to lose their adoptive father, reached out and grabbed an arm each, and restrained him between them, although unlike Edward and Alice, Carlisle stopped fighting after a longer while, and just stood there, shell-shocked.
Emmett and Jasper weren’t about to let go, however, and kept a firm hold on each arm. Seeing Carlisle lose control like that… it was awful, and so I thought the worst was over. But then came Esme.
I heard her before I saw her, and I don’t mean heard her thoughts. She came running through the trees, sobbing and stumbling, and if Edward hadn’t caught her in time, she would have run straight over the line. “Rose, help!” he gasped, and hearing his voice was electric. No, I told myself, I can’t go back now. Esme never stopped struggling, never stopped calling my name. I tried to ignore her, and got on with my speech.
“I decided to do this today for several reasons. You mustn’t blame Alice, just me. I ruined your lives when I came here, and I know that you don’t love me, you only think you do. I’m dangerous, and even though you hate me, I decided to leave before you become too emotionally attached, even if the emotion is hatred.
“You can’t deny that you hate me. Even you, Esme, even you, couldn’t possibly love me. I showed up one day, and took away the kind, sweet Edward you loved. He turned into a monster, who would attack his own family, and your family too, and it was all my fault.
“I ruined your home. I brought home a wolf, took him into my room and slept with him and let him roam the house until the whole place reeked of him, that foul, wet-dog stink.
“Even your grandchild, your precious grandchild, isn’t mine. He’s your favorite son’s, Edward’s and a wolf’s, a wrong that would never have happened if I had stayed away.
“That same granddaughter, whom I so stubbornly insisted I wanted, had picked up a gift from the human who carried her, a gift that nearly took your eldest daughter from you forever, a loss that is about to be compensated for.
“And my last wrongdoing. Your son, your eldest son, is now restraining you, so that you don’t jump across that line and get killed, for me, the girl you think you love. Well, don’t. Don’t bother. I’ve made my decision. Don’t cry for me, if anything, hate me even more than you do now, for making you feel this way.
“Because underneath that phony love is hatred, and you just need to accept that, hate me for the horrible person I am.
“Goodbye” I finished.
Light the fire, I thought at the boy with the matches, and so he did. I could feel the heat of it on my back. Esme screamed, a long, heart-rending sound, and twisting round, she slashed Edward’s shoulder with her teeth and tried to run forwards again.
Edward simply ignored the rip in his shirt, and the shallow graze on his skin, and as Esme looked at it in horror, all the fight went out of her, and she just sobbed onto his shirt. Carlisle tried to bargain with them, pleaded, and the others joined in, but I ignored them, ignored the pain inside me, and thought the command. Now, Brady.
In a second, the wolves were upon me, and I heard Esme cry out in terror. As Brady lunged forward and tore a chunk out of my side, as I fell to the floor, to the mercy of the wolves, I saw her bury her head in his chest, and felt a wave of pity for those poor leeches, who thought they loved me.
The next second, I was flying, as one of the wolves picked me up and flung me into the air. It was both incredible and horrific at the same time, and then I was hitting the earth with a sickening thud.
They did it again and again, until one realized that I was conscious, and then suddenly I felt teeth on my back, and with a sickening crack I felt my back snap in two, and passed out.
* * *
I opened my eyes a second later, and was shocked to see my broken body lying on the ground below me. My right side was soaked with blood, and my eyes were wide open, staring at the sky. The wolves picked my body up and tossed me again, and this time, I saw my feet land on the Cullen side. Alice darted forwards – I realized now why she had been calm – and seizing my ankles, pulled me across to her side – an action accompanied by furious growls from the wolves.
Esme was by my side in an instant, Carlisle just a nanosecond behind her. “Edward?” Carlisle asked, the concern clear in his voice. I’d let down my mental shield while the wolves were tossing me, and I was thinking at the top of my lungs I’M ALIVE!!! But he shook his head. “I’m sorry, Carlisle. I just can’t hear anything. If she was blocking me, it would’ve stopped when she broke her back. I’m sorry…” here he tailed off and started to sob himself.
“NO!”
Esme’s cry of anguish cut through everyone like a knife. It made your heart twist to hear, and you found tears in your eyes, whether you wanted to cry or not.
She was knelt with my head in her lap, holding my head against her chest, and for the second time that day, her tears dripped into my hair. She sat there, sobbing, cradling my head, whilst Carlisle knelt beside her, with his arm around her, tears running down his cheeks. Looking around the little circle, I saw that even Rosalie was crying, her eye makeup smudged and running. After a few moments, Esme seemed to regain control of herself, and managed to say: “She died thinking we hated her. We loved her! She was so good, and pure, and she didn’t do those things deliberately…”
Here she looked down and seeing my eyes were wide open, she closed them gently, before whispering: “We loved you, my darling. We loved you.” And then she sobbed, tears of anguish, regret, pain, and I remembered something Edward had said, a long time ago:
“Causing someone like Esme pain was truly inexcusable”And I knew it was true.
Carlisle knelt down carefully next to Esme, and gently took my head into his own lap. He stroked my hair, and then spoke, surprisingly calmly: “Aimee, we truly loved you. We’ll look after Mia for you. We don’t blame you for anything, you were hurting and I couldn’t make it go away. It’s my fault. I’m sorry, my princess.”
He became too choked up to continue. Then everyone started to take the blame.
“I should have been more careful about the vision I had.” Alice.
“I should have gone upstairs with Alice and calmed her down.” Jasper.
“I should have told her I was sorry, and thanks, and that I will always love Mia like she was my own child, and shouldn’t have done what I did.” Rosalie.
“I should have gone with Jasper and stopped her from leaving.” Emmett.
“I shouldn’t have mentioned crazy things to her.” Bella.
“I should have gone seen what she was going to do, and come after her.” Edward.
“I shouldn’t have told her about the accident.” Esme.
I wanted to tell them that it was none of their faults. I wanted to tell them I was alive and kicking. I wanted to comfort Esme. But I couldn’t Somehow, I couldn’t seem to get back into my body. I started to panic. I couldn’t be dead! I needed to go back and tell them I loved them.
As I struggled to get back to my body, gently, Carlisle picked me up, and cradling me in his arms, he suddenly froze. Leaning down, he carefully positioned his teeth on my neck… and bit me. I could see the logic. I waited to be sucked back into my body. Nothing happened. I could only watch, powerless, as everyone began to cry again. “What did you do that for?!” everyone asked, and Carlisle explained that if I was somehow still in there, it should wake me up again. He waited. They all held their breath. Still nothing. So gently, as gently as he could, Carlisle began to make his way back home, the broken body of his youngest daughter resting in his arms.
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Part Five coming soon!!
EDIT: Sorry about the double posting - stupid copy and paste! Should be A-OK now!
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