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The Black Cobra: Chapter 5



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Mon Jul 16, 2007 8:49 pm
BrokenSword says...



CHAPTER 5

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4


Over the next week, it was obvious that Sabah had become depressed after Erik’s angry outburst. She refused to carry on conversation with the Shah and preferred to sleep and mope in her room, surrounded by harem girls who tried everything to cheer her up. For many hours she lay in bed, crying or snapping at visitors, and the royal staff was disturbed.

When Nasser finally learned of the cause of Sabah’s unhappiness, he became angry and one day stalked up to the magician’s quarters, intending to put the man in his place.

Upon reaching the door, he knocked twice and opened it quickly, revealing his magician sitting in bed and gently stretching his injured leg. The man looked up immediately at the sound of the Shah’s arrival, his eyebrow raised.

“My lord?...”

Nasser shot him an icy stare, casting a few quick glances around the plain room. It was empty.

“Why have you rejected Sabah?” He demanded to know, approaching the magician. Erik stood up slowly as the Shah drew closer, glaring down at the shorter man.

“I do not wish to be with her,” he said simply, “and she bothers me.”

Nasser’s face grew as hard as stone. “I don’t care if you don’t want to be with her,” he snapped, folding his arms tightly across his chest. “You will do whatever she asks of you, even if I have to send two guards in here and force you to comply.”

Erik gave a faint smile and shrugged. “Do what you will.”

Nasser looked like he was about to explode; his twisted face had turned red and Erik could see his hands clench, just itching to wrap around his neck.

“If I didn’t value you so highly as an entertainer, I’d have you roasted over a spit,” the Shah hissed, coming close to Erik and tilting his head back to face the towering magician. “I will send Sabah up here one last time when she is well, and if you refuse her again, you will be very, very sorry.”

Erik’s smile did not fade.

The Shah, irritated out of his mind, swept out of the room and slammed the door. Erik sighed and went to wash his face, removing his mask as he approached his mirror. He was not concerned about the Shah’s warnings, because Nasser was weak and his threats were always empty. Erik was a rare gem in the palace. His shows were highly anticipated and the Shah enjoyed every single one of them. Nasser could never kill his magician.

“Sayyed?”

Several gentle knocks and a soft voice sounded from behind Erik’s door. He dried his face with his towel, put on his mask and answered the caller, already knowing who would be standing behind the door.

Indeed, Aisha had arrived early, which was a little unusual for her. She always liked to arrive at exactly eight o' clock. She bowed slightly before him and smiled as Erik let her enter his room.

"You're quite early," he commented, returning to his bureau. He opened a drawer and began sifting through a small box of jewelry, picking up various rings and examining them in the light. Aisha watched him quietly from where she stood in front of the door and again a shy smile crossed her face.

"Yes, Sayyed. I was sent here early by the guards."

He cast her a puzzled glance, slipping a large ruby ring onto his hand. "Why?"

She sighed. "I'm no longer required to be in your service, seeing as you are almost completely healed now."

"Oh." Erik slowly let his hand drop back down to his side and he closed the drawer. He'd forgotten that Aisha was only serving him temporarily. It was strange...he felt a little more disappointed than he had expected. She had been a good companion and a helpful servant.

"What will you do now?" He asked her, taking a seat in his chair and crossing his legs.

She gave a little shrug. "I will continue to work in the kitchen and clean the palace floors."

Erik's brow creased deeply in disapproval. "You don't want to be doing that dirty work, do you?"

"Oh no, Sayyed, I don't mind, really," she assured him quickly, coming closer to him and sitting on the edge of his bed. "It is my duty, and the duty of the other women I work with. I enjoy it."

His lips rose up in a sad smile. "No, you don't."

She opened her mouth to counter him again, but she did not want to keep lying to her former master. He was right; she hated the work, but she didn't dare speak her thoughts aloud to the women or the palace staff, for fear someone would tell the Shah about the ungrateful servant girl.

Erik leaned forward, clasping his hands together and resting his forearms on his knees. His eyes fixed themselves on her face, examining her. Aisha dropped her gaze out of habit and swallowed, staring down at her hands in her lap. She always felt nervous when he looked at her like that.

"What do you want to do, Aisha?"

She reluctantly raised her eyes to look at him. He was still staring at her like a snake, like the cobra he loved so much and she feared so greatly...and like a little doormouse, she was caught in the snake's gaze.

