The Black Cobra: Chapter 1

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Thank you so much Amelia, I love getting detailed crits because when I re-read the chapter so many times I start missing some important things.

I'm starting to notice I describe things unnecessarily, and it's starting to bug me. I'll have to fix that as I keep writing.




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I'm curious to see how this works out. Please update soon. You have a good sense of diction and I like that.
"Anyone can where a mask but the importance of everyone around them is to see the person beneath the mask, underneath the skin and into the heart."



As the notifications drift in I stop and wonder. Why do they take so long? Do they have adventures we don't know about? I bet they do. When they come I will ask myself. What amazing adventure has this straggling notification been on? How far did it travel, and why didn't it take me?
— TypoWithoutCoffee