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BloodMoon chapter 2



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Sun Feb 01, 2009 2:37 am
chinchillagirl_34 says...



Rain

"Whoa watch where your going!" a very aggravated voice shrieked.

"Sorry." I mumbled.

"Then get off of me."

"Oops sorry." I manged as I stood up slightly bruised up from the fall.

"Are you okay Rain?" Calico's asked out of breathe from running, and screaming.

"Calico? What are you doing here? And why are you in the forest at night? Haven't you been watching the news?" I looked over at the person they looked kind of familiar.

"Um nothing Taiga. Hey wait what are you doing in the forest at night?" Calico said switching the question around.

"Nothing." he said with a cold grin. Then it hit me this was Calico's crazy semi goth cousin. And he was right about the news reporting people going missing each night.

"I think we should get going now." I whispered to Calico.

"Oh now whats the rush?" a new voice creepy voice broke in. Slowly we all turned around to come face to face with a strange looking man. He was tall and lean, his black hair was slicked back. Something was off about this guy but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"This has nothing to do with them William let them go." Taiga said boldly while stepping in front of us.

"Oh now now Taiga calm down. I'm offended that you think I would hurt them." he said in a cool collective voice as he looked hurt.

"I did what you wanted, now leave us alone." Taiga growled.

"Who is that guy Taiga?" Calico whispered, while peeking around Taiga's arm.

"My my now who's this young lady?" William conjured, as he stepped closer.

This guy was weirder than weird, he kept coming closer and closer until I could smell a weird smell that some how reminded me of my pass. Before I could remember that smell I looked at his face that's when it hit me his eyes were red!! And not red as if he hadn't had enough sleep, but as if his iris were made of blood! I let out a gasp when I saw his eyes. Making his attention go towards me.

His eyes swept over me as if I was a piece of food to him. I couldn't move as his eyes finally made there way to my eyes. It felt like he was staring into me seeing every memory I ever had.

"Leave her alone." Taiga voice floated around somewhere but I still couldn't move as if I was in a trans. "Stop." Taiga voice appeared again. Taiga stepped in front of me finally breaking the trans.

I felt light headed, like I was going to fall over, and barf any minute. "Are you okay?" Calico's frantic voice brought me back from all of my pain. I manage to shake my head.

"Well well aren't you the brave one now." William creepy voice sounded angry now.

"You said that once I finished you would leave." Taiga voice sounded scared.

"Well well Taiga you must of miss heard me. . ." It was like the world stood still. "I said. . ." I froze with terror as I realized what he was about to say. "That I would leave you alone." His mouth turned into a twisted smile, one that only can be posed by someone who is pure evil.

It was like everything was in slow motion, he jumped at towards us grabbing Taiga's arm and snapping it into two, then swimming him around and throwing him at a tree. He punched me in my gut then grabbed my shirt and pulled me up and bite my shoulder.

"AHHHHHHHH!!!" I couldn't hold the cry of pain in. I felt like I was on fire. The pain burned at first at my shoulder then it traveled though my whole body, making me scream even louder than before.

"Leave her alone!" Calico's voice sounded like it was far away. And suddenly there was no pain just numbness. I looked around seeing Calico smacking William with a tree branch. At first he didn't do anything, then he looked up his face looked annoyed. He threw me off to the side and turned on Calico.

It was like I was watching a movie He looked at Calico and muttered something, a look of pure horror crossed her face as he attacked her. She started to scream and tried to run, but it was too late he grabbed her arm and yanked her back. She tried to get free but he snapped her arm, but she wouldn't stop. Calico never gave up, even how pointless it is even if she knows there's nothing you can do. William stuck his hand though her stomach when he pulled it blood covered it. His grin got wider and wider. A howl sounded somewhere, that's when one word came to my mind before I slipped into unconsciousness. . . vampire. . .

Seth

'Sam can I go now?' I whined I couldn't stand patrol nothing ever happened.

'Calm down Seth, she won't get far she's only human. And besides there hasn't been a vampire scent here for awhile, other than the Cullens.'

'Fine but if there is no vampire scents other than the Cullens I don't see why were here.'

After patrolling around for awhile with of course nothing happening. 'Do you smell that?' Wayne asked.

'Smell what?' Sam sounded annoyed, I guess he wasn't in the mood for one of Wayne's pranks tonight.

'I'm kind of in a hurry Wayne so can you just save this prank for another time.' I pleaded impatiently.

'No I'm serious. Think it's weird that there is not a single vampire scent other than the Cullens. But people keep going missing.' Wayne thought making some sense for once.

'Okay so what's your point?' Paul asked. 'Are you saying that the Cullens are really evil and been playing us for a bunch of fools?' Paul never believed them.