It was quite strange, really. She had been his servant girl for a week and yet, she never noticed how...beautiful...his eyes were. Bright blue, like the eyes of the white tiger in Nasser's menagerie. Like ice. She could see streaks of darker, richer blue embedded in his irises, spreading out from his small pupils like the points of a star. That's what they were...two stars staring at her.

Aisha inhaled sharply and blinked.

"I want to go outside," she said.

"Out in the gardens?"

"No." She sighed again, a little more deeply, and stood up. "I want to go outside of the palace. I've never gone into town before. You've been there, you know what it's like. Can you take me?"

Erik's eyebrows rose up high on his forehead. "You must know the risks involved; if the Shah finds out about this, he'll throw us into the dungeons."

Aisha smiled. "He won't find out. We'll come back before your performance."

It was surprising to Erik how quickly she had become so bold and daring. Why, only a few minutes ago she had been a shy, quiet little servant girl. Now she wanted to climb over the palace walls and walk about town, hiding from guards and exploring the different shops and looking at the different people.

He liked that.

Standing up slowly, he grinned and nodded slightly. "Come with me. I'll give you a tour of Mazanderan."

---------------------------

"Has the princess come to your room yet, Nadir? Seems she's been avoiding you...can't imagine why."

The guards laughed, slapping the disgruntled Chief of Police on the back as he sat hunched over at the bar, weakly swirling a glass of cold water in his hand. The men's obnoxious guffaws were becoming incredibly annoying and were starting to grate painfully against his eardrums. Couldn't they leave him in peace for at least five minutes?

"No, she has not come to my room, thank God," he mumbled, taking another sip of the water. The guards exploded into another barrage of laughs and swatted each other on their arms.

"Why's that, Nadir? Is she too much for you to handle?"

Nadir sighed and moved away from the group, wandering outside with the glass still in his hand. So much for a peaceful afternoon, he thought grudgingly, swirling the cool water around in his mouth. The guards had not stopped teasing him about Sabah since she arrived at the palace; he was the only one on the royal force who had not tried to entice the girl to sleep with him. The other men, blinded by their stupidity and animalistic desires, had tried and failed to seduce her, but instead of falling into an embarrassed silence, they chose to nag and bother him instead, repeatedly asking him when he was going to try and take her to his room.

It was clear that the princess did not want any of them. She had a strong fixation on the Shah's magician, and he had heard rumors that the magician was rejecting her, which in turn had enraged Nasser. If the magician wasn't a fool, he'd let Sabah do as she pleased. The Shah's punishments were not pleasant.

Nadir's eyes wandered smoothly across the street, occasionally stopping on a passing citizen carrying their shopping, cradling a child or pulling hard on the tether of a stubborn mule. His eyes were trained for this calm examination of people as he had been in the police force for quite some time. He knew how to spot the bulge of a pistol or the slim shape of a knife. He watched men's faces for signs of nervousness and observed skittish or unusual behavior. At this time of day, there was very little chance for fights or robberies, and Nadir was relaxed.

Something caught his eye; a swish of a black cloak.

Nadir turned his head and saw the Shah's magician walking down the street, wearing a large cloak around his shoulders, the hood over his head, and a baggy red tunic tied loosely at his chest. Walking beside him was a young girl dressed in a blue sari and a black headscarf, which she clutched too tightly at her neck.

Immediately Nadir was suspicious.

What he noticed first was the strange way the magician was dressed. It was a hot day, and it would be unwise to wear such a large cloak and to hood your head. The girl, on the other hand, was wearing traditional dress, but Nadir could see her eyes darting back and forth, down the street and lingering on corners.

Knowing that they were not supposed to be out here in the first place, Nadir coolly finished off his water, cast a final glance at the laughing guards inside the building, and followed the two of them.

He kept a steady pace behind the magician's billowing cloak, noting with amusment how the small girl had to take many steps to keep up with the tall man's strides. Every so often, he would see the magician bend down and say something in the girl's ear, while pointing out various buildings or corner shops.

At one point, the magician stopped at a fruit stand. Nadir watched from a safe distance as the man purchased an apple and gave it to the girl, who gave a beautiful wide smile, the kind that showed all of her teeth and made her eyes sparkle. Nadir could not help but smile himself at the sight of that girl's face.

