Chapter 7:
The battle had stopped when both teams stop firing at each other. Simmons and Caboose didn’t want to get killed by the rocket launcher, so they went back to their base. Hank and Axel were sick and tired of hiding behind rocks all day, so they went back to their base. Axel was in front of the base with Hank trying to contact their team’s command centre and request help.
“Come in, Vector 7 command. This is Outpost 217 Alpha, do you read me?”
“I don’t know what good calling command is going to do us,” Hank said. “I mean, they sent us a tank that no one could drive. What are they going to send now, a bunch of guys who can’t shoot a gun?”
Axel turned to Hank and said, “Shut up, can’t you see I’m on the phone?”
A crackled voice replied through Axel’s radio headset. “Come in Outpost 217 Alpha, this is Vector 7 command, do you read me?”
“Hello, command! We need help.”
“Roger that, what is your request?”
“I don’t know what the technical military term is for it, but we’re pretty f*cked up down here. We need men!”
“…Dude, how long have you guys been down there?”
“No, no, no! Not like that. We need more men to help us. The enemy has a base in the same canyon as us.”
“Roger that, did you get the tank we sent?”
“Yeah, that got… blown up.”
“Wow, sucks to be you.”
“Yeah, we know.”
“I’ll send someone down there as soon as I can. Over and out.”
“Hey, Axel? How are we going to break this to the boss?” Hank asked.
“Oh, crap. I totally forgot. We can’t tell Tex what happened. If we do, he’ll turn our stomachs inside-out.”
“But it’s not like we can keep it a secret. The busted tank is sitting in the dead centre of the canyon.” Hank pointed across the field to the upside-down tank. It stuck out like a sore thumb in the distance.
Axel quickly came up with a plan. “Okay, here’s what we tell him. The enemy blew up the tank, but we managed to take out one of their guys.”
“Wait, wasn’t that guy killed by his own team-mate?” Hank asked.
“He did it with our tank, so I say we count it.”
“And didn’t we blow up our own tank?”
“Actually, you did. So if you don’t go along with this I’m going to tell Tex what really happened.”
“But you told me to shoot the tank!” Hank said.
“Life’s a b*tch, isn’t it?” Axel made his way to the base. “Now come on, we’ve got to tell the boss what happened.”
Serge had just returned from command and Grif was currently explaining to him what had happened. Lopez was trying to fix the jeep.
“…and then I thought, you know, we could sneak around the side while they were hiding behind the rock, but that’s when the tank showed up and, well, sh*t just started blowing up.”
Serge let out an angry sigh. “Grif, do you have any godly idea how much this piece of equipment costs?” he asked, motioning to the warthog.
“I don’t know, like ten? Twenty… twenty-five bucks, maybe… you’re going to kill me now, aren’t you?”
“Tell you what, Grif. I’m a fair man. I’ll give you a ten second head start here before I let Lopez do anything he wants to ya.” Lopez got out from under the jeep. He picked up his battle rifle and pointed it at Grif. Serge had his pistol out and pointed at Grif’s head as well.
“Guy’s, I just want you to know, I’m really, really sorry here and-”
“Five-Mississippi, six-Mississippi.”
“Okay, I guess I’d better get going then.” Grif started to back away a bit before turning around and making a dead run toward the base.
Serge and Lopez looked at each other for a moment before turning back to Grif and open firing. As Grif ran he shouted, “Hey, guys, that’s not funny! Somebody could get hurt here!”
Meanwhile, back at the other base…
Axel and Hank had just explained everything to their boss, Tex. Tex wore the same black armour as the rest of them except he had an insignia of Texas on his shoulder.
“So everything was going great until the enemies showed up with a rocket launcher and blew up the tank,” Axel explained. “I was able to get out of the tank in time before it exploded.”
Tex looked off into the distance at the tank in the middle of the field. “And that’s why my tank is sitting upside down over there?”
“Uhh… Did I mention we were able to kill one of their guys?” Axel asked.
Tex turned to Hank and said, “I thought you told me there WERE no enemies in this canyon.”
“I thought so, too!” he said. “They must have showed up a day or so earlier.”
Tex looked from one to the other and said, “…You’re lying to me.”
“No, we’re telling the truth!” Axel insisted. “We wouldn’t lie to you, boss!”
“Tell you what,” Tex said, “I’ll kill you both after I kill all our enemies.” Tex left for the enemy base, leaving Axel and Hank behind.
Hank turned to Axel and asked, “You think if we find some place to hide now he won’t find us when he gets back?”
“I doubt it,” Axel said. “If we hide from him he’ll probably make our deaths slow and painful.”
“So, Serge thought my strategy had merit, but was poorly executed. Probably because somebody didn’t believe in it,” Grif explained.
“Bullsh*t,” Simmons said, “He told me he thought you were a retarded monkey, and he’s going to suspend your weapon privileges.”
“Do you think Serge will be mad at me?” Caboose asked.
Simmons turned to the rookie and said, “Don’t worry. As long as you’re not Grif you’ll be just fine at this base.”
“Griiiiiif… Siiiiiimmoooons…” All three of them turned to see the ghost of a white armoured soldier.
“Who the hell are you?” Grif asked.