'No, but think they come through here all the time to hunt. So it would be easy for another vampire to walk over there tracks and we would never notice.' Wayne's thoughts were frantic as if he was getting freaked out.

'So your saying that the vampire is somewhere in the forest?' my heart skipped a beat as I emidiatly thought of Rain and Calico. I turned and looked at Sam feeling like a boulder just landed on my shoulders. That's when I heard it. A blood curdling scream of pain at first it was faint then it got louder as if the pain was increasing. I took off as fast as I could hoping praying that it wasn't Rain.

As we got closer the stench of blood got stronger and stronger. I heard a thud and another scream. Then a chilling creepy voice "My my what a brave stupid little girl, you would make an excellent vampire." then the scream came again but louder. As we broke into the clearing. There in the middle was a tall dark figure and in arm was Calico! Blood triked down her neck as the vampire greedily drank from her.

'Be on the defense until we can make sure there out of the way.' Sam thoughts were now tough and stern his male dominance side taking over.

'Seth.' Wayne thoughts were shocked. I turned in the direction he was facing and saw. . . Rain! Her body was bruised and bloody, she was out cold blood rushed from her head and shoulder. Her face was paler than it was earlier.

Rage engulfed me as I lunged at him. His face turned from an evil grin to a frightened child as he threw Calico at me. I was already in mid leap and couldn't stop myself. Sam jumped up and slammed me into the ground as Wayne caught her before she hit the ground. I looked around for the creep but couldn't find him.

'He got away.' Wayne thought. 'What do we do? There going to become vampires?!' Wayne thoughts were frantic again he was never good under stress.

'Lets take them to the Cullens. Paul see how if you can find any one else. Leah are you there?' Sam thought.

'Yeah what do you need?' her voice was like usual arrogant.

'There's a vampire in the area take your patrol and get rid of him or at least get him out of here, then meet us at the Cullens.' Sam thought before howling to warn them of our arrival.

"Clarisse! Please help us!" Sam shouted as he morphed into his normal form as we got to there house. The door opened instantly as light shined into the darkness of the night.
"Why don't we let Peeta claim it, since he died today?"-Finnick (Catching Fire)

"We may be friends and all, but if were being chased by crazy flesh eating zombies. I won't lie. . .I'll trip you."~ Me after watching the hills have eyes.
  





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Tue Feb 03, 2009 3:19 pm
Moo says...



Heya! Moo here :) Sorry this is late, I've been busy with Instinct as you know. I've read the first chappie of this and I'm really enjoying it so far :D This chapter was very exciting, I'm looking foreward to finding out what happens to Calico and Rain. Will the Cullens accept her into the family? I WANT TO KNOW!!! Also, I really like the names, unusual ones are awesome! ;)
Most mistakes here aren't anything major, just a few grammar ones. Your use of language is good, well done. Descriptions are great as well :D
Just be careful with these:

Your and You're ---> You seemed to have gotten mixed up with these two. Don't worry, I'm mustard for getting 'where' and 'were' mixed up! :oops: The latter is short for 'you are,' and the former is used with possesion. Hope this helps!
Looking forward to reading more, please update this soon!! :D

Happy writing! :D

-Moo
“Poetry is old, ancient, goes back far. It is among the oldest of living things. So old it is that no man knows how and why the first poems came.”

--Carl Sandburg
  





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Wed Feb 04, 2009 1:50 am
chinchillagirl_34 says...



Thanks for the review, I feel kind of silly taking this long to type something so short. :oops: But hey. Thanks for the tips Moo! I hope I will be able to update soon, but with school and all so busy. That's why there's summer for writers like us to catch up on writing!! :D Anyways hope you can post Instinct soon, thanks for the review! :wink:
"Why don't we let Peeta claim it, since he died today?"-Finnick (Catching Fire)

"We may be friends and all, but if were being chased by crazy flesh eating zombies. I won't lie. . .I'll trip you."~ Me after watching the hills have eyes.
  





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Sun Feb 08, 2009 1:35 am
bunnie_i_am says...



AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to no what happens!!!!!!!!!!!
Urg, I hate school!!!!!!!!! Write MORE!!!! Now!!!!!!!!!! Haha jk. But still right more!!!!

Do they become Vampres??? What about poor Seth???? He's my fav chareceter from the series, don't hurt him!!!!!!! hum.... I didn't notice any teribale mistakes though, so good job!!!
"Having an eye for beauty isn't the same thing as a weakness except possibly when it comes to you."
"I just want to spend every possible minute of the rest of my life with you"
"I realize only one person will be damaged beyond repair if Peeta dies. Me"
  








Nothing is impossible, for the word itself says, 'I'm possible!'
— Audrey Hepburn