They were coming back in his direction. Now was his chance.

"Excuse me, sir," Nadir said a little loudly, stepping out and placing his hand on the magician's forearm.

The man turned to look at him. The fact that he was wearing the large mask over his face irked Nadir greatly. He always liked to see his subject's entire face.

"Can I help you?" The magician asked, being polite, but his voice was laced with suspicion.

"Yes. Are you aware that you are not allowed to leave palace grounds?" He stared hard at the magician's eyes. The man didn't blink.

"I am fully aware."

"Are you aware of the consequences of breaking this rule?"

"Ten lashings."

Nadir nodded, clasping his hands behind his back. "That is correct. It seems that you are, indeed, fully aware of this rule. May I ask you why you are breaking it, then?"

The magician looked down at the girl standing beside him. She was completely silent, staring very hard at the glossy red apple in her hand. Apparently she was not willing to talk.

"I am showing her around Mazanderan. She has never been in town before."

"What is your position in the palace, girl?" Nadir asked her. She did not reply.

"She is my former servant girl, sir," the magician explained. Nadir raised his eyebrows.

"Unfortunately, sir, she is not allowed to leave the palace grounds either. Shall it be ten lashes for each of you, then?"

To his surprise, the magician smirked.

"If you were to tell Nasser Shah, then yes, I'm afraid we would both be lashed. After all, this girl has only been serving in the palace for nineteen years, and I for two. You must know, sir, how maddening it can become when one stays in the same place for too long. One must breathe the fresh air, congregate with his own kind, and try new things if one is to stay sane. You understand that, don't you, sir?"

"I..."

For once, Nadir was speechless; what the magician said was true. He would often find himself growing more angry and irritable as he spent more time in the palace. Sometimes he wished he could leave the place altogether, but he had not the courage to flee. He knew that if he was caught, he would be subjected to horrible punishment, and all of his efforts would have been a waste of his time.

When Nadir raised his eyes again and opened his mouth to speak, the magician and the girl were gone.

"Forgive me, Allah," he sighed, and wandered off down the road.

The magician and the servant girl would not be lashed tonight.
Last edited by BrokenSword on Tue Jul 17, 2007 8:20 pm, edited 2 times in total.
  





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Mon Jul 16, 2007 9:58 pm
sokool15 says...



Love the whole thing. No time for anything more constructive now...perhaps I'll return later. But continue, pray continue!

Most absolutely yours, 8)
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
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Tue Jul 17, 2007 7:51 am
BrokenSword says...



Thanks, sokool! :D
  





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Tue Jul 17, 2007 7:25 pm
Leja says...



“You will do whatever she asks of you, even if I have to send two guards in here and force you to comply.”


This doesn't sound very threatening. Only two guards? Here's a place to use a hyperbole, and exaggarate to fifty or a hundred guards to make the point, especially since the Shah sounds like he's getting mad.

"Can I help you?" The magician asked, being polite, but his voice was laced with suspicion.


How so?

"If you were to tell Nasser Shah, then yes


Until now, I had no idea that Nasser and Shah were the same person. I though Nasser was just an aide to the Shah.

Stylistically, I've said everything in previous chapters. Plot wise, it's holding up, but I don't really see where this is going next, and if I'm a little confused, I can't help but wonder if you are too.

As a side note, I don't think that this merits an R-rating, unless you have things planned for later in the story, in which case maybe you should just rate that individual chapter as R.
  





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Tue Jul 17, 2007 8:23 pm
BrokenSword says...



AmeliaOliver wrote:As a side note, I don't think that this merits an R-rating, unless you have things planned for later in the story, in which case maybe you should just rate that individual chapter as R.


I didn't even think about that. I've gone back and changed them to PG-13, although I am planning on having a chapter with strong violence in it that will probably need an R rating.

Thanks once again for your suggestions and your comments. You're going to have me going back and fixing these chapters before I write up new ones! :D
  





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Tue Jul 17, 2007 8:45 pm
Leja says...



I don't even know if they merit a PG-13 rating yet. Here's what I found in a "Rules" sticky:

If your poem or story may be unsuitable for younger readers, please leave a tag in the title. Use "Over 13" if language is involved, and "Over 16" if graphic violence and mature situations are involved.


I think this is more fitting with a PG rating for now [except maybe for the execution, that was a tad violent]
  








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