“I am the ghost of D, and I’ve come back with a warning!”
“You’re not D,” Caboose said. “D’s armour is silver, you’re white!"
“Rookie, shut up, man!” D yelled. He wasn’t trying to make his voice sound scary anymore. “I’m a freaking ghost! Have you ever seen a silver ghost before?”
“Yeah, that’s definitely D,” Simmons said.
“Now I gotta start over again.” He cleared his throat and tried again. “Griiiiiif… Siiiiimmoooooons… I’ve come back with a warning!”
“Is it really necessary to do the voice?” Grif asked.
“Yeah, it’s kinda annoying,” Caboose said.
“…Fine. Okay, here’s the deal. I’ve come back from the dead to give you a warning about the bad guys. Their leader-”
“What’s the warning?” Caboose asked.
“Shut up for one second and I’ll tell you!”
“Oh, sorry.”
“Seriously, man. I mean, I’m coming back from the great beyond here. Do you think this is easy?” D asked. “It’s not! It’s not like I can just pop in and out whenever I feel like it! It takes a lot of concentration.”
“Sorry…”
“I mean, it’s bad enough that you keep interrupting me, but the longer you do it the less time I actually have here!”
“Just tell us what the goddamn warning is,” Grif said.
“Yeah, yeah. So, you remember those guys in black armour?” D asked.
“You mean the ones who Caboose stole the tank from?” Grif asked.
“I prefer to think of it as borrowing without permission,” Caboose said.
“Yeah, turns out their boss is an ex-mercenary. I’m not sure why they’re here, but that’s not what’s important right now. What IS important is that their leader has an AI in his helmet. We need to kill their boss the first chance we get.”
“How did you figure this all out?” Simmons asked.
“…I’m a ghost, I can turn invisible.”
“Oh! D! What’s heaven like?”
D turned to Caboose. “Heaven?”
“Hey, yeah. Since you’re dead you got to see heaven, right?” Grif asked.
“Uh… sure, why not?”
“Is it nice up there?” Caboose asked.
“Oh yeah, it’s great. Fluffy clouds, unicorns, bubblegum waterfalls, all that crap.”
Grif and Simmons looked at each other. “You didn’t really go to heaven, did you?” Simmons asked.
“Gee, do you have to ask?” D said.
“So did you, like, go to Hell?” Grif asked.
“Nope, I just stayed in this canyon.”
“Wait, if you’re a ghost then why stay in this crappy old canyon?” Simmons asked. “Why not go back to Earth or something?”
“I’m dead, that doesn’t mean I can fly, Simmons.”
“I bet in heaven they let you eat cookies every meal of the day.”
Everyone looked at Caboose. D sighed and said, “Yes, Caboose, that is what they do there.” He turned to the others and said, “I’ve got to go for now, keep an eye out for their leader.”
“How will we know if we find the leader?” Simmons asked.
“He’s the one in black armour just like the rest of them, dipsh*t.” D faded into nothing before their eyes.
Grif turned to Simmons and said, “So ghosts ARE real.”
“Think we should tell Serge about all this?” Simmons asked.
“Nah, I’m sure if D wanted him to know he’d tell Serge himself.”
Serge was watching Lopez work on the warthog while the others were still talking on top of the base. “Try connect’n that hose to that metal thingy there. I think that’s what’s makin that rattle.”
Lopez stopped what he was doing and stared at Serge.
“…I think I’ll let you do it.” Lopez turned back to the jeep and continued fixing it. Serge saw something out of the corner of his eye, but when he turned to see what it was it was gone. “What was that?”
“Simmons, what’s going on? What’s over there?”
Simmons was standing by the edge of the base. He was looking around the surrounding area for something. “I thought I saw something for a second.” Grif went to Simmons’ side to see what he was looking at.
“Maybe D’s playing hide-and-seek with us,” Caboose suggested.
“Shut up, Caboose,” Simmons said. He turned back around when he heard what he thought was footsteps. “Did you hear that?”
“Yeah,” Grif said. The sound of fizzing brought Grif’s attention back to Caboose. There was a burning blue object on the side of his helmet. “What the f*ck?”
“What?”
Simmons saw it, too. “What is that thing?”
“What thing?” Caboose asked.
“There’s something on your head,” Grif said.
“What? Is it a spider? Get it off!”
“No, it’s not a spider. It’s like a blue thing,” Simmons said.
“What? Like a blue spider? Get it off!”
“It’s not a spider, now calm down!” Grif insisted. “It’s some kind of… fuzzy pulsating thing.”
“That doesn’t sound much better than a spider,” Caboose said.
“Does it hurt?” Simmons asked.
“No.”
“Maybe we should try to take it off,” Simmons suggested.
“Good idea, go for it.”
“Me?” Simmons turned to face Grif. “By we I meant you, a**hole.”
“Well somebody needs to get it off,” Caboose said. “It might be dangerous.”
*KABOOM!*
Grif: “SON OF A B*TCH!”
Simmons: “SON OF A B*TCH!”
Simmons suddenly collapsed in front of Grif. “What the-” Something passed right in front of him. “Please, don’t kill me! I’m too good looking to die!”
(I wanted to get the *KABOOM!* in a bigger font, but I don't know how to work that thing.)